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Abused friend
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<blockquote data-quote="hearts and roses" data-source="post: 455436" data-attributes="member: 2211"><p><span style="color: #008080"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #008080"><span style="font-size: 10px">He has consistently had these rages over the years I've known them. He comes from a long line of dysfunction apparently and had refused for years to get help - she has begged him, the kids have begged him. All the kids left asap. I am scared of what will happen when there are no kids left and she's alone in the house with him. </span></span></p><p><span style="color: #008080"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #008080"><span style="font-size: 10px">My H has done work for him as a subcontractor several times and I finally made H promise me he would no longer work with this guy - he rages at his laborers. One time, he and H had a disagreement on the phone about a job they were working on. Within MINUTES this guy was stomping up our backyard looking like a locomotive with steam coming out his ears, like a cartoon. H went out to speak with him - didn't want him in the house with me and the girls. They argued, H remained firm, and finally he seemed to calm down and left. If one small thing pisses him off, he grabs hold of that anger, nurses it all day and rages at his family for DAYS. And he says embarrassing things in front of company, like picking on my friend about her weight or spending habits or parenting skills. When one of the kids ever did anything wrong, it was her fault. And actually, her kids, compared to many kids, were angels growing up - always in advanced honors classes, always involved in extra curricular things like drama and community service, etc. I've met my friend for coffee and he will sometimes call her screaming because he can't find something in his office. A couple of months ago, we met for coffee and went into the Kohls nearby first. Within minutes her cell rang - it was him asking where she was. I heard her tell him where she was and using me as an excuse for being in there. I asked her why and she said, "Because I know he's sitting outside and he wanted to see if I would lie to him". Scared the bejeezuz out of me. Sure enough, when we left the store (after she put back the item she was going to buy but didn't dare) there he was walking (stalking) towards us. I ignored him, had my friend get in my car and said, "Ciao!" and pulled away. We sat for coffee and I glanced out the window and there he was pulling away. I mean, wth? </span></span></p><p><span style="color: #008080"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #008080"><span style="font-size: 10px">His behavior is not new, but from what I knew in the past, it seems to have severely escalated. I don't know if it's related to the coronary issue, as his big health scare was high blood pressure and cholesterol. I know a lot of people with his levels and they aren't nuts. I suffer from chronic pain and be a real meanie at times, but please, not that bad. I have heard that many people with untreated BiPolar (BP) become worse in middle age but I don't know if that's true or not. He stopped drinking and started dieting and exercising about 2 months ago.</span></span></p><p><span style="color: #008080"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #008080"><span style="font-size: 10px">CV - here they publish names, ages and streets as well as what the charge was. It's nuts to me. Talk about suppressing the victim's rights.</span></span></p><p><span style="color: #008080"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #008080"><span style="font-size: 10px">I have spoken with her about speaking with her therapist, but I will encourage her to speak with a DV specialist or perhaps a new therapist - I don't think this one is very effective, I've met her and we ended up going with someone else. Thank you for all the great encouragement and advice. I have to tread carefully.</span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearts and roses, post: 455436, member: 2211"] [COLOR=#008080][SIZE=2] He has consistently had these rages over the years I've known them. He comes from a long line of dysfunction apparently and had refused for years to get help - she has begged him, the kids have begged him. All the kids left asap. I am scared of what will happen when there are no kids left and she's alone in the house with him. My H has done work for him as a subcontractor several times and I finally made H promise me he would no longer work with this guy - he rages at his laborers. One time, he and H had a disagreement on the phone about a job they were working on. Within MINUTES this guy was stomping up our backyard looking like a locomotive with steam coming out his ears, like a cartoon. H went out to speak with him - didn't want him in the house with me and the girls. They argued, H remained firm, and finally he seemed to calm down and left. If one small thing pisses him off, he grabs hold of that anger, nurses it all day and rages at his family for DAYS. And he says embarrassing things in front of company, like picking on my friend about her weight or spending habits or parenting skills. When one of the kids ever did anything wrong, it was her fault. And actually, her kids, compared to many kids, were angels growing up - always in advanced honors classes, always involved in extra curricular things like drama and community service, etc. I've met my friend for coffee and he will sometimes call her screaming because he can't find something in his office. A couple of months ago, we met for coffee and went into the Kohls nearby first. Within minutes her cell rang - it was him asking where she was. I heard her tell him where she was and using me as an excuse for being in there. I asked her why and she said, "Because I know he's sitting outside and he wanted to see if I would lie to him". Scared the bejeezuz out of me. Sure enough, when we left the store (after she put back the item she was going to buy but didn't dare) there he was walking (stalking) towards us. I ignored him, had my friend get in my car and said, "Ciao!" and pulled away. We sat for coffee and I glanced out the window and there he was pulling away. I mean, wth? His behavior is not new, but from what I knew in the past, it seems to have severely escalated. I don't know if it's related to the coronary issue, as his big health scare was high blood pressure and cholesterol. I know a lot of people with his levels and they aren't nuts. I suffer from chronic pain and be a real meanie at times, but please, not that bad. I have heard that many people with untreated BiPolar (BP) become worse in middle age but I don't know if that's true or not. He stopped drinking and started dieting and exercising about 2 months ago. CV - here they publish names, ages and streets as well as what the charge was. It's nuts to me. Talk about suppressing the victim's rights. I have spoken with her about speaking with her therapist, but I will encourage her to speak with a DV specialist or perhaps a new therapist - I don't think this one is very effective, I've met her and we ended up going with someone else. Thank you for all the great encouragement and advice. I have to tread carefully.[/SIZE][/COLOR] [/QUOTE]
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