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Parent Emeritus
Adult son addicted to pills and soon to be homeless
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<blockquote data-quote="DaisyFace" data-source="post: 603046" data-attributes="member: 6546"><p>Deep breaths! Calm....calm....calm...</p><p></p><p>What you are describing is NOT detachment - it is anger....and frustration ....and wanting control.</p><p></p><p>Ask yourself why your son's bad choices are YOUR responsibility?</p><p></p><p>Why do you care WHERE he ends up living right now? As long as it is not your house - it does not affect you!</p><p></p><p>Why are you so determined to give him money? If he really, really wanted to get somewhere - he would. You would be surpised how resourceful these kids can be as soon as the bank of Mom and Dad is closed!</p><p></p><p>And what in the world is the point of an ultimatum? You cannot enforce anything - other than your own choices.</p><p></p><p>Step back. Stop thinking about your son for a while (easier said than done - I know!). Do something nice for yourself and your wife.</p><p></p><p>Let your son have control of his own life.</p><p></p><p>Listen. Do not engage.</p><p></p><p>When he tells you about yet another harebrained scheme - nod your head, and repeat "yep, yep - good luck with that! Let us know how it works out...". The End! No arguing. No advice. No ultimatums. No anger.</p><p></p><p>Peace.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DaisyFace, post: 603046, member: 6546"] Deep breaths! Calm....calm....calm... What you are describing is NOT detachment - it is anger....and frustration ....and wanting control. Ask yourself why your son's bad choices are YOUR responsibility? Why do you care WHERE he ends up living right now? As long as it is not your house - it does not affect you! Why are you so determined to give him money? If he really, really wanted to get somewhere - he would. You would be surpised how resourceful these kids can be as soon as the bank of Mom and Dad is closed! And what in the world is the point of an ultimatum? You cannot enforce anything - other than your own choices. Step back. Stop thinking about your son for a while (easier said than done - I know!). Do something nice for yourself and your wife. Let your son have control of his own life. Listen. Do not engage. When he tells you about yet another harebrained scheme - nod your head, and repeat "yep, yep - good luck with that! Let us know how it works out...". The End! No arguing. No advice. No ultimatums. No anger. Peace. [/QUOTE]
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Adult son addicted to pills and soon to be homeless
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