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Abused friend
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<blockquote data-quote="hearts and roses" data-source="post: 455558" data-attributes="member: 2211"><p><span style="color: #008080"><span style="font-size: 10px">Well, apparently he wrote her a lovely email and they talked about forgiveness and moving on and blah blah blah.</span></span></p><p><span style="color: #008080"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #008080"><span style="font-size: 10px">I have been praying for her to gain strength - no so much for him to change, because I don't think he will/can. I know she has the strength to take better care for herself - but it is frustrating to stand by and see her close her eyes - AGAIN. </span></span></p><p><span style="color: #008080"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #008080"><span style="font-size: 10px">I met with my friend this morning for coffee and I also wanted to see that she was okay. She seemed physically okay, so that was a relief. However, she told me all about their talk and the email he sent and that he admitted that there is something wrong - now he's blaming his behavior on the statin medications and his son coming out of the closet, everything else but himself. And although he told her last night he 'forgives' her for her small transgression back over 29 years ago, this morning he asked her if she would take a lie detector test. So, obviously, everything he said last night was BS. I told her that he is still manipulating her and making her believe that she's at fault here for HIS behavior. I asked her what she said about the lie detector test and she said that she told him "if it will make you feel better, yes I will take the test" - UUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHHH. I get so freakin angry (at her for acquiescing & him for manipulating her into believing she's guilty of anything). I asked her if she told him he should take one for her as well...I mean, how many times has he cheated on her over the course of their marriage - he most recent emotional affair with his HS sweetheart not even a year ago! My God. </span></span></p><p><span style="color: #008080"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #008080"><span style="font-size: 10px">I had to bite my tongue at some point. I told I'm there for her, I told her that I believe he will not change, that he will continue to manipulate her so he can excuse his poor bullying (yes Lisa!) behavior and that I am worried for her. But then I had to stop talking and literally bite my tongue because I didn't want to come on too strong and risk pushing her away - she will pull away from me now for a couple of weeks because in a moment of weakness she told me everything and now she's angry with herself for spilling and also, for all I know, he probably told her she should not be hanging out their dirty laundry for all to see - that is the kind of thing he would do: make her feel guilty when he's the guilty party.</span></span></p><p><span style="color: #008080"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #008080"><span style="font-size: 10px">Anyway, thanks for all the support - I feel defeated.</span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearts and roses, post: 455558, member: 2211"] [COLOR=#008080][SIZE=2]Well, apparently he wrote her a lovely email and they talked about forgiveness and moving on and blah blah blah. I have been praying for her to gain strength - no so much for him to change, because I don't think he will/can. I know she has the strength to take better care for herself - but it is frustrating to stand by and see her close her eyes - AGAIN. I met with my friend this morning for coffee and I also wanted to see that she was okay. She seemed physically okay, so that was a relief. However, she told me all about their talk and the email he sent and that he admitted that there is something wrong - now he's blaming his behavior on the statin medications and his son coming out of the closet, everything else but himself. And although he told her last night he 'forgives' her for her small transgression back over 29 years ago, this morning he asked her if she would take a lie detector test. So, obviously, everything he said last night was BS. I told her that he is still manipulating her and making her believe that she's at fault here for HIS behavior. I asked her what she said about the lie detector test and she said that she told him "if it will make you feel better, yes I will take the test" - UUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHHH. I get so freakin angry (at her for acquiescing & him for manipulating her into believing she's guilty of anything). I asked her if she told him he should take one for her as well...I mean, how many times has he cheated on her over the course of their marriage - he most recent emotional affair with his HS sweetheart not even a year ago! My God. I had to bite my tongue at some point. I told I'm there for her, I told her that I believe he will not change, that he will continue to manipulate her so he can excuse his poor bullying (yes Lisa!) behavior and that I am worried for her. But then I had to stop talking and literally bite my tongue because I didn't want to come on too strong and risk pushing her away - she will pull away from me now for a couple of weeks because in a moment of weakness she told me everything and now she's angry with herself for spilling and also, for all I know, he probably told her she should not be hanging out their dirty laundry for all to see - that is the kind of thing he would do: make her feel guilty when he's the guilty party. Anyway, thanks for all the support - I feel defeated.[/SIZE][/COLOR] [/QUOTE]
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