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Adult son addicted to pills and soon to be homeless
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<blockquote data-quote="lovemysons" data-source="post: 602008" data-attributes="member: 3305"><p>Hi Scott, </p><p>I don't normally post in the PE Forum as I am usually on Sub Abuse Forum but when I read the title of your post it struck a chord...</p><p></p><p>Like you, I have an adult son who is hooked on pain pills and is about to be homeless (should have been told to leave our home this past Monday)...sigh, but mom is the "softie". </p><p></p><p>We have 2 son's that have been dealing with addiction problems for around 10 yrs now. Our oldest is currently sober, owns his own business and home and has baby girl number 3 on the way in September. He has spent time in prison for stealing while on Meth...but thank the Lord today he is sober. </p><p>However...</p><p></p><p>We also have a 24yr old son now who has been living in our home since December when he was released from Prison for spitting at police and then putting his hand through windsheild of wifes car with his children in the backseat. </p><p>As I said, he is addicted to pain medications. As of today I gave him 2 more weeks til he MUST get out of our home...as we are beginning to see evidence of drug use, Examples...Never having any money just a few days after paychecks, sleeping lots, asking to borrow money, lying to his wife about how much money he has saved, having dinner at his wifes (mother in law's house) and acting "strange" in daughter in law's words, my sleep medicine: Trazadone disappearing, etc etc etc. </p><p></p><p>Enough is enough. I don't think you are being a Jerk to put an end to the cycle. I have finally said enough as of today...By letting our difficult child (Gift from God as we call them around here) continue to live off of us...we ARE ENABLING, meaning we are supporting our son's drug use and demise. </p><p></p><p>It is not love. It feel's unkind because "love is so gracious and giving" right? But what are we really giving to???</p><p>Drugs. That is all. We are feeding an insatiable urge, addiciton. We are not supporting our son's positive choices and good behavior. We are supporting our son's demise and potential death. Is that loving? </p><p></p><p>As for your wife...I get it, I truly do. </p><p>While my oldest was in prison 6 yrs ago, I had a Pyschotic breakdown. Now, I won't say that it was his fault...but I was in deep desperate pain over his situation. </p><p>The only thing I can suggest is that the two of you go to marriage counceling that deals with family addiction...and also Al Anon for those that love those with addiction. </p><p></p><p>I am so sorry you are in this "boat" so to speak. It is horrible to see our son's "drowning" and feel like the lifepreserver is in our hands and we are not doing all we can to help...but sometimes the "sink or swim" approach is necessary when you've tried everything else. </p><p></p><p>I wish I had more to offer right now...just thinking aloud about your son, you and wife and how much it resembles my own. </p><p></p><p>You know the right thing to do is often the hardest. </p><p>LMS</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="lovemysons, post: 602008, member: 3305"] Hi Scott, I don't normally post in the PE Forum as I am usually on Sub Abuse Forum but when I read the title of your post it struck a chord... Like you, I have an adult son who is hooked on pain pills and is about to be homeless (should have been told to leave our home this past Monday)...sigh, but mom is the "softie". We have 2 son's that have been dealing with addiction problems for around 10 yrs now. Our oldest is currently sober, owns his own business and home and has baby girl number 3 on the way in September. He has spent time in prison for stealing while on Meth...but thank the Lord today he is sober. However... We also have a 24yr old son now who has been living in our home since December when he was released from Prison for spitting at police and then putting his hand through windsheild of wifes car with his children in the backseat. As I said, he is addicted to pain medications. As of today I gave him 2 more weeks til he MUST get out of our home...as we are beginning to see evidence of drug use, Examples...Never having any money just a few days after paychecks, sleeping lots, asking to borrow money, lying to his wife about how much money he has saved, having dinner at his wifes (mother in law's house) and acting "strange" in daughter in law's words, my sleep medicine: Trazadone disappearing, etc etc etc. Enough is enough. I don't think you are being a Jerk to put an end to the cycle. I have finally said enough as of today...By letting our difficult child (Gift from God as we call them around here) continue to live off of us...we ARE ENABLING, meaning we are supporting our son's drug use and demise. It is not love. It feel's unkind because "love is so gracious and giving" right? But what are we really giving to??? Drugs. That is all. We are feeding an insatiable urge, addiciton. We are not supporting our son's positive choices and good behavior. We are supporting our son's demise and potential death. Is that loving? As for your wife...I get it, I truly do. While my oldest was in prison 6 yrs ago, I had a Pyschotic breakdown. Now, I won't say that it was his fault...but I was in deep desperate pain over his situation. The only thing I can suggest is that the two of you go to marriage counceling that deals with family addiction...and also Al Anon for those that love those with addiction. I am so sorry you are in this "boat" so to speak. It is horrible to see our son's "drowning" and feel like the lifepreserver is in our hands and we are not doing all we can to help...but sometimes the "sink or swim" approach is necessary when you've tried everything else. I wish I had more to offer right now...just thinking aloud about your son, you and wife and how much it resembles my own. You know the right thing to do is often the hardest. LMS [/QUOTE]
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