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Adult child stealing
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<blockquote data-quote="Tiredof33" data-source="post: 581589" data-attributes="member: 13558"><p>Jane,</p><p>You asked about sharing my problems with my son. Many of us have had this same discussion. I was blamed for my son's behavior by the schools, police, and the legal system. I can't tell you how many times I was told, 'you have a serious problem, you need to get your out of control son under control.' </p><p></p><p>DUH!!!!!</p><p></p><p>I had my son in as many programs as I could starting at a young age. He would not cooperate in counseling, and was court ordered to rehab twice. I was also a single parent without child support, or moral support. </p><p></p><p>It is embarrassing to have a child that blatantly disrespects you regardless where you are and who is around. I was tired of spending my vacation days and weekends visiting a son that just starts all over again as soon as he is on the streets again. My son's many times in jail were bragging rights.</p><p></p><p>We just had a 39yo drug addict go on a burglary spree that ending in high speed chases ending in another state. He had stolen and crashed about 5 vehicles including a police car. I can't tell you how many people were blaming all of this on his parents, no one ever loved him blah...blah...blah... I hope that one day the rest of the world will understand that there is nothing you can do to turn these people around when they don't want their lives turned around!</p><p></p><p>I discussed my son with a therapist, his sister, and my husband of 13 years. My husband is not emotionally attached so he helps me stay focused on the problem without falling apart emotionally. I do not discuss him with other members of my family because many would think I was abandoning him. It's bad enough when he gets high and posts suicidal threats on FB and other nasty posts to family members. Then EVERYONE feels obligated to call me and let me know. Exactly what they think I can do about it is beyond me.</p><p></p><p>I was very despondent about my son for many years. I came home one day and my complete home, including clothes, was stolen. Then the last conn for money and the harrassment by his girlfriend. They had a fight and she came after him with a knife and she was sent to detox and he Baker Acted himself. I spend a lot of money then helping him relocate and look for a new job. And now, they're back together! He lies about it and now says I was harrassing her. This was the time I drew the line in the sand and said, 'NO MORE'.</p><p></p><p>I can't do it any more, I'm exhausted! It's still hard and some days more than others, but there are also very good, peaceful days now. I do honestly think my son does still have a lot of anger and blames me for all of his problems. I helped him find therapist in his area nd he just lied and said he was going, I know he is not. Mine refuses to do anything to help himself.</p><p></p><p>When you reach the point that you just can't take it any more you will know it and you will draw the line. </p><p></p><p>This is a great free online book written by a family therapist about her son. It, along with other books, has helped me.</p><p><a href="http://www.support4change.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=131&Itemid=177/5/12.html" target="_blank">http://www.support4change.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=131&Itemid=177/5/12.html</a></p><p></p><p>(((huggs and blessings)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tiredof33, post: 581589, member: 13558"] Jane, You asked about sharing my problems with my son. Many of us have had this same discussion. I was blamed for my son's behavior by the schools, police, and the legal system. I can't tell you how many times I was told, 'you have a serious problem, you need to get your out of control son under control.' DUH!!!!! I had my son in as many programs as I could starting at a young age. He would not cooperate in counseling, and was court ordered to rehab twice. I was also a single parent without child support, or moral support. It is embarrassing to have a child that blatantly disrespects you regardless where you are and who is around. I was tired of spending my vacation days and weekends visiting a son that just starts all over again as soon as he is on the streets again. My son's many times in jail were bragging rights. We just had a 39yo drug addict go on a burglary spree that ending in high speed chases ending in another state. He had stolen and crashed about 5 vehicles including a police car. I can't tell you how many people were blaming all of this on his parents, no one ever loved him blah...blah...blah... I hope that one day the rest of the world will understand that there is nothing you can do to turn these people around when they don't want their lives turned around! I discussed my son with a therapist, his sister, and my husband of 13 years. My husband is not emotionally attached so he helps me stay focused on the problem without falling apart emotionally. I do not discuss him with other members of my family because many would think I was abandoning him. It's bad enough when he gets high and posts suicidal threats on FB and other nasty posts to family members. Then EVERYONE feels obligated to call me and let me know. Exactly what they think I can do about it is beyond me. I was very despondent about my son for many years. I came home one day and my complete home, including clothes, was stolen. Then the last conn for money and the harrassment by his girlfriend. They had a fight and she came after him with a knife and she was sent to detox and he Baker Acted himself. I spend a lot of money then helping him relocate and look for a new job. And now, they're back together! He lies about it and now says I was harrassing her. This was the time I drew the line in the sand and said, 'NO MORE'. I can't do it any more, I'm exhausted! It's still hard and some days more than others, but there are also very good, peaceful days now. I do honestly think my son does still have a lot of anger and blames me for all of his problems. I helped him find therapist in his area nd he just lied and said he was going, I know he is not. Mine refuses to do anything to help himself. When you reach the point that you just can't take it any more you will know it and you will draw the line. This is a great free online book written by a family therapist about her son. It, along with other books, has helped me. [URL]http://www.support4change.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=131&Itemid=177/5/12.html[/URL] (((huggs and blessings))) [/QUOTE]
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