Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Adult Child Who Steals...
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Stress Bunny" data-source="post: 627340" data-attributes="member: 4855"><p>Shawn,</p><p>First, I am very sorry you are going through this. Many of us here have had to detach from our adult difficult children. When we gave our son (difficult child) a chance to return living with us after a failed year at college, he immediately disrespected us and our property, and of course, any requirements of him so we could have a peaceful life at home. Within two short weeks it was abundantly clear that he could never live with us again, for a host of reasons, including safety. In any case, knowing this did not make it any easier to make him leave. Knowing did not console me in my deepest grief over everything about our son and his choices. And knowing will not protect me from his behavior in the future. </p><p></p><p>But . . . knowing did help me with my resolve to take care of us (hubby, younger son, and me). Knowing has led me to a place of detachment that I didn't think possible. I have learned that I can be okay regardless of what my oldest difficult child says or does. In hindsight, removing him from our home was the absolute right decision. The choices he has made since then only confirm it. He only left a few months ago, and in in that time, he has been arrested, in a car accident, cited for underage drinking, "injured" at work, involved in domestic disputes with one of his girlfriends, failed to pay his bills, visited the ER to get prescription pain medications, lived with different girlfriends every other week, gotten someone pregnant (but learned this wasn't true), tried to get into the Army Reserves (though he should be disqualified), and now he is engaged to be married and mystified as to why we aren't thrilled.</p><p></p><p>We fully expect that difficult child will eventually lose his job and be evicted from his apartment. He does not have a working vehicle. He uses other people to get what he wants.</p><p></p><p>I am sharing this with you so that you can see the value of setting boundaries of your own. Regardless of what your daughter's issues are, be they personality or substance abuse or both, you will benefit from drawing the line and protecting yourself. If you don't, you will suffer much more, and you deserve a better future. I will keep you in my prayers.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Stress Bunny, post: 627340, member: 4855"] Shawn, First, I am very sorry you are going through this. Many of us here have had to detach from our adult difficult children. When we gave our son (difficult child) a chance to return living with us after a failed year at college, he immediately disrespected us and our property, and of course, any requirements of him so we could have a peaceful life at home. Within two short weeks it was abundantly clear that he could never live with us again, for a host of reasons, including safety. In any case, knowing this did not make it any easier to make him leave. Knowing did not console me in my deepest grief over everything about our son and his choices. And knowing will not protect me from his behavior in the future. But . . . knowing did help me with my resolve to take care of us (hubby, younger son, and me). Knowing has led me to a place of detachment that I didn't think possible. I have learned that I can be okay regardless of what my oldest difficult child says or does. In hindsight, removing him from our home was the absolute right decision. The choices he has made since then only confirm it. He only left a few months ago, and in in that time, he has been arrested, in a car accident, cited for underage drinking, "injured" at work, involved in domestic disputes with one of his girlfriends, failed to pay his bills, visited the ER to get prescription pain medications, lived with different girlfriends every other week, gotten someone pregnant (but learned this wasn't true), tried to get into the Army Reserves (though he should be disqualified), and now he is engaged to be married and mystified as to why we aren't thrilled. We fully expect that difficult child will eventually lose his job and be evicted from his apartment. He does not have a working vehicle. He uses other people to get what he wants. I am sharing this with you so that you can see the value of setting boundaries of your own. Regardless of what your daughter's issues are, be they personality or substance abuse or both, you will benefit from drawing the line and protecting yourself. If you don't, you will suffer much more, and you deserve a better future. I will keep you in my prayers. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Adult Child Who Steals...
Top