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Adult son 33 is homeless, Im Mom, 57, trying so hard to detach, not enable...
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<blockquote data-quote="nlj" data-source="post: 619134" data-attributes="member: 17650"><p>Hello All</p><p>I just found this site. I live in the UK, but these problems have no national boundaries. My son is 26. He's had mental health problems, depression, etc since he was about 18 or maybe younger. He graduated from a good university but couldn't find a job. He drifted from one low-paid menial job to another and spent time dependent on benefits (social security). I've helped him out financially countless times. He's never seemed to be able to cope with any tiny bit of stress and gone downhill as regards self-esteem and taking responsibility. His personal hygiene has been an issue for many years. A few months ago he walked out of his latest job, left his rented house and announced he was going to "live in the forest" and be a self-sufficient 'eco-warrior'. Do you have 'eco-warriors' in the USA? The reality is that he is squatting in a derelict farmhouse with a group of other drop-outs. There is no heating or lighting and no running water. There are rats and mice. They live by scavenging thrown out food from bins behind supermarkets. He hasn't washed for weeks and his clothes are stinking and muddy. He looks and smells like a tramp (hobo?). He has no income at all. I feel as though he has fallen through the net of life, is lost to me, I can't support this way of life and I've probably enabled him to never stand on his own two feet or face up to earning a living etc.by always stepping in and trying to solve his problems for him. I feel so sad. How do i deal with this? My daughter tells me that there is nothing I can do and that I have to just let go, that he may find his way back and he may not but that I can't do anything. And if I do nothing will it lead to his death? It's deep winter here now, torrential rain and freezing temperatures, how can he survive living like this? I can't do anything and I can't do nothing. Just lie awake at night sad and sick with worry.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="nlj, post: 619134, member: 17650"] Hello All I just found this site. I live in the UK, but these problems have no national boundaries. My son is 26. He's had mental health problems, depression, etc since he was about 18 or maybe younger. He graduated from a good university but couldn't find a job. He drifted from one low-paid menial job to another and spent time dependent on benefits (social security). I've helped him out financially countless times. He's never seemed to be able to cope with any tiny bit of stress and gone downhill as regards self-esteem and taking responsibility. His personal hygiene has been an issue for many years. A few months ago he walked out of his latest job, left his rented house and announced he was going to "live in the forest" and be a self-sufficient 'eco-warrior'. Do you have 'eco-warriors' in the USA? The reality is that he is squatting in a derelict farmhouse with a group of other drop-outs. There is no heating or lighting and no running water. There are rats and mice. They live by scavenging thrown out food from bins behind supermarkets. He hasn't washed for weeks and his clothes are stinking and muddy. He looks and smells like a tramp (hobo?). He has no income at all. I feel as though he has fallen through the net of life, is lost to me, I can't support this way of life and I've probably enabled him to never stand on his own two feet or face up to earning a living etc.by always stepping in and trying to solve his problems for him. I feel so sad. How do i deal with this? My daughter tells me that there is nothing I can do and that I have to just let go, that he may find his way back and he may not but that I can't do anything. And if I do nothing will it lead to his death? It's deep winter here now, torrential rain and freezing temperatures, how can he survive living like this? I can't do anything and I can't do nothing. Just lie awake at night sad and sick with worry. [/QUOTE]
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Adult son 33 is homeless, Im Mom, 57, trying so hard to detach, not enable...
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