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AAAAHHHHHHH!!! (Vent)
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 108364" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Some survival suggestions? Put the dogs in a bedroom and lock the door. If you have to send husband to the hardware store to buy a locking door knob and keep the key on your wrist. No animal deserves what attacks a difficult child can dish out. I've said before our psychologist told us to STOP worrying about how difficult child was treating the dogs - and life would happen. The pit bull bit his nose - twice. I mean come on- how dumb do you have to be? Apparently (that) dumb - twice. Now difficult child leaves them alone. It took them both (dogs) two months to act normal after difficult child left. </p><p></p><p>As far as the in your face attitude. Just turn yourself off. Stop talking to him. Stop engaging him in conversation. Just go about your business like he isn't there. Let his behaviors escalate, let him threated to do XYZ - and ALLOW it to happen, stop saving him from himself. If he picks up something and says "IF YOU DONT DO THIS I'M GOING TO BREAK THAT?" then put up things you feel you couldn't live without in the bedroom with the locked door. </p><p></p><p>He needs someone to ignore him in the worst possible way. The door slamming - the names, the behavior, the language - LET IT GOOOOO and stop doing things that you feel compelled to do because it's Christmas - DO only that which you WANT to do. If you don't feel like giving him presents - don't. Who's going to come get you? The Christmas police? </p><p></p><p>When we are forgotten, we cease to exist. And nothing says "I'm over you" better and quicker than ignoring a person who is exhibiting unacceptable behaviors. It really gets their attention. And when you finally do speak speak softly, calmly and directly with piercing eye contact.It's a learned parental behavior and it takes time to learn how to detach, but it will work. </p><p></p><p>If you want to take the gifts back - Do it. I'd lay them all out on YOUR bed, take a picture of what may have been - and keep it ONLY as a reminder of the nice heart you have, and how you didn't give in to giving just to give. Give when you want to - because it makes you feel wonderful not to keep up with old traditions that were started for us as kids - because well I don't know about YOUR HOUSE, but if I had behaved ONE DAY in my life like my son? Yeah - I can see toyland. (PFT). I would have gotten a lump of coal. </p><p></p><p>Whatever you decide - Christmas will come and go - maybe it's time for some new traditions? I know it is in our house - </p><p></p><p>Many hugs</p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 108364, member: 4964"] Some survival suggestions? Put the dogs in a bedroom and lock the door. If you have to send husband to the hardware store to buy a locking door knob and keep the key on your wrist. No animal deserves what attacks a difficult child can dish out. I've said before our psychologist told us to STOP worrying about how difficult child was treating the dogs - and life would happen. The pit bull bit his nose - twice. I mean come on- how dumb do you have to be? Apparently (that) dumb - twice. Now difficult child leaves them alone. It took them both (dogs) two months to act normal after difficult child left. As far as the in your face attitude. Just turn yourself off. Stop talking to him. Stop engaging him in conversation. Just go about your business like he isn't there. Let his behaviors escalate, let him threated to do XYZ - and ALLOW it to happen, stop saving him from himself. If he picks up something and says "IF YOU DONT DO THIS I'M GOING TO BREAK THAT?" then put up things you feel you couldn't live without in the bedroom with the locked door. He needs someone to ignore him in the worst possible way. The door slamming - the names, the behavior, the language - LET IT GOOOOO and stop doing things that you feel compelled to do because it's Christmas - DO only that which you WANT to do. If you don't feel like giving him presents - don't. Who's going to come get you? The Christmas police? When we are forgotten, we cease to exist. And nothing says "I'm over you" better and quicker than ignoring a person who is exhibiting unacceptable behaviors. It really gets their attention. And when you finally do speak speak softly, calmly and directly with piercing eye contact.It's a learned parental behavior and it takes time to learn how to detach, but it will work. If you want to take the gifts back - Do it. I'd lay them all out on YOUR bed, take a picture of what may have been - and keep it ONLY as a reminder of the nice heart you have, and how you didn't give in to giving just to give. Give when you want to - because it makes you feel wonderful not to keep up with old traditions that were started for us as kids - because well I don't know about YOUR HOUSE, but if I had behaved ONE DAY in my life like my son? Yeah - I can see toyland. (PFT). I would have gotten a lump of coal. Whatever you decide - Christmas will come and go - maybe it's time for some new traditions? I know it is in our house - Many hugs Star [/QUOTE]
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