Abbreviations, Acronyms, Automagic

[SuZir]

difficult child made great sense after you had read the list of acronym and if it didn't make sense to you, you could not use it (many didn't.) Difficult child does no sense to me, or at least I don't want to use it of my child, but now there is over thousand messages I can't change that call my child 'difficult child' and I absolutely detest it. Now I have apparently written for example messages that state that some difficult child got sold somewhere. What kind of sense that makes to anyone? It doesn't talk about someone getting tired of difficult child and selling them to black adoption market or something like that as you could probably think if you read the headline. It used to be G.F.G got sold! G.F.G written with caps to signal it as a name instead of general use, and for people being familiar with my G.F.G's situation, it did make sense.

If you want to keep this change on, at least give us few weeks to freely edit our old posts, so we can remove these difficult child's there. I would for example rather come up with a board name to my kids and replace all the P.C's and G.F.Gs with those names instead of them being replaced with difficults and easys.

 

[Origami]

I have to agree that "difficult child" is not the same as difficult child and it does seem intrusive to change our past postings and signatures. Maybe this would feel better if it only happened for future postings, although I suppose that's not possible. For one thing, both of my "difficult children" are not children, but grown men, although technically my children. I guess our acronyms have become a casualty of search engine optimization.

On the other hand, I'll continue to use the site, since semantics won't change the value of the friendship, encouragement, and advice. However, it's just a bit jarring when I've come to identify difficult child with that unexplainable person we love but have problems with.

 

[runawaybunny]

difficult child made great sense after you had read the list of acronym and if it didn't make sense to you, you could not use it (many didn't.) Difficult child does no sense to me, or at least I don't want to use it of my child, but now there is over thousand messages I can't change that call my child 'difficult child' and I absolutely detest it. Now I have apparently written for example messages that state that some difficult child got sold somewhere. What kind of sense that makes to anyone? It doesn't talk about someone getting tired of difficult child and selling them to black adoption market or something like that as you could probably think if you read the headline. It used to be G.F.G got sold! G.F.G written with caps to signal it as a name instead of general use, and for people being familiar with my G.F.G's situation, it did make sense.

If you want to keep this change on, at least give us few weeks to freely edit our old posts, so we can remove these difficult child's there. I would for example rather come up with a board name to my kids and replace all the P.C's and G.F.Gs with those names instead of them being replaced with difficults and easys.

Unfortunately the software controls are not that granular. I am not going to enable universal editing for any and everyone here because that would compromise the security of our forum but if this change offends you and you would like to search through your past posts to edit the mentions of difficult child wiithin your past posts please message me and I will enable this permission for your individual account. This same offer goes out to every established member.

 

[runawaybunny]

I have to agree that "difficult child" is not the same as difficult child and it does seem intrusive to change our past postings and signatures. Maybe this would feel better if it only happened for future postings, although I suppose that's not possible. For one thing, both of my "difficult children" are not children, but grown men, although technically my children. I guess our acronyms have become a casualty of search engine optimization.

On the other hand, I'll continue to use the site, since semantics won't change the value of the friendship, encouragement, and advice. However, it's just a bit jarring when I've come to identify difficult child with that unexplainable person we love but have problems with.

I hear you. The child that brought me here is now 28. If you would like to search for and edit your past posts please message me.

 

[SuZir]

I am unable to enable universal editing for any and everyone here but if this change offends you and you would like to search through your past posts to edit the mentions of difficult child eithin your past posts please message me and I will enable this permission for your account.

I will get back to you later on that. Because it does indeed offend me, that my posts have been changed afterwards without my permission and against my wishes. And yes, to me changing G F Gs and g f gs to something else (and not making difference between the two despite me and many others using first one as a name and second one as more general expression) changes many of my posts so that they do not make sense. And I also find both difficult child and easy child offensive terms when it comes to my children.

 

[runawaybunny]

I will get back to you later on that. Because it does indeed offend me, that my posts have been changed afterwards without my permission and against my wishes. And yes, to me changing G F Gs and g f gs to something else (and not making difference between the two despite me and many others using first one as a name and second one as more general expression) changes many of my posts so that they do not make sense. And I also find both difficult child and easy child offensive terms when it comes to my children.

@SuZir Gift from God did offend some people but I also see your side and may have likely been on it if I were not admin here in charge of the care and feeding of this community. Let me know how you would like to proceed.

 

[SuZir]

I understand Gift from God could offend people and they would not like to use it. But I have not been aware that when you type something else, it was changed to difficult child. If you were offended with the difficult child, you did not need to use it.

I would not have a problem with new acronym Difficult Child that would be automatically changed to difficult child or any other acronym that would be changed to something else after I know about it. I have problem with my old posts being changed against my wishes. From now on I can simply not use the words that would change to difficult child and I'm totally okay with that. I'm not okay with the fact, that if you look my old posts, it may seem that I have some difficult or easy child. And of course I'm not okay with confusion editing one thing to look like the other thing causes (acronym used as a name edited to look like general definition.)

