About Anonymity

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by lovemysons, May 9, 2011.

  1. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Well I am learning the hard way NOT to post first names of my difficult children their girlfriend/wife or even grandchildren. Found out that through my young difficult child that he googles first names and came up with CD posts I had written re his life... Not happy to say the least. I now have Epchap trying to help me delete these posts from sub abuse forum as I don't feel real comfortable posting in entirety right now.

    Anyway just thought I'd give you all a heads up on why some of my posts are missing and also hopefully others can learn from my mistake.

    Tammy
     
  2. dashcat

    dashcat Member

    Oh my gosh! I had no idea you could find that by googling. I've never posted our first names but I do think if difficult child stumbled on this forum (unlikely to say the least ... my computer and all accounts are password protected and I dont' speak to her about cd or related issues), she'd recognize my sn.
    Dash
     
  3. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Dash - all she has to do is google your user name. Try it.
     
  4. svengandhi

    svengandhi Well-Known Member

    Oh, my. Your difficult child must have a very uncommon name if he can google his first name and find himself. None of my kids has that unusual a name but I have never listed them on the net because I have 5 and that, with a name, could be an identifying factor.

    I've googled my kids. difficult child has the same first and last name as a convicted murderer who's been profiled on one of the crime shows! My D has the same name as a male African-American sports figure. Kind of makes you wonder...

    Perhaps you could just change their names or use only initials - harder to google? It would be a shame to lose your venting place.
     
  5. dashcat

    dashcat Member

    Well, my user name isn't as unique as I thought (thank the Lord!). Three pages into google and no hits that were actually me ... but lots of hits for the name. The reason she'd likely recognize it (if she saw it that is ... but wouldn't think of it on her own) is we had a cat many years ago named Dash. We always referred to himas Difficult Child or Dashcat. Kitty passed over the rainbow bridge about 15 years ago so she probably wouldn't think of it without help.

    Whew! Dodged that one!
     
  6. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    This is the only place I use Witzend, so that helps. Just initials help, too.
     
  7. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I helped get rid of some of the problem posts on PE but I have to say your son is being a total behind. I would be royally teed off. I have used my names and my kids names on here for probably as long as I have been here and they know about it and are fully aware of it and okay with it. When I was sick, they knew exactly where to come. I suppose if they want to google me and see what I say about them they could do it but I doubt they have the interest in doing that. I think I am boring enough in real life. The only reason I have considered changing my profile is because Jamie is now in the police academy but he would go by his first and last name and that isnt Jamie. He is only known as Jamie to family. The only one on here that actually goes by the name I have on here in real life now is Cory. My babies have grown up and started to use their big boy names instead their nicknames. Most likely when Jamie becomes a cop I will take the names of his kids out. Im not worried about him finding me but someone else going after him.
     
  8. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    If Onyxx was interested, she could find it. She knows her board name is Onyxx. She actually picked it.

    BUT - she also knows I talk to you guys a lot. I took her with me to the board gathering in 2009.

    Anyone else? Would have a really hard time, because no one knows Jett, and they'd have to know Weasel, Bubbles, Possum and Squirrel. XH could maybe with Weasel and Possum - but he wouldn't care enough.

    husband knows - but he gets told most of what I post - and if he doesn't like it when I vent about him? Too darned bad.
     
  9. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    I used to have a screenname (not here) that I once googled and discovered a quote I gave for a magazine article back in '95 was on line! OMG - I guess the magazine downloaded older issues and there was my quote. It was so old I had to read through it twice to remember it!

    My family knows I post here, but I do keep my screenname private and clear the cookies. Nowadays I primarily use my iPad and then close the window. I suppose they could find me and this place by going into my favorites list, but I don't think they are that interested, lol. Maybe back in the day when difficult child was a real nosy, tech savvy teenager - but I was VERY careful then. I changed my screenname last year because I thought my H was nosing around and since he was the topic of choice at the time, I thought it best to change my screenname. I like using the acronyms personally all around or the first initials of a person's name.
     
  10. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    My kids have known I use the board for ages. They know my user name......even when I change it, so I'm not going to bother changing it ever again. lol But like I tell them, it's like when they're blowing off steam to a friend, so if there is a chance you're not gonna like what you read..........then don't go snooping. They know that the board isn't just a place I come to for advice and support, but also my place to let down my hair and vent away if need be. They've snooped on occasion.........tough cookies if they didn't like it. (and they weren't always thrilled with what they found)

    Now that they're older with their own kids they're beginning to understand how important a support system is. I'm theirs, but for me due to family being so far ect, all I have is my board family. So they respect that and give me my privacy.
     
  11. seriously

    seriously New Member

    You know I never thought about the fact that I use the same screen name on a couple different boards. So when I googled my unique screen name I came up with posts on all those different boards.

    I don't want people to be able to find the posts for the different boards and know stuff that I haven't chosen to disclose on a given board. I prefer to keep things separate and be the one that decides how much to disclose to people.

    So this was very helpful for me. I have changed my screen name for this board which should take care of that issue for now.

    I won't say what my former name was but I'm sure you will all figure it out. :)

    PJ
     
    Last edited: May 9, 2011
  12. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Guest

    difficult child knows and hates that I post about her on the internet.....tough, don't give me the grief that I need to unload.... :)
     
  13. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    An even bigger problem can come up if there is any police activity in your family. I learned this the hard way with my sister's death. When she went missing I posted here constantly, seeing if any of our Oregon board members would keep an eye out for her. I used her first and last name with a picture because we were trying to find her. Then I also wrote on in subsequent posts about my fear this was a homicide, etc. Guess who found out I was posting about apparently this "top secret" case - even though it was on the news every night - the police. They told me I was breaching the confidentiality of their case, and took me out of being involved in the case. I was devastated to say the least. I had to fly back home to Dallas. And boy was I mad at myself for forgetting that every single thing we write here can be found by absolutely anyone if they need that info.

    In fact I was just thinking this morning that I should take my dogs names off my bios, because all 3 have such unusual names, if someone knew me it would easy to figure out I am Steely. Matt on the other hand - there a million of those - so I am not really worried.
     
  14. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    difficult child only put in his first name his wifes and my grandson all 3 of their names used in the same post. They felt I exploited their business...and it is true that anyone who knows them and only googled all three first names in the google box would know what they've been up to. I am sure hoping we can get all the posts deleted as I tried but there is now no longer an option for me to delete those posts myself.

    I have been a member of this family since 2002 I believe and I do not want to lose the relationship I have here with so many of you let alone the support.

    Lol I should only use LMS too.
    LMS
     
  15. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    A lot of people here know who I am in real life. I don't mind that as much as the other... There are those people in real life, who don't know who I am on the board. So I can post here relatively anonymously.
     
  16. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    LMS did you go in and change there names to xxx yyy and bbb? That should fix it.
     
  17. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Janet I can't there is no longer an "edit" option for those posts. The posts go back to 2008.
    This really stinks as you know stuff has been going on that I would have loved support...but not for now not until Ephchap gets them deleted if she can. I may have to go through site owner don't know.

    LMS
     
  18. runawaybunny

    runawaybunny Guest

    If you send me the specific posts you want edited or deleted it may be faster for me to do it since I have access to the admin panel.

    Just so you know just because we delete the threads that doesn't mean that they won't be archived by search engines and still show up in google or elsewhere. You may want to consider leaving the threads but changing the names within them so that the search engines replace the names you don't want indexed with new ones.

    Let me know if I can help.
     
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