Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by TeDo, Sep 8, 2011.

  1. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Thanks for all the support and encouragement. At the meeting today, the school staff was willing to work with me......TO A POINT. What it boiled down to was "what should the consequences be when he leaves the classroom without permission?" Yes, there is a para watching him when he leaves so they know he leaves to find a quiet spot to calm down. They don't like his choices of spots (and the one he used for the first 3 days is no longer available). I told them that he doesn't trust them yet to tell them what is going on and their response was "we don't have evough time in the school year for that". WTH?? As a consequence for leaving the room without permission is to take away band or gym time. Like that's going to work. They also informed me they don't have a contract with an Occupational Therapist (OT) so they aren't sure how they are going to meet is sensory needs. I have provided them with some of his fidgets but they are locked in a drawer because he "used them inappropriately" when he was at his most stressed and they pushed him past his limits. They even went so far as to "push" for a behavioral setting until he gets his behavioral issues under control. If they would quit changing things on him or warn them about the changes ahead of time and if they would ask him what's going on and get him to trust they actually care about him, none of it would happen. I am so frustrated and confused and stressed and.....and....and.
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member


    Any chance you can get a 1-on-1 meeting with the para?
    Seems to me that is the most important person right now.
    If you can teach that person how the stress-items and escape-spot work, and help that person find the right place(s) and settings for each... then at least THAT part will be consistent. Because, if I remember right, he has this para all day.

    If you can get the STRESS-relievers built back in, there might be hope for progress on the rest.

    Is there some spot the para can take him to when he needs to escape? as in, go with him?
    That sort of thing... work on building the relationship between difficult child and para.
    Maybe even get the therapist to make direct recommendations on building this relationship???
    I've seen permission given for direct communication between para and therapist so para can ask questions etc.
  3. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    I'm sorry. What ARE they willing to do in the way of accommodations?
  4. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    An ipad for taking notes (in the resource room where he will spend a majority of the day??) IF they can get it to work. THEY will try to find a quiet place for him but aren't willing to let him have any input as to if it will work for him or not. That's it.

    Insane, I tried doing that with the para but she has never done this job before so won't even sneeze without the SpEd telling her to. She claims she wants to build a rapport with difficult child but won't LISTEN to him or try to understand "where he's coming from". That, and she spends most of her time "taking notes" on every word and action difficult child does. Why she thinks she needs to document every little thing, and I mean little, is beyond me. Her time would be better spent working WITH difficult child.
  5. keista

    keista New Member

    So what? Get a contract.

    Used them inappropriately? Hmmmmmmmmm as I recall that was actually a screening question for Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) "Does child use toys inappropriately?"

    OK, lets say you move him to a "behavioral setting". They implement the current accommodations and miraculously he's got his behavior under control, and can be sent back. They get him again and don't use accommodations "appropriately" and we're back to square one.

    So sorry that these supposedly intelligent ppl you are dealing with are being so STOOOOOOOOPID. :sigh:
  6. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Oh. You got one of those.
    They come in two flavors - it could be worse. We got one like this... with 10 yrs of experience. Even the Sp Ed teacher couldn't tell her what to do.

    So... you have nobody at the school who has a clue.

    Man, oh man. I wish I knew what to give you for advice.
  7. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    The only time I was instructed to take that level of notes on a child I was teaching was when the district thought we were going to court. Is it possible she is taking so many notes to fill time because she doesn't know what else to do?
  8. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Tell them that putting prey and predator together rarely turns out well for the prey. No behavior placement.

    Call another IEP meeting. Refuse to end the meeting until they get their heads screwed on straight. Point out that they are demanding that an autistic child be less disabled when they as nondisabled adults - can't even figure ut how to make this work.

    Buy them a copy of Lost at School by Ross Green
  9. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Somehow you need an advocate in the "next" meeting... someone with medical or legal clout, who actually understands Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids. Someone other than you, who can actually put the Sp Ed teacher in her place and the principal back on (his?) heels.
  10. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    Ditto what InsaneCdn said.
  11. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

  12. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    First off, even telling you they can't do Occupational Therapist (OT) because they don't have a contract or the money for one is a violation of difficult child's rights. How they fund what he needs is NOT your problem - and NOT an excuse they can use to not provide what he needs. FAPE in LRE is the LAW. Period. in my opinion this is NOT FAPE, nor is it anyone else's idea of it - esp if all para does is take notes on difficult child's behavior.

    I agree that you need to call another IEP meeting. Read in the archives of the sp ed forum and also post over there for the ways to get them to do what they should. Contact an advocate and havee them with you at the meeting, by teleconference or phone if nothing else.

    WHY an Ipad? I am all for assistive tech, but they can get the current version of an alphasmart (laptop for kids to do schoolwork on only) for far less and it will be far more durable. Google alphasmart and the latest versions will come up. Otherwise the school will want to hold YOU accountable if difficult child breaks it. And if they don't supervise him carefully, it will break.

    has he had an FBA that lead to a BIP? Others can tell you more of what those are, but they stand for functional behavior assessment and behavior intervention plan.

    I hope these people realize the someday someone is going to be taking care of them and if they treat too many kids that way then they will NEVER have socks that match from that point on.
  13. keista

    keista New Member

    Ditto Insane's suggestion of an advocate. Once they know you REALLY know what you are doing, they should change their tune.
  14. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    I have an advocate but since the meeting was scheduled the day before it was to happen, she couldn't be there. I am waiting to hear from her so I can fill her in on what happened at the meeting and the EMAIL I got about the changes to the IEP and BIP. I plan to call them on that detail, too. We are still in the process of getting a full Occupational Therapist (OT) evaluation done (at my expense) to narrow down sensory issues and get recommendations that I will expect them to incorporate into the IEP. The FBA was just done in May so that is up-to-date and very right on. Their "behavior plan" has nothing to do with the FBA and only states that "if difficult child leaves the room without permission, he will lose 10 minutes of band or gym". I did not agree to that when they suggested it in the meeting but they put it in there anyway. I will be keeping difficult child home until these things are resolved because they ARE going to implement it starting on Monday. I don't think so!! UGH
  15. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Can they actually implement an IEP that hasn't been signed off?
  16. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    If not, I am planning on making sure they are "reminded". The only thing I have been given is a simple email with the "schedule" (which does NOT have the class changes we all agreed on) and a "behavior plan" that I DISAGREED with. SpEd asked me to review it with difficult child so he'd know what to expect starting on Monday. NOT gonna happen!!
  17. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Maybe start a thread over in Special Education as well? Might get some additional perspectives...
    Just a thought - you've probably already thought of it anyway, but... just in case!