I have no problem with other people calling their loved ones 'difficult child's, I just do not want to call my loved ones that. Of course I will have almost 2000 posts of mine to edit, and I guess that in most of them I have used these words I need to edit now, so it is bit of the task, but I will get to it, when I have some time if it is indeed possible for me to have rights to edit my past messages.

 

[runawaybunny]

I understand Gift from God could offend people and they would not like to use it. But I have not been aware that when you type something else, it was changed to difficult child. If you were offended with the difficult child, you did not need to use it.

Just to clarify: No other words have ever been converted into the acronym difficult child. It has been listed as representing Gift from God in our acronym list ever since Fran posted it here under Site Information on Jun 6, 2003.

I have problem with my old posts being changed against my wishes. From now on I can simply not use the words that would change to difficult child and I'm totally okay with that. I'm not okay with the fact, that if you look my old posts, it may seem that I have some difficult or easy child. And of course I'm not okay with confusion editing one thing to look like the other thing causes (acronym used as a name edited to look like general definition.)

If you chose to use the acronym difficult child in your previous or current posts that acronym has been retired and will no longer represent the phrase "Gift from God". The phrase "Gift from God" no longer serves the best interest of our community.

I have no problem with other people calling their loved ones 'difficult child's, I just do not want to call my loved ones that. Of course I will have almost 2000 posts of mine to edit, and I guess that in most of them I have used these words I need to edit now, so it is bit of the task, but I will get to it, when I have some time if it is indeed possible for me to have rights to edit my past messages.

I will send you a private message.

 

[SuZir]

One more thing for future reference: Could someone please advise me or point to right source for US copyright laws. I have foolishly assumed they would be similar to EU laws but that doesn't seem to be a case, because altering other people work like this against their consent (or have we given consent?) Would be a clear violation of copyrights around here but I assume it is not in the USA and this board of course follows US legislation.

I mean, I would like to know how much you can alter other people's texts in USA without their consent? And if we have given consent by writing here, how much does it give permission to alter our texts? For example, is it alright to alter every SuZir typed here to 'village idiot'? (just an example)

 

[runawaybunny]

@SuZir.

Claims of Copyright Infringement

It is the policy of Style and Design LLC to comply with the United States Copyright Act of 1976 (17 U.S.C.), and amendments including the Digital Millennium Copyright Act (DMCA).

Any person who believes that their copyrighted material is contained on any of Style and Design LLC's web sites may file an infringement claim.


Designated Agent to Receive Notification of Infringement Claims:
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Managing Partner
Style and Design LLC
31878 Del Obispo St. #118-335
San Juan Capistrano, CA 92675-3224
Telephone: (949) 248-2682
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How to make a claim:
The DMCA specifies that all infringement claims must be in writing (either electronic mail or letter) and must include the following:

• Your name, physical address, telephone number, facsimile number, e-mail address and name of contact person;
• A physical or electronic signature of the copyright holder or a person authorized to act on his or her behalf;
• A description of the copyrighted work claimed to have been infringed, or, if multiple works at a single online site are covered by a single notification, a representative list of works at that site;
• A description of the material that is claimed to be infringing or to be the subject of infringing activity, and information reasonably sufficient to permit the service provider to locate the material;
• Information reasonably sufficient to permit the service provider to contact you, such as an address, telephone number, and, if available, an electronic mail address;
• A statement that you have a good faith belief that use of the material in the manner complained of is not authorized by the copyright owner, its agent, or the law; and
• A statement that the information in the notification is accurate, and under penalty of perjury that you are authorized to act on behalf of an exclusive right that is allegedly infringed.

 

[Lil]

Could someone please advise me or point to right source for US copyright laws.

http://copyright.gov/help/faq/faq-general.html#what

Seems to me this really isn't that big of a deal. It's a public forum. If I post on a forum, I assume the owners of the forum can change things. If I don't like what they do, I stop using that forum. It's not like they've stolen anyone's work and made money off it.

 

[SuZir]

Oh, I do not wish to make any claim of copyright infringement. I'm sure you have made sure beforehand altering any texts in this board that it is not violation of any copyright laws in your country. I just wish to know more about how much it is alright to alter other people's texts. If it is for example okay to alter only acronyms or any words used? How many % of original text can be altered? Can any word or acronym be replaced with any other word (could for example acronym d h be replaced with 'that swine who lives here' or something like that without it being a violation)?

I do not wish to be difficult adult but I do wish to know how much texts published in my name can be altered without my exact consent.

