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ADHD and my 3 year old
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 132812" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Jamie, I think you are wise to be cautious, especially about the diagnosis. "difficult child" = "Gift From God". There is a list of abbreviations, browse around the site and you will find what you need.</p><p></p><p>Your son and where you are right ow with him sounds very familiar - difficult child 3 (check my code on my sig at the bottom of my message) is actually very smart, but when he was assessed at age 4, he tested as "borderline". It was the polite way of saying he was retarded. The reason he did so badly - his language delay at the time was bad enough to make it hard for him to understand what he was being asked. Please keep an open mind with test results that rely on your child having a certain level with language - because language delay is not always related to being 'slow' intellectually. It certainly wasn't in our case.</p><p></p><p>If you can, have a look at Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) (aka "Pervasive Development Disorder"). Your son seems to have a constellation of symptoms which make a number of diagnoses possible, including Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD). And if so, it responds to a different way of handling, a different point of view. It's also not the devastating news it would have been considered in times past.</p><p></p><p>Check out <a href="http://www.childbrain.com" target="_blank">www.childbrain.com</a> and look for their Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) questionnaire. It's not officially diagnostic, only a specialist can diagnose, but it can give you some idea on what sort of things to mention to that specialist. You can print out the test and take it to the doctor for his opinion.</p><p></p><p>difficult child 3 was clearly more than ADHD when we realised there was a problem - the language delay was obvious - he just wasn't talking, or "talking in scribble" as his sister called it. But he was reading. Words, numbers, sheet music. We had various services offering to assess him, and then they pulled away when they discovered what he COULD do, saying, "We can't help, we can only help if he is developmentally delayed, and he would test out as normal because of his skills." And so we were in limbo, getting no assessment, no help. The pediatrician diagnosed the autism, it was later confirmed, but along with the "borderline" label and us being told, "He will never be able to attend a normal school. He will always be dependent. Maybe in a couple of years you can consider some sort of special school for him."</p><p></p><p>The outcome is very different - he has been winning awards at school for academic achievement, although last year he had much stiffer competition. He attends a mainstream correspondence school.</p><p></p><p>Keep an open mind re your child. And try to not let it get you down - life is an adventure, if you make his environment as stimulating and interesting for him as possible, you are doing the best for him that you can. This doesn't mean filling his life with distractions and driving him crazy with noise and light - just give him access to the things he likes to do, encourage him to learn, expose him to a range of experiences, document it all in photographs and journals and read them together.</p><p></p><p>With medications - some people delay medicating. Some do not. Some continue medications without break (such as us). Others do not. We each make our decisions based on our own concerns for our children and our own understanding - you have to become an expert on your child so you can make informed decisions. In general, whatever you choose for your child, based on your own understanding, is the right thing. Learn to have faith in yourself.</p><p></p><p>We are glad now, that we began to medicate difficult child 3 when we did. It made an amazing difference. However, this decision was based on our experiences and our own sense of "we've got to do something, doing nothing is not working for us." Also we'd had prior experience with stims (older son) and also had the benefit of a specialist diagnose the lad.</p><p></p><p>I don't think you're in the same place as we were at that point. Not jut yet.</p><p></p><p>I'm so glad he's getting that extra evaluation. I hope he surprises you, but also they're able to find the information you all need, so you can know where to go from here.</p><p></p><p>And living on an island - it's lovely. Ours is attached, it's a peninsula surrounded by wild forests with a very long road access, like a 30 km long cul-de-sac! And lots of estuary and ocean beaches, so we teach kids to swim as best we can. Apart from a small elementary school, the kids have to catch the boat to school.</p><p></p><p>Use your environment to teach your child, immerse him in it and enjoy your son. This can be such a lovely time for you, disability or no. Just have fun! And pack a camera, and note pad...</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 132812, member: 1991"] Jamie, I think you are wise to be cautious, especially about the diagnosis. "difficult child" = "Gift From God". There is a list of abbreviations, browse around the site and you will find what you need. Your son and where you are right ow with him sounds very familiar - difficult child 3 (check my code on my sig at the bottom of my message) is actually very smart, but when he was assessed at age 4, he tested as "borderline". It was the polite way of saying he was retarded. The reason he did so badly - his language delay at the time was bad enough to make it hard for him to understand what he was being asked. Please keep an open mind with test results that rely on your child having a certain level with language - because language delay is not always related to being 'slow' intellectually. It certainly wasn't in our case. If you can, have a look at Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) (aka "Pervasive Development Disorder"). Your son seems to have a constellation of symptoms which make a number of diagnoses possible, including Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD). And if so, it responds to a different way of handling, a different point of view. It's also not the devastating news it would have been considered in times past. Check out [url]www.childbrain.com[/url] and look for their Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) questionnaire. It's not officially diagnostic, only a specialist can diagnose, but it can give you some idea on what sort of things to mention to that specialist. You can print out the test and take it to the doctor for his opinion. difficult child 3 was clearly more than ADHD when we realised there was a problem - the language delay was obvious - he just wasn't talking, or "talking in scribble" as his sister called it. But he was reading. Words, numbers, sheet music. We had various services offering to assess him, and then they pulled away when they discovered what he COULD do, saying, "We can't help, we can only help if he is developmentally delayed, and he would test out as normal because of his skills." And so we were in limbo, getting no assessment, no help. The pediatrician diagnosed the autism, it was later confirmed, but along with the "borderline" label and us being told, "He will never be able to attend a normal school. He will always be dependent. Maybe in a couple of years you can consider some sort of special school for him." The outcome is very different - he has been winning awards at school for academic achievement, although last year he had much stiffer competition. He attends a mainstream correspondence school. Keep an open mind re your child. And try to not let it get you down - life is an adventure, if you make his environment as stimulating and interesting for him as possible, you are doing the best for him that you can. This doesn't mean filling his life with distractions and driving him crazy with noise and light - just give him access to the things he likes to do, encourage him to learn, expose him to a range of experiences, document it all in photographs and journals and read them together. With medications - some people delay medicating. Some do not. Some continue medications without break (such as us). Others do not. We each make our decisions based on our own concerns for our children and our own understanding - you have to become an expert on your child so you can make informed decisions. In general, whatever you choose for your child, based on your own understanding, is the right thing. Learn to have faith in yourself. We are glad now, that we began to medicate difficult child 3 when we did. It made an amazing difference. However, this decision was based on our experiences and our own sense of "we've got to do something, doing nothing is not working for us." Also we'd had prior experience with stims (older son) and also had the benefit of a specialist diagnose the lad. I don't think you're in the same place as we were at that point. Not jut yet. I'm so glad he's getting that extra evaluation. I hope he surprises you, but also they're able to find the information you all need, so you can know where to go from here. And living on an island - it's lovely. Ours is attached, it's a peninsula surrounded by wild forests with a very long road access, like a 30 km long cul-de-sac! And lots of estuary and ocean beaches, so we teach kids to swim as best we can. Apart from a small elementary school, the kids have to catch the boat to school. Use your environment to teach your child, immerse him in it and enjoy your son. This can be such a lovely time for you, disability or no. Just have fun! And pack a camera, and note pad... Marg [/QUOTE]
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