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General Parenting
Acceptance is oh so hard.........
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<blockquote data-quote="1 Day At a Time" data-source="post: 286293" data-attributes="member: 3704"><p>Many hugs to you Fuddleduddledee !</p><p></p><p>I'm in there with you. My difficult child is 17, almost 18. After many years of searching for help, we finally got his Asperger's diagnosis a couple of years ago. I believe this went on for so long because we live in such a small community and his "differences" were simply accepted and tolerated by the school officials - not his peers , though, that's another story.</p><p></p><p>It's been quite an emotional journey for us the last couple of years. My focus is now is for future planning for difficult child after husband and I are gone. We're older parents, and this is a genuine concern. We're having lots of tentative discussions with difficult child about this process, we all have a long way to go there, but at least we have begun!</p><p></p><p>I agree with everything that has been said to you - wonderful advice. Marg's thoughts are just so true. I imagine that your difficult child is a lot like ours - he's so honest and loyal. He is truly a beautiful human being! Our easy child recently said of him, in admiration," he's always in a "Zen" state. He's so focussed. He just doesn't worry about small things."</p><p></p><p>Last week, when I came home from work, difficult child walked up to me , gave me a big hug and asked me "how was your day Mom?". This is such a milestone. He has never voluntarily hugged me - he gets several hugs a day from us - but it's something that we have always had to work on. I say this to note that I think our kids are on a different maturational wave length. There is much hope. Their lives will never fit into the "average, normal" template. But that has become ok, more than ok, with me. They will be who they are, and offer what they have to the world, and that is a beautiful thing.</p><p></p><p>I'm wiping away my tears now.... and hoping this wasn't too sappy for you <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> </p><p></p><p>Valerie</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="1 Day At a Time, post: 286293, member: 3704"] Many hugs to you Fuddleduddledee ! I'm in there with you. My difficult child is 17, almost 18. After many years of searching for help, we finally got his Asperger's diagnosis a couple of years ago. I believe this went on for so long because we live in such a small community and his "differences" were simply accepted and tolerated by the school officials - not his peers , though, that's another story. It's been quite an emotional journey for us the last couple of years. My focus is now is for future planning for difficult child after husband and I are gone. We're older parents, and this is a genuine concern. We're having lots of tentative discussions with difficult child about this process, we all have a long way to go there, but at least we have begun! I agree with everything that has been said to you - wonderful advice. Marg's thoughts are just so true. I imagine that your difficult child is a lot like ours - he's so honest and loyal. He is truly a beautiful human being! Our easy child recently said of him, in admiration," he's always in a "Zen" state. He's so focussed. He just doesn't worry about small things." Last week, when I came home from work, difficult child walked up to me , gave me a big hug and asked me "how was your day Mom?". This is such a milestone. He has never voluntarily hugged me - he gets several hugs a day from us - but it's something that we have always had to work on. I say this to note that I think our kids are on a different maturational wave length. There is much hope. Their lives will never fit into the "average, normal" template. But that has become ok, more than ok, with me. They will be who they are, and offer what they have to the world, and that is a beautiful thing. I'm wiping away my tears now.... and hoping this wasn't too sappy for you :) Valerie [/QUOTE]
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