 

[runawaybunny]

If you guys decide to threaten me for copyright violations and I can't convince Electronic Frontier Foundation to take you on pro bono I will shut this site down. Fran was ready to pull the plug when I bought it from her because she couldn't get it to pay for itself. I had more experience and found this place to be a life saver for me when my difficult child was completely off the rails so I have been able to keep it going. If you are going to threaten me with frivolous legal actions over this I cannot afford to pay for lawyers to defend the site so it all will just go away.

Honestly I find these implications insulting to the volunteer moderators and everyone else that posts their support of battle weary parents here... not much community spirit among some of you I guess.

 

[HeadlightsMom]

Runawaybunny --- I'm so sorry to see how the thread on edit changes has run. I appreciate your words of explanation to me and accept them. I just wasn't aware of them before. I'll just follow the bouncing ball and make whatever decisions around posts seem best for me.

I hope you choose to keep this site open because I think it has helped a great many people -- myself included.

Everyone -- Wishing you all the best and that we remember how blessed we are when we have support in each other.

 

[SuZir]

I'm certainly not threatening you or this site with any legal actions. I of course do hope you have taken legal aspects into account before altering our posts but I do take your word for it. I have absolutely no wishes to take any legal actions against you or this board. I may hope that you reconsider your decision to alter our words if you feel it may be a violation of your laws, but I will certainly not press the issue any further especially if I'm allowed to edit my old messages to remove the changes I find offensive (or even if I'm not.)

 

[Nomad]

It's funny that at first I didn't like the term difficult child because I was already pretty upset with my Higher Power for my situation and didn't want to think of it as a "gift". Now, I've gotten accustomed to it and although I still don't think of it as any "gift," it has grown on me as a term of endearment associated with my "difficult child" and special to this site.

We can always use spaces, as in difficult child. This would work for me. And I never liked P C at all. So, I think I could just figure out something else to say for my other child who doesn't have issues.

 

[Signorina]

Just going on record to state that I hate the change and I agree that it's in poor form to apply the changes retroactively to posts. I also do not feel that "Difficult child" is interchangeable with or an acceptable substitution for "difficult child" To a lesser extent, I feel the same way about "easy child" translating to perfect child.

While I realize the acronyms originated from an actual phrase, their definition and meaning is far evolved from the original tag line.

To be frank, I type LOL a lot, but very rarely have I actually "laughed out loud" whilst doing so.

That said, it's your site to do with as you please

 

[Signorina]

Even using quotes around difficult child and P C did not prevent the automatic change so now my post makes no sense. I wrongly assumed that since the "acronyms" appeared in the text box "pre post" that they would post as written.

it's very disquieting to have my post/words changed AFTER hitting the "post" button and makes me feel uneasy especially since posts can't be edited. I appreciate your right to censor this site - especially for obscene words - would have felt more comfortable were difficult child changed to *** to indicate that my originally written words were changed.

For the record I do not feel that "difficult child" is an acceptable substitute for or interchangeable with difficult child. I also do not feel that P C translates to "easy child" or perfect child. If I had to define my kids, I'd probably call them troubled son and typical son(s). Really, to me -difficult child stood for "the kid who brought you here and makes you struggle as a parent." And it was nice that it was a unique phrase that didn't point a finger at or label our kids as difficult or troubled or addicted or bipolar or spoiled or special needs or narcissistic or violent or abusive or abused or brain damaged or Indigo... Sharing the acronym made us all related, sisters-in-arms if you will. Board aunties et al

 

[Kathy813]

If you do not like your words being changed, just use the first initial when talking about your troubled child/adult.

For heaven's sake, Cheryl spends so much of her time keeping up this site for us. I remember when Fran was going to shut it down. We are lucky that Cheryl came along and rescued the site.

Like Lil said, if you don't like it, stop posting. But don't ruin it for the rest of us who need and value this site.

~Kathy

 

[runawaybunny]

it's very disquieting to have my post/words changed AFTER hitting the "post" button and makes me feel uneasy especially since posts can't be edited.

Posts are editable for 15 minutes. We had to impose the edit time limit a few years ago because spammers were pretending to be real people and then coming back weeks later to edit spam into their posts.

I truly do understand why people will find the retirement of the acronyms disruptive. I do too. difficult child has gone beyond "gift from God" to hold a special meaning that we all understand. Difficult child is generic and simply doesn't fit the definition that we all have in our hearts. I was never very comfortable with the phrase "perfect child" so I personally never chose to use it. I know many of you did and will find that change equally annoying.

Unfortunately no one outside of our community would ever search for difficult child and if they search for p c they would be searching for something about a computer which has nothing to do with our community. If we continue to use these acronyms instead of words that will be understood by everyone we're never going to show up in search results. If we hope to be here 5 years from now we need to show up in search results because that's how struggling parents unaware of our community will find us.

I am very sorry for the disruption but retiring the acronyms is in the long term best interest of this community.