My 9 year old is on a waiting list for psychiatric help. He's working with our local family center and Sick Kid's Toronto (Dr. J). He was diagnosis'ed with ADHD\Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) in early childhood years and Dr. J is now saying there is more than that, learning disabled (hard wired due to being 3 months premature), possibly ODD and has impulse and rage control problems. I'm hearing impaired so micro expressions and body language are everything to me. I use my eyes like you would all use your ears. I watch him when I request politely for a rule to be followed or redirect or ask for him to complete a chore and I see contempt, disgust and anger even when I am politely and respectfully asking for compliance. It doesn't take much to set him off at all. I can just look at him and he goes off. He harps on something, calls me names and physically and verbally abuses me (not so much, though a little bit, with my husband). What makes this more exhausting is there are two other special needs children in the house hold too. I have an autistic 4 year old with severe speech delays and hearing impaired like I am and a cardiac child (3 year old, 2 month preemie). I'm also disabled, hearing impaired, fibro, myofascal syndrome with chronic costochondritis and MVP (also immuno compromised). I can't physically remove him from a situation. I can see the disgust on his face for me, the disdain and contempt. I see the sadness for being labelled by the schools and friends and the frustration from that. All of it breaks my heart, utterly and wholly. I just don't know what to do for him. He's on waiting lists and I'm scared for him. What more do they want from him, us as a family out there in society? I hate that people label him, that the school does nothing until a prominent psychiatrist tells them to get off their arses and do something. His mood swings are becoming severe, I think he's also depressed and very angry - rage filled even. Where's that little boy I knew who used to be a clown and could make me laugh even if I wanted to cry - I feel like he hates me and I don't know why he does. I feel like I'm whining all the time about it, I'm doing the best I can here but I don't think my best is cutting it at all.