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ADHD 27 Year Old Daughter - Narcissistic?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 725484" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>27 is a woman on the younger side. Most of us were well on our own by then...learning disabilities, ADHD or ABCD. It is not near being a child. I had learning disabilities, neurological differences, a mood disorder and a surly husband at 27 but still worked and took primary care of my son. I had to. No one to save the day. By that age no one SHOULD be saving the day.</p><p></p><p>But some adults continue to act like spoiled little kids.</p><p></p><p>Unless our adults are mentally disabled or disabled to where they can't be mobile enough to work (and with anxiety and depression you can work...I had to) we need to let them do it. My autistic son has always worked. That's a step beyond ADHD.</p><p></p><p>It is kind and compassionate for us to treat our adults like they CAN, even if they won't. Or certain adults never will.</p><p></p><p>If your daughter was truly disabled you would have seen this while she worked for you. I'm sure you made allowances for her, but was she able to catch on and understand and perform her work?</p><p></p><p>If so, she can certainly at least work for McDonald's I'll bet she is brighter than that but any job is a start.</p><p></p><p>Some people really can't work. Most are severely cognitively disabled because even adults with Downs Syndrome can get jobs.</p><p></p><p>Our adult children need us to act as if we know they are capable. And most can do SOMETHING. We also need to be brave enough and kind enough to let them do their own laundry, wash their own dishes, clean their own places, get paying work....or face the consequences of not doing so. Even if it makes us crazy. Its not about us. Its about their futures long after we are gone.</p><p></p><p>I will repeat a story about a man who is roughly 55, never held a job for more than six months or so, has his rather ticked off but enabling sister giving him enough money to live on every month and now his girlfriend is adding to his cash flow. So this can go on forever. And he isn't even nice to those who give him cash. He complains about his sister and is not a loving boyfriend. He is but one example of many people with normal IQs who never grow up and dont have to.</p><p></p><p>Please take care of YOU. Your daughter does not need to turn into this 55 year old man. Don't financially support her. It is kinder to gently force her to grow up emotionally and learn to support herself, even if it is not in the lifestyle in which she was accustomed. Most people are just average folks, working to make it week to week. That is if they work!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 725484, member: 1550"] 27 is a woman on the younger side. Most of us were well on our own by then...learning disabilities, ADHD or ABCD. It is not near being a child. I had learning disabilities, neurological differences, a mood disorder and a surly husband at 27 but still worked and took primary care of my son. I had to. No one to save the day. By that age no one SHOULD be saving the day. But some adults continue to act like spoiled little kids. Unless our adults are mentally disabled or disabled to where they can't be mobile enough to work (and with anxiety and depression you can work...I had to) we need to let them do it. My autistic son has always worked. That's a step beyond ADHD. It is kind and compassionate for us to treat our adults like they CAN, even if they won't. Or certain adults never will. If your daughter was truly disabled you would have seen this while she worked for you. I'm sure you made allowances for her, but was she able to catch on and understand and perform her work? If so, she can certainly at least work for McDonald's I'll bet she is brighter than that but any job is a start. Some people really can't work. Most are severely cognitively disabled because even adults with Downs Syndrome can get jobs. Our adult children need us to act as if we know they are capable. And most can do SOMETHING. We also need to be brave enough and kind enough to let them do their own laundry, wash their own dishes, clean their own places, get paying work....or face the consequences of not doing so. Even if it makes us crazy. Its not about us. Its about their futures long after we are gone. I will repeat a story about a man who is roughly 55, never held a job for more than six months or so, has his rather ticked off but enabling sister giving him enough money to live on every month and now his girlfriend is adding to his cash flow. So this can go on forever. And he isn't even nice to those who give him cash. He complains about his sister and is not a loving boyfriend. He is but one example of many people with normal IQs who never grow up and dont have to. Please take care of YOU. Your daughter does not need to turn into this 55 year old man. Don't financially support her. It is kinder to gently force her to grow up emotionally and learn to support herself, even if it is not in the lifestyle in which she was accustomed. Most people are just average folks, working to make it week to week. That is if they work! [/QUOTE]
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