From time to time, I have had to almost "talk to myself" to understand that my children are different than myself. This has often gone "double" for my difficult child. Many times, these things are in areas that really are unimportant. For example, difficult child dresses in a manner that is VERY different than the way I dress. This is really unimportant...not a big deal at all. I do ask her to think about how she dresses in terms of job interviews and the interesting thing is that by and large, she does that! I think it wise. But, I don't pay any attention to her personal preferences and when and where I can, I pay her compliments. I think our children, even our adult children, need to feel their independence/individuality. Today, I received this and I thought it was wonderful: Today's thought from Hazelden is: [FONT=georgia,palatino]Love is the ability and willingness to allow those that you care for to be what they choose for themselves, without any insistence that they satisfy you.[/FONT] --Dr. Wayne Dyer It's generally a struggle to let a child develop a new skill, particularly if it's not one we share or appreciate. It's even more difficult to watch a spouse or lover travel a new path of learning or recreation when we're not invited to share the trip. Yet assuredly, our love is only as deep and real as it is honestly supportive of others spreading their wings to discover their own directions and personal joy. by the way, I don't mean for this to be an "acceptance" of inappropriate/hurtful or illegal behavior. That is a different subject.