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Adult daughter lying and hiding things
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 732621" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Hi DeeJay,</p><p></p><p>I completely understand your concern. It sounds very suspect in that the boyfriend and his father are being manipulative. At 24 your daughter is a grown woman who is making her own choices whether good or bad.</p><p>My suggestion for you is to tread lightly. If you come on strong telling her you think the whole thing could blow up in her face you would probably only push her away. At 24 she does not need your permission to do anything and could come to resent you if you try to tell her "what she's doing wrong".</p><p>You want to keep the lines of communication open and if she feels you are disapproving she may shut you out. You don't have to like the boyfriend but letting her think you do can make all the difference. Invite them both over for dinner or take them to lunch. I think of that old saying "keep your friends close but your enemies closer" </p><p>She's at an age where if she is pushed into a corner she may very well choose the boyfriend over her family.</p><p></p><p>I know it must be hard for you to have her leave so suddenly but hold onto the good points, she has a good job, she was able to buy a home. It does not sound like she has a drug or alcohol problem and that is something to be happy about.</p><p></p><p>Life lessons are tough. As a parent we want our children to grow into responsible adults and thrive. Your daughter has a pretty good start to that. Has she made a poor choice by the boyfriend she has chosen, perhaps but it's her choice. </p><p></p><p>Send her a housewarming gift, tell her how proud you are that she has purchased her first home. Tell you how much you love her and that you wish her well as she begins this new chapter.</p><p></p><p>((HUGS))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 732621, member: 18516"] Hi DeeJay, I completely understand your concern. It sounds very suspect in that the boyfriend and his father are being manipulative. At 24 your daughter is a grown woman who is making her own choices whether good or bad. My suggestion for you is to tread lightly. If you come on strong telling her you think the whole thing could blow up in her face you would probably only push her away. At 24 she does not need your permission to do anything and could come to resent you if you try to tell her "what she's doing wrong". You want to keep the lines of communication open and if she feels you are disapproving she may shut you out. You don't have to like the boyfriend but letting her think you do can make all the difference. Invite them both over for dinner or take them to lunch. I think of that old saying "keep your friends close but your enemies closer" She's at an age where if she is pushed into a corner she may very well choose the boyfriend over her family. I know it must be hard for you to have her leave so suddenly but hold onto the good points, she has a good job, she was able to buy a home. It does not sound like she has a drug or alcohol problem and that is something to be happy about. Life lessons are tough. As a parent we want our children to grow into responsible adults and thrive. Your daughter has a pretty good start to that. Has she made a poor choice by the boyfriend she has chosen, perhaps but it's her choice. Send her a housewarming gift, tell her how proud you are that she has purchased her first home. Tell you how much you love her and that you wish her well as she begins this new chapter. ((HUGS)) [/QUOTE]
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