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Adult child stealing
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<blockquote data-quote="gsingjane" data-source="post: 581465" data-attributes="member: 15986"><p>Thank you so much for the warm welcome and the references. I looked at the article about sociopathy, and will also read over your post on detachment. Even at this early point I feel that I have learned a great deal from this website and from the various posts and viewpoints.</p><p></p><p>Last night was really, really hard. John called me up, ostensibly to apologize, and the conversation proceeded exactly as it has on so many prior occasions. He started out bellicose and hostile, accusing me of "abusing him" by sending mean emails, and also stating that he had no idea why I would want to permanently sever our relationship "over $40." ($40 is the straw that broke the camel's back, that's all it is.)</p><p></p><p>I was actually sort of amazed at how things followed exactly the same pattern; he started by belligerently defending his actions, but moved into a stunned, "how can you do this to me?" mode, then followed by copious weeping and begging. I realized that every conversation we've had about his stealing has followed this identical pattern.</p><p></p><p>The new twist this time is that he also mentioned he'd had some medical tests and that he had also wanted to discuss the results with me, but that "now isn't the right time." I asked him outright what he had to say, since I wasn't sure how often we'd be speaking going forward, but he refused to say.</p><p></p><p>About an hour later I just lost it; because of John's anti-rejection medications, it's true that one of these days he will probably be diagnosed with cancer, and somehow I just got convicted that's what he had to tell me. I just couldn't stop crying. I finally called my mom, who said - paraphrasing - if it IS cancer, there's really nothing you can do now anyway, and it sounds to me as if he's just trying to manipulate you. And it is certainly true, that many times (although not always), John has raised the "red flag" of his health problems to get out from under the consequences of his thefts.</p><p></p><p>Today I am shaken, sad, but continue resolute. I am also very much enmeshed in the process of contemplation and prayer, to figure out what this all means, both now during Lent and going forward.</p><p></p><p>Thanks for listening.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="gsingjane, post: 581465, member: 15986"] Thank you so much for the warm welcome and the references. I looked at the article about sociopathy, and will also read over your post on detachment. Even at this early point I feel that I have learned a great deal from this website and from the various posts and viewpoints. Last night was really, really hard. John called me up, ostensibly to apologize, and the conversation proceeded exactly as it has on so many prior occasions. He started out bellicose and hostile, accusing me of "abusing him" by sending mean emails, and also stating that he had no idea why I would want to permanently sever our relationship "over $40." ($40 is the straw that broke the camel's back, that's all it is.) I was actually sort of amazed at how things followed exactly the same pattern; he started by belligerently defending his actions, but moved into a stunned, "how can you do this to me?" mode, then followed by copious weeping and begging. I realized that every conversation we've had about his stealing has followed this identical pattern. The new twist this time is that he also mentioned he'd had some medical tests and that he had also wanted to discuss the results with me, but that "now isn't the right time." I asked him outright what he had to say, since I wasn't sure how often we'd be speaking going forward, but he refused to say. About an hour later I just lost it; because of John's anti-rejection medications, it's true that one of these days he will probably be diagnosed with cancer, and somehow I just got convicted that's what he had to tell me. I just couldn't stop crying. I finally called my mom, who said - paraphrasing - if it IS cancer, there's really nothing you can do now anyway, and it sounds to me as if he's just trying to manipulate you. And it is certainly true, that many times (although not always), John has raised the "red flag" of his health problems to get out from under the consequences of his thefts. Today I am shaken, sad, but continue resolute. I am also very much enmeshed in the process of contemplation and prayer, to figure out what this all means, both now during Lent and going forward. Thanks for listening. [/QUOTE]
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