Accentuating the positive

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Malika, Jan 29, 2012.

  1. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    Our difficult children bring us so much heartache and challenge, in greater or lesser degrees. I wanted to ask - what are your difficult child's qualities and strengths? They don't get much air-time here and yet it feels important to appreciate those things, amid much that is difficult.
    To start the ball rolling, this is what I love about J (good to think, and remind myself, also!)

    He is SO affectionate and loving.
    He has a great sense of humour.
    He likes to help (well, within reason...)
    He is very sensitive.
    He is INCREDIBLY perceptive, noticing small details that constantly escape me.
    He is talented at knowing how things come apart and go back together.
    He tries hard to be good (yes, he really does - and I never realised this until recently.)

    There'd be other things but this is what springs to mind straightaway.

    What makes your difficult children unique and valuable?
  2. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Travis - Never gives up, never takes the easy road. You'd never guess it from looking at him but he has a lovely musical talent. He picked up the clarinet and Indian flute and basically just began to play them. I remember how mad that made easy child who'd spent hours upon hours practicing her violin. The boy can't see or organize, but somehow can still make computer games "just for fun". He may be a fairly "out of sight out of mind" due to the autism, but still, whenever he's needed he's quietly just there.

    Nichole - Has an uncanny way with animals that is downright spooky. She is very creative if she lets go of her inhibitions of her abilities and feels instead of thinks. If she wants to do something bad enough she'll find a way to make it happen. Tender-hearted, yet is not afraid to get in your face and tell you exactly how it is or how she feels. She can cook anything, and is d@mn good at it. She's both a very loving and very firm parent. She can cook you up homemade waffles for breakfast, grow your food for supper, and change your brakes on the car all in the same day. lol

    These types of threads are a good way to remember the positive aspects of our difficult children. :) What I find interesting is that whenever it is posted to do so again, I find that I have more to list about them than the last time.
  3. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    difficult child 1-He's very good at working with his hands. He loves to help with the "manly" chores. He's smart. He's GREAT with animals. He has a wonderful sense of humor.

    difficult child 2-He CAN be so mature. He is obsessively responsible. He is very appropriately sociable (with adults). He is kind and caring (except toward his brother).

    Thanks for starting this Malika. I don't think of these things often enough. I had to REALLY think HARD to come up with things for difficult child 1.
  4. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Q is a survivor. He is so funny sometimes and he will try and try again. When he is excited about something it is so over the top that even if it is not your interest, you WILL want to know more, LOL. He teaches us all lessons, about acceptance, patience, love.
  5. HMBgal

    HMBgal Active Member

    That sounds so much like my five year-old grandson! Oh, and like your difficult child, incredibly handsome. People are always saying how gorgeous this kid is. And to that I say "Good thing!" His sweetness and affectionate nature is our favorite quality, along with his sensitivity to other people's moods.
    He's an amazing reader and is the best reader in his K/1 class. The teacher lets him read to the class once a week, which makes him so proud.
    He is so kind, protective, and helpful to his younger easy child sister (easy child but she IS three---argh). He is more patient with her than we are. We'll get to the end of our tethers with her histrionics about something or other, and he'll say "You need to shush now. I'll go to the bookshelf with you and help you find a good book." And our hearts all melt, and she does indeed shush and get a book. Shoot, why didn't I think of that?!

    I love this thread!
  6. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Oh my depends on the time in his life where his strengths might lie.

    But at this point he is suddenly turning to his own self for advice and guidance instead of trying to always extract it from others. He is growing a back bone towards himself, and requiring that he do certain things in order for advancement in this world we live in.
    Ahhhh, I think it is called self discipline :)
    But this is a first for him - and I am so very happy that he is finally finding it.

    In general Matt is the most intuitive perceptive individual I have ever met. When he was 10 he told me that my fiancee had "bad eyes" and that I shouldn't marry him. You have no idea how accurate that simple statement was -- had I only taken his advice. He still has that gift - he can look at any one thing and state it for what it is - it is almost scary. Where we muddle around in what ifs and should haves - he sees straight through to the truth. I value that.

    And funny - incredibly funny. Adores animals. Sweet, loving, and quite opinionated about things that matter :)
    I love him.
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2012
  7. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    difficult child is so incredibly empathetic. He would give someone who was upset the shirt off his back. He definitely doesn't like to see people sad (unless he has caused their sadness). His sense of humor is incredible. He loves to laugh and giggle and is able to laugh at himself.

    easy child/difficult child is very smart and has an amazing sense of humor. She too can laugh at herself. She loves to read and watch movies. She definitely takes after husband with the love of movies. The two of them can sit and talk directors, acting, etc... I believe once she finds what she wants to do for a career she will be outstanding in whatever field she chooses.
  8. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    difficult child is honest.....sometimes he does not perceive things the right way, but he tells it as he sees it. He is helpful, he likes to help other kids and adults. He can be very polite too. He had a great sense of humor.

    easy child/difficult child is soooooooooo smart. She has amazing morals, and will stand up for them to anyone. She is sensitive and caring.
  9. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    This is a great thread thread, but it definitely belongs in General rather than WC. Moving it now.
  10. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    All these people sound so wonderful :) May their lives come to good fruition.
  11. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    I like this thread...

    Young difficult child: Tender hearted, very creative, sensitive, intense thinker (not doer, lol) emotional, what you see is what you get usually. Probably my funniest child!

    Oldest difficult child: A doer (very hard-working), leader, outgoing, charming, smart silly-funny, sober.

    easy child: Insightful, A caregiver to all, smart, kind-hearted, gentle yet strong

  12. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    What a great thread. I love "hearing" about all of the wonderful things about our difficult children. My difficult child is an amazingly talented writer. She won first place in a regional contest last year, and first place in a contest at the H.S. this year. All though we are not seeing it right now, she is very smart. difficult child has a real connection to animals. The most fearful and aggressive dogs that we have fostered open up to her. difficult child also has a very natural riding ability. After one month of English riding lessons, she is where most girls are after a year and a half. She rode western like she was born on a horse.

    It is so good to write all of this down. When I am in the middle of her gfgness, I can come back here, look at this, and remind myself that she is more than her gfgness.
  13. ready2run

    ready2run New Member

    difficult child is definitely persistant. he remembers everything, not always the way it happened but his own way. he is so enthusiastic with his play, and in sharing the things that bring him joy. he is playful. he is sooo forgiving. and he is almost always willing to try again when he fails, which is so often i'm not sure i could just keep trying and trying like that when nothing works.