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Adult siblings mooching off of our folks
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 708288" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Susie, as usual you said what i meant, only better.</p><p></p><p>I do think the autistic siblings would do best to get services. If they need help accessing them due to the degree of their disability, then I feel taking snd helping them apply for Disability and the services that comes with it is compassionate. Some autistics get confused and overwhelmed snd sensory crazed with details and need assistance navigating how to get these services.</p><p></p><p>But disabled people can be independent with the right supports. It does not help to feel sorry for them and not teach them how to become independent. I think you would do them no service by making them feel helpless and shielding them from how they can become as independent as possible. Some mentally ill or other disabled adults need group homes to supervise their medications and keep an eye on them, but there is more independence there than being under parental/older sibling authority.</p><p></p><p>Adult kids and parents and even authority figure siblings tend to fall into the role of parent/cild if they live together.....</p><p>telling the younger what to do. It is hard for adult children to deal with that, even if they have challenges. And it is hard not to have high expectations of them that they maybe are unable to achieve if they live with us. So heartbreakake happens. Anger. Frustration. Chaos. They leave. They cone back. But they dony leRn to do for themselves at their highest level or where to get help in functioning if they need it. There are supports to help the disabled. And they are not as emotionally involved.</p><p></p><p>This is your beloved family, but helping them doesnt mean housing and paying their way. You have your own family.</p><p></p><p>I hope you can come to peace with this and lots of good luck!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 708288, member: 1550"] Susie, as usual you said what i meant, only better. I do think the autistic siblings would do best to get services. If they need help accessing them due to the degree of their disability, then I feel taking snd helping them apply for Disability and the services that comes with it is compassionate. Some autistics get confused and overwhelmed snd sensory crazed with details and need assistance navigating how to get these services. But disabled people can be independent with the right supports. It does not help to feel sorry for them and not teach them how to become independent. I think you would do them no service by making them feel helpless and shielding them from how they can become as independent as possible. Some mentally ill or other disabled adults need group homes to supervise their medications and keep an eye on them, but there is more independence there than being under parental/older sibling authority. Adult kids and parents and even authority figure siblings tend to fall into the role of parent/cild if they live together..... telling the younger what to do. It is hard for adult children to deal with that, even if they have challenges. And it is hard not to have high expectations of them that they maybe are unable to achieve if they live with us. So heartbreakake happens. Anger. Frustration. Chaos. They leave. They cone back. But they dony leRn to do for themselves at their highest level or where to get help in functioning if they need it. There are supports to help the disabled. And they are not as emotionally involved. This is your beloved family, but helping them doesnt mean housing and paying their way. You have your own family. I hope you can come to peace with this and lots of good luck! [/QUOTE]
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