Adult son back in jail for the nth time

[Sister's Keeper]

For the record, I don't visit jail either, and I will never bring the kids. I have come to the terms that if you want to be in jail, that's fine, but you will do your time yourself.

Here is the problem with the mental health system. I am sure that everyone knows that in the past the system was full of abuse. People were locked up by family for, essentially, their lifetime for being ill, and for a variety of things that weren't mental illness, but an embarrassment to the family. Things like epilepsy, homosexuality, autism, or just being a little eccentric.

So someone cannot be held against their will for just being "crazy." That, in and of itself, is no crime. The provision to involuntarily commit people for being dangerous is to protect them and society, but as soon as they are deemed no longer dangerous, it is not legal to hold them against their will.

Unfortunately, Detatching, your son sounds like he is, indeed, psychotic, and has very unstable moods, but unless he does something or threatens to do something actually dangerous your hand are tied. It's sad, but true.

He, obviously needs help. He needs a dual diagnosis program, as he is struggling with both addiction and mental illness, which is not at all uncommon.

I'm sorry for the lack of understanding of the girlfriend's father, and, unfortunately, in a way they are enabling him, too. There is no way to make them understand that this isn't just "behavior he could control if he wanted to."

I am assuming that they are aware of the drug addiction? Is there a possibility that the girlfriend would be willing to tell him they can have no contact until he completes a treatment program? I am sorry to say that I would be very afraid that someone who is actively psychotic would harm a baby unintentionally as part of a delusion.

You know, it sounds as if your son, actually, functions well if he is medicated and that he is capable of independent living if he had some drug treatment and was compliant with medications. It's a vicious cycle. I feel better, so I reason I don't need the medications anymore, I stop taking the medications and get paranoid, then I won't take the medications because I'm paranoid.

 

[BusynMember]

The problem with schizophrenia, as I understand it, is that it is the metastsic cancer of mentsl illness, far more serious and harder to treat than depression, anxiety or even bipolar. The reason for that is because there is often chronic and hard to treat psychosis, which is the mind playing tricks on the person to the point that he sees and hears and maybe smells and feels touch that is not real. But the person can not tell that it is not real.
If one day of medications is missed or extra drugs are added, even alcohol or pot, the person can start to get serious, self destructive hallucinations again that they do not identify as not real.
Trying to make a schizophrenic promise anything or face a consequence is a slippery slope. Even on medications some still get psychotic and forget their promises, dont remember the consequences and go into that world where everyone is out to get him and taping him you cant talk them out of it...they need crisis treatment and medications to bring them back to reality. But the laws only allow forceful help if they are a physical danger to themselves or others.
They can not make sane choices if they are actively schizophrenic. But that is often not "bad" enough for hospitals to admit them.

This is the worst mental illness one can have. My heart goes out to anybody who has a loved one with this disorder. I beleve that schizophrenia with mood components is called scizoaffective disorder but am not sure.
We need better understanding of schizophrenia. It is the devil. And very misunderstood.

 

[Sister's Keeper]

Somewhere, you are absolutely correct. Also there is some research to show the longer it goes untreated, or the more lapses in compliance, the more difficult it is to treat.

Some people do very, very well on medications are are completely absent of the psychosis, others still hallucinate, or are delusional, but are able to understand that what they are experiencing is not real. Others, even on medicine, are still actively psychotic, but their psychosis or delusions aren't troubling to them and they are able to live with them. Unfortunately, it is very hard to find a medication or combination of medications that work on the symptoms, but don't have horrible side effects.

Detaching says her son also has bipolar disorder, so it sounds like what we term as schizoaffective disorder, which is, essentially, schizophrenia with the mood instability of bipolar disorder. It makes it even harder to treat.

I have known some people with treatment resistant schizophrenia who are able to live independently, but they are the ones who are very compliant with their medication. Normally they are unable to hold jobs outside of sheltered workshops because they have poor social skills and are, generally, socially isolated.

Almost all are socially isolated, some do well attending partial care programs, and are able to remain in the community in a supportive living environment or with family. Most receive SSI.

Sorry to digress, but with Detaching her son's issues are multifaceted. He self medicates the psychiatric disorders with drugs, the drugs exacerbate the psychiatric disorders. He needs a good dual diagnosis program that will treat both the addiction and the psychiatric disorder. It seems that he has an employment history, so, for him, independent living may be possible, but I wouldn't discount applying for SSI. The problem with that is he will have a steady supply of money with which to buy drugs.

Those of us that deal with addicts know that money is a HUGE trigger. Also, unfortunately, people with mental illness who have money frequently become victims because they are easily taken advantage of when they are out of it. Detaching could apply to be his payee, but that adds more stress upon her.

 

[pigless in VA]

Sister's Keeper, I wish I had known you when my husband went crazy.

Welcome, detaching mother. I'm so sorry your son is and has been struggling. I went down that road with my late husband. I understand how devastating it is. I felt as though I were watching an impending train wreck, waving my arms around trying to stop it from happening, but no one could see me.

