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Abused friend
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<blockquote data-quote="donna723" data-source="post: 455581" data-attributes="member: 1883"><p>Yes, that follows the pattern exactly! The outrageous behavior followed by half-hearted apologies, followed by more outrageous behavior and more luke warm apologies ...</p><p></p><p>When you're seeing these behaviors as an outsider it makes no sense to you that anyone could live this way. But the thing of it is, when you're in a long-term abusive relationship like this, when you've heard these things over and over again for so many years, you really do believe that it is all YOUR fault! You think that you're not good enough, you think that if you could just live up to all his expectations and demands, then everything would be OK again. Hard to understand if you've never been through it yourself. You don't even necessarily want to end the relationship, you just want everything to be OK again, and it's not gonna happen! She may realize this in her own good time and she may not, but it is very hard for friends and family to watch. She did confide in you which is very good. Women in these kinds of relationships usually go to great lengths to keep it a deep dark secret because they feel so much shame and humiliation and they think it is all their fault. If you have the chance and you think she might be receptive, I hope you continue to encourage her to contact a domestic violence group.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="donna723, post: 455581, member: 1883"] Yes, that follows the pattern exactly! The outrageous behavior followed by half-hearted apologies, followed by more outrageous behavior and more luke warm apologies ... When you're seeing these behaviors as an outsider it makes no sense to you that anyone could live this way. But the thing of it is, when you're in a long-term abusive relationship like this, when you've heard these things over and over again for so many years, you really do believe that it is all YOUR fault! You think that you're not good enough, you think that if you could just live up to all his expectations and demands, then everything would be OK again. Hard to understand if you've never been through it yourself. You don't even necessarily want to end the relationship, you just want everything to be OK again, and it's not gonna happen! She may realize this in her own good time and she may not, but it is very hard for friends and family to watch. She did confide in you which is very good. Women in these kinds of relationships usually go to great lengths to keep it a deep dark secret because they feel so much shame and humiliation and they think it is all their fault. If you have the chance and you think she might be receptive, I hope you continue to encourage her to contact a domestic violence group. [/QUOTE]
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