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Adopted Son's (8) behaviour is concerning. Where to next?
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 640022" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>Welcome, Worried Daddy.</p><p>Yes, your son really, really sounds like he's on the spectrum. And ADHD is a symptom, as well as a cause . It is neurological.</p><p>I love your bullet list. Perfect descriptions. Strangling the girl sounds impulsive to me. "I feel like strangling her" so ... I do. Why? Don't know. I wanted to at the time.</p><p>Hoarding and taking things to bed? That's my son.</p><p>No friends? Yep. He'll come home with-a few friends eventually and I'll guarantee you ... they'll be on the spectrum as well.</p><p>Stubble on the face? I'd suggest you and your wife take turns "brushing" his back to take the place of the face rubbing. I just use my fingernails lightly and it's not as good, but I can guarantee my son will fall asleep in no time when I do the pattern on his back. Here's a link to one. I'm sure you can find something closer. <a href="http://www.therapyshoppe.com/category/7-brushes-tactile-tools" target="_blank">http://www.therapyshoppe.com/category/7-brushes-tactile-tools</a></p><p>Lack of hygiene? Ohhhh yeah! I finally bought Wet Wipes for my son to use in the bathroom, because he'd get stuff on his hands if he missed with the toilet paper ... and wipe it on the walls. This was in middle school. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /> He is much better now.</p><p>AND the MIRACLE is ... he has a girlfriend. Of course, she's "off" too but they have been together for over 2 yrs. Amazing.</p><p>(And she has hygiene issues in her own way. And serious boundary issues.)</p><p>Oh, speaking of boundary issues, I totally agree with-the others here--Aspies think differently and can convince themselves of the "rightness" of something when it's blatantly wrong. My son broke into a neighbor's house and stole things ... but according to him, he didn't really break in. They were neighborhood friends, and besides, the door was unlocked. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /></p><p>Pick up some books on Asperger's. You'll want to do some research.</p><p>And in regard to ADHD medications, they have been a godsend for my son. He's also on the bipolar spectrum (although the dr says "Mood disorder not otherwise specified") and takes lithium. But lithium does not work for Asperger's.</p><p>by the way, Temple Grandin takes Prozac, just to take the edge off. She does a lot of public speaking. Bright lights, loud audience, travel, elevators, all of that can be overwhelming.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 640022, member: 3419"] Welcome, Worried Daddy. Yes, your son really, really sounds like he's on the spectrum. And ADHD is a symptom, as well as a cause . It is neurological. I love your bullet list. Perfect descriptions. Strangling the girl sounds impulsive to me. "I feel like strangling her" so ... I do. Why? Don't know. I wanted to at the time. Hoarding and taking things to bed? That's my son. No friends? Yep. He'll come home with-a few friends eventually and I'll guarantee you ... they'll be on the spectrum as well. Stubble on the face? I'd suggest you and your wife take turns "brushing" his back to take the place of the face rubbing. I just use my fingernails lightly and it's not as good, but I can guarantee my son will fall asleep in no time when I do the pattern on his back. Here's a link to one. I'm sure you can find something closer. [url]http://www.therapyshoppe.com/category/7-brushes-tactile-tools[/url] Lack of hygiene? Ohhhh yeah! I finally bought Wet Wipes for my son to use in the bathroom, because he'd get stuff on his hands if he missed with the toilet paper ... and wipe it on the walls. This was in middle school. :( He is much better now. AND the MIRACLE is ... he has a girlfriend. Of course, she's "off" too but they have been together for over 2 yrs. Amazing. (And she has hygiene issues in her own way. And serious boundary issues.) Oh, speaking of boundary issues, I totally agree with-the others here--Aspies think differently and can convince themselves of the "rightness" of something when it's blatantly wrong. My son broke into a neighbor's house and stole things ... but according to him, he didn't really break in. They were neighborhood friends, and besides, the door was unlocked. :( Pick up some books on Asperger's. You'll want to do some research. And in regard to ADHD medications, they have been a godsend for my son. He's also on the bipolar spectrum (although the dr says "Mood disorder not otherwise specified") and takes lithium. But lithium does not work for Asperger's. by the way, Temple Grandin takes Prozac, just to take the edge off. She does a lot of public speaking. Bright lights, loud audience, travel, elevators, all of that can be overwhelming. [/QUOTE]
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