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Adoption, the Unknown, and Fetal Alcohol Exposure
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<blockquote data-quote="WearyWoman" data-source="post: 374627"><p>Marg - Excellent thoughts, and I appreciate them more than you may know. I believe difficult child 2 will receive more help and assistance under the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified umbrella, and your point about higher functioning Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids being more of a handful is very real. I have heard others say that as well, and given that he barely meets the criteria, that is the case here. He can talk, make eye contact, does not stimulant, does not repeat things, is able to read and write, etc., etc. It's his understanding of the world that is very impaired - social - behavioral - and also the self-care and neurodevelopmental things.</p><p> </p><p>Bubby's birthmom became pregnant against her will, and that was the main reason she placed him for adoption, as well as being a single mom to her first infant already. She was unaware of the pregnancy for some time - about four months.</p><p> </p><p>Bubby has the epicanthal folds by his eyes (mild but unquestionably there), and that's probably the biggest physical sign. His eyes are also noticeably wide-set. My sister, a nurse, actually brought it up to me in the past, and I dismissed it. I do know that ethnicity can cause the epicanthal folds too, but his bio mom was caucasian, blonde, and blue-eyed. We have zero info on the bio dad, but it's probably safe to say he has darker features, as Bubby is dark-haired and has brown eyes. In light of the severe behavioral problems and these subtle physical signs, I can't help wondering about alcohol exposure. The fact that fetal alcohol symtpoms can overlap with autism symptoms doesn't make it any easier to distinguish. It scares me when he gets angry and hits us or throws/breaks things. He says he will kill us sometimes, he is so upset, and this could be over a minor issue, like picking up toys or just having to do something he doesn't want to do. He doesn't seem to have proper empathy. I have bruises, scars, and more broken things than could be counted. As he is growing, I find myself more afraid of the harm he could cause. Bubby just isn't able to regulate his emotions or behaviors very well. It's not always possible to prevent his meltdowns. When he's not off the deep end, he actually is quite loving, though. He also is very gentle and caring with animals and sensitive in many other ways.</p><p> </p><p>I agree that it's easy to allow fear to color perception. I pray that he doesn't have fetal alcohol issues, as I believe that could be worse in many ways than anything else.</p><p> </p><p>WW</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="WearyWoman, post: 374627"] Marg - Excellent thoughts, and I appreciate them more than you may know. I believe difficult child 2 will receive more help and assistance under the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified umbrella, and your point about higher functioning Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids being more of a handful is very real. I have heard others say that as well, and given that he barely meets the criteria, that is the case here. He can talk, make eye contact, does not stimulant, does not repeat things, is able to read and write, etc., etc. It's his understanding of the world that is very impaired - social - behavioral - and also the self-care and neurodevelopmental things. Bubby's birthmom became pregnant against her will, and that was the main reason she placed him for adoption, as well as being a single mom to her first infant already. She was unaware of the pregnancy for some time - about four months. Bubby has the epicanthal folds by his eyes (mild but unquestionably there), and that's probably the biggest physical sign. His eyes are also noticeably wide-set. My sister, a nurse, actually brought it up to me in the past, and I dismissed it. I do know that ethnicity can cause the epicanthal folds too, but his bio mom was caucasian, blonde, and blue-eyed. We have zero info on the bio dad, but it's probably safe to say he has darker features, as Bubby is dark-haired and has brown eyes. In light of the severe behavioral problems and these subtle physical signs, I can't help wondering about alcohol exposure. The fact that fetal alcohol symtpoms can overlap with autism symptoms doesn't make it any easier to distinguish. It scares me when he gets angry and hits us or throws/breaks things. He says he will kill us sometimes, he is so upset, and this could be over a minor issue, like picking up toys or just having to do something he doesn't want to do. He doesn't seem to have proper empathy. I have bruises, scars, and more broken things than could be counted. As he is growing, I find myself more afraid of the harm he could cause. Bubby just isn't able to regulate his emotions or behaviors very well. It's not always possible to prevent his meltdowns. When he's not off the deep end, he actually is quite loving, though. He also is very gentle and caring with animals and sensitive in many other ways. I agree that it's easy to allow fear to color perception. I pray that he doesn't have fetal alcohol issues, as I believe that could be worse in many ways than anything else. WW [/QUOTE]
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