About my Grandson

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Nannie, Jun 11, 2011.

  1. Nannie

    Nannie New Member

    My Grandson is 14 1/2. He has many friends, is excellent in Math and Science, but continues to deficate and urinate in his pants, even in school. Specialists have said it is about his stomach, but no medication has fixed the problem. My son is beyond the point of finding an answer. How can this issue be resolved? In another year he will be entering high school, where his older sister (by 2 yrs.) is active and well known. She will be teased about her brother, once he is discovered. Right now he is in middle school and his friends are very accepting, because he knows them from early childhood
    My question is, has anyone faced this problem, and how did you resolve it?
    His room is also a mess and smells dirty. He has no shame. I saw him leave for a Scout meeting with fresh urine stains on his uniform. It was easier then going to the bathroom even tho he was home.
    HELP. P.S. He is Autistic. Probably mild..He also has issues with texture of various foods.
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Heh. Welcome to the board. I was waiting for you to say he is on the autism spectrum.

    My son is on the spectrum. While he doesn't have bathroom issues, he doesn't care how he looks or smells (we have to pretty much force him to shower). We also need to remind him to change into clean clothes every day. Sometimes he tries to sneak on clothes that he hasn't washed and they smell bad. He is almost eighteen.

    Does your grandson respond to therapy? Maybe somebody can find out why he won't use the bathroom. It could be that he can't tell when he has to go. My guess is that he doesn't care all that much and since everyone is ok with it so far, he doesn't think it's that big of a deal. Whether peers pointing it out to him will help or not, I don't know...Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids are all different. It depends on how aware he is of other people and how much he cares what they think of him. If other kids told my son he smelled bad, I believe he would shower on his own. He doesn't like to get picked on. But, like your grandson, everyone has known him for so long and everyone is nice to him.

    It may be, if the problem doesn't correct itself, that adult diapers can help while your son tries to find a better solution.

    Welcome to the board and keep us posted :)
  3. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    I second the use of the diapers, at least when he is going out in public. If nothing else they will help teach him about social appropriateness. Autistics CAN learn this, but they don't learn it the same way other people do - by osmosis. You have to actively teach it, the way you would teach a new skill in Maths.

    Simply leaving it and expecting him to get the idea over time - it works for 'normal' kids, not autistics. Some autistics potty train early, because they get the idea fast and are VERY good at self-discipline. Others who don't see the point, won't bother until someone DOES give them a reason they value.


  4. ready2run

    ready2run New Member

    mine is 6 and has the same problem. he gets mad when the teachers make him change his pants. i'd say go with the diapers. he needs to be pushed. they are very stubborn and somehow he has learned that it's okay to use your pants. maybe he needs a lesson on germs. maybe he needs to be told continuously that it's gross and why. if other people are letting it slide and he's okay with it then he'll never learn. as for embarassing his sister, i understand that. next year my difficult child will be going to a different school because i don't like how he effects the other kids at school, it's bad enough they have to deal with that at home. his parents should try to get him into a different school. he may not be allowed in school at all if he can't control himself when it comes to the washroom. some schools have a policy where if they can't handle it themselves they can't attend.