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Parent Emeritus
Adult son addicted to pills and soon to be homeless
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 602522" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Thanks for the update. You're doing a good job, detaching is difficult but you seem to have your ducks in order. </p><p></p><p>I'm sorry you and your wife aren't on the same page, denial usually keeps the enabling going, so the next time your son tries to manipulate money from you, you and your wife may once again be at odds. It makes it challenging for you. I hope she can abide by your wishes that your son won't live under your roof again and no more money. My experience is that if our kids don't make the necessary changes in their lives on their own, they will continue with the negative behaviors, so if your son heads out to Florida and continues his addiction, he may burn the bridge he is attempting to build. If that happens he will once again be either at your door step or calling for money. I don't want to sound like a naysayer, however, I've seen this before on this site and in my own life, so you may want to do whatever you can to prepare for that, both for yourself and what the inevitable results will be when you and your wife are not on the same page and your son is awaiting money or rescuing from you. Enabling will keep all of you stuck.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there, this detachment process has many mine fields............I wish you peace...........</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 602522, member: 13542"] Thanks for the update. You're doing a good job, detaching is difficult but you seem to have your ducks in order. I'm sorry you and your wife aren't on the same page, denial usually keeps the enabling going, so the next time your son tries to manipulate money from you, you and your wife may once again be at odds. It makes it challenging for you. I hope she can abide by your wishes that your son won't live under your roof again and no more money. My experience is that if our kids don't make the necessary changes in their lives on their own, they will continue with the negative behaviors, so if your son heads out to Florida and continues his addiction, he may burn the bridge he is attempting to build. If that happens he will once again be either at your door step or calling for money. I don't want to sound like a naysayer, however, I've seen this before on this site and in my own life, so you may want to do whatever you can to prepare for that, both for yourself and what the inevitable results will be when you and your wife are not on the same page and your son is awaiting money or rescuing from you. Enabling will keep all of you stuck. Hang in there, this detachment process has many mine fields............I wish you peace........... [/QUOTE]
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Adult son addicted to pills and soon to be homeless
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