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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 651305" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>Ache has always known how to keep a secret. From us, from others. When he was young, we never had an idea how bad things were at school and in neighbourhood. How badly he actually was bullied and hurt by other kids. He didn't tell, he lied, he covered things up. And while we did know he did lie, we never really understood how much he lied in the way we were not expecting. I mean, we did suspect he lied when he lied about not having homework, but when he lied that he had broken his bike/jacket/backpack by being careless or when he told he had had a fight with a friend when he had a black eye, we were not at all that suspicious. Or when we really screw up with him and husband ended up to ER with him and him having injuries that would had warranted charges for us and kids being removed, he lied to doctors and nurses so well, they didn't even check him properly (after which no amount of lying would had changed a thing.) And it was almost textbook abuse injury and they didn't even make him take his clothes off. And of course, when he grew bigger, so grew the lies.</p><p></p><p>When I have time with him and we can just be together, just lay on the floor and stare the ceiling and not talk. Or do some simple chores together, that is, when he may actually start talking. Not in the phone or when I try to ask something or have a conversation. But on his own time and phase. Or he may talk to his dad in sauna or at summer on the boat. But he sure as heck is not telling something, when asked or pressured.</p><p></p><p>He will move to new city, new team during in May too. The same he did sign already before Christmas and from which he is loaned to the team he plays for now. But still new place, new people and having to get to used all that. He does have one good friend in the new team, and one former team mate, he does not get along with, but almost all the others are new faces. That too can be the cause for his jadedness, not much reason to bond to anything or anyone for couple of months, just do his job and be done with it. But that too can be tough, not to be connected to anything.</p><p></p><p>I hope the end of the season, being home for a bit, travelling to see his girlfriend, who is currently abroad and having again a new start after that will help him find something to be more connected again. For me, one of the scariest things with him is, when he seems to be so alone, so unconnected, so not caring where he is or if he is at all.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 651305, member: 14557"] Ache has always known how to keep a secret. From us, from others. When he was young, we never had an idea how bad things were at school and in neighbourhood. How badly he actually was bullied and hurt by other kids. He didn't tell, he lied, he covered things up. And while we did know he did lie, we never really understood how much he lied in the way we were not expecting. I mean, we did suspect he lied when he lied about not having homework, but when he lied that he had broken his bike/jacket/backpack by being careless or when he told he had had a fight with a friend when he had a black eye, we were not at all that suspicious. Or when we really screw up with him and husband ended up to ER with him and him having injuries that would had warranted charges for us and kids being removed, he lied to doctors and nurses so well, they didn't even check him properly (after which no amount of lying would had changed a thing.) And it was almost textbook abuse injury and they didn't even make him take his clothes off. And of course, when he grew bigger, so grew the lies. When I have time with him and we can just be together, just lay on the floor and stare the ceiling and not talk. Or do some simple chores together, that is, when he may actually start talking. Not in the phone or when I try to ask something or have a conversation. But on his own time and phase. Or he may talk to his dad in sauna or at summer on the boat. But he sure as heck is not telling something, when asked or pressured. He will move to new city, new team during in May too. The same he did sign already before Christmas and from which he is loaned to the team he plays for now. But still new place, new people and having to get to used all that. He does have one good friend in the new team, and one former team mate, he does not get along with, but almost all the others are new faces. That too can be the cause for his jadedness, not much reason to bond to anything or anyone for couple of months, just do his job and be done with it. But that too can be tough, not to be connected to anything. I hope the end of the season, being home for a bit, travelling to see his girlfriend, who is currently abroad and having again a new start after that will help him find something to be more connected again. For me, one of the scariest things with him is, when he seems to be so alone, so unconnected, so not caring where he is or if he is at all. [/QUOTE]
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