I wish that my former in-laws had been as understanding and proactive as you are. There were many times when if they had chosen "detachment" my husband may have received the help he needed. Most of the time, father in law just blamed me. He kept trying to tell me to accept my husband's out of control behavior.

Sadly, I found what SWOT said to be true. Each hospital stay was far too brief to bring my husband back to his senses. The doctors treating him didn't talk to each other and refused to talk to me.

Detaching, it is a horrible ride. I will confess to you that I have a childhood friend with schizoaffective disorder. She was my lifeline when dealing with my husband. I couldn't have survived it without her. After my husband died, my friend went through a psychotic phase. I tried once to help her, but suffered from such bad PTSD that I couldn't face it. I had to end my lifelong friendship with her. I simply could not stay on the mental illness treadmill any longer. I love her, I admire her strength, I will be forever grateful for her help, but I simply could not take the stress she brought to my life. I had to sever the ties in order to maintain my own tenuous sanity.

 

[detachingmother]

Yes, I am very afraid. For him being around the baby, AND for his own life, as I think he might very well follow through with suicide one day soon. It does feel like watching a train wreck. My hands are almost always tied, unless I am able to get him in the car and take him to a hospital. Then, and only then if the docs witness what I witness they will admit him and get him half way stable. I've had to call the police, ambulances, etc. Always a traumatic experience. And often, at least in the past, he sometimes can sound so intelligent, that he can make it out like I am the crazy one, who needs to go and they end up not even taking him.

Yes, MONEY is a huge problem and he is coherent enough to work. He's started two businesses, after taking some business college courses. He is very smart, as I know many people with mental illness are, when they aren't in the thick of their disease. When he takes his depakote, he's out in the community, interacting better than most with customers. He is actually AMAZING at marketing and obtaining "jobs". He's made $3000-$4000 a week many weeks when his disease isn't hurting him. I have no idea where his money goes, bc he was living in a very crappy area, although he had nice things in there....part of that was bc he has a felony and most places won't rent to him, and he can't save enough to do what he needs to do. And, well I quit co-signing for him from all the damages/evictions he has gotten in other places he's lived.

The Money though, oh yes, it makes him ten times worse. His mania goes through the roof, he likes the mania bc he works hard while he has it, one reason he hates taking medications. I actually wish he didn't know how to make money, because it does not help him in any way...even when he gets a nice place and gets nice TVs, vehicles, Beds to furnish, etc, he literally destroys it all in one way or another. He has had to start over so many times I cannot count. BUt on the other hand at least i don't feel guilty for that part of letting him be out in the cold with nothing, bc I refuse to help him financially. He truly can't even keep a car or truck more than a few months...he constantly has to replace things he ruined.

girlfriend went to visit him yesterday...it went poorly she said. He was blaming us for his issues, as usual. He hates me most the time, tells me to "die", won't come to my "funeral", all of his problems are bc of me. I know it's not personal, he's angry with his situation.

Yesterday, he kept saying to her, "I'm already dead", referring to himself. They still won't get him his medications in the jail and it's been a month tomorrow that he's been there. When girlfriend told me this, I thought to myself, yes, he is in more ways than one, but didn't say it. I feel like he's dead in alot of ways too.

Again, thanks for all the input. I don't feel like there's much hope, and so many times I have grieved him being gone, but it's still hard.

It would be easier if he was just "crazy" all the time, so he could be put in a group home or something where he would be at least ok and not kill himself or something worse.

IT's so much harder bc he can seem normal at times, and often. It does get worse as he gets older though, if it's like my mom's it will get much worse before it gets better.

Hope this might help someone else going through this, it's a nightmare...I can't be the only one.

I haven't spoken to him in six days. Phone calls are expensive and I am broke right now bc of the ones I have paid for...I feel like it's all I will do is talk to him. I've always told him I won't give him money anymore but I will talk to him on the phone and give emotional support, but so far I've spend about $240 of calls, and another $200 on commissary I think-- something like that, bc the food is awful there. It was all my own grocery money. But, I do feel it's not jail he belongs in, it's treatment. He still doesn't even grasp what he's done.

I know though, it's good to maybe not talk to him and let it maybe sink in why he's there, basically for refusing treatment when he needs it. He has to learn some how. I don't know always a double edged sword...and vicious cycle. Hospital would be better and just maybe he will realize this...not that he has a choice now, but he will have somewhat of a choice on which way this goes with the judge...if he can think straight. Wish they would get him medications in there, they still haven't although he's seen the psychiatrist...

 

[detachingmother]

Sorry that was long and I have basically wrote a book Guess I had alot to get out and really this is all just the tip of the ice berg. ughhhh

I am just going to keep detaching. It's an intervention and if he refuses treatment, I will not be able to be in his life....and quite possibly not my grandbaby's....and I will hope his GFs family will handle her and her issues and the baby. I think she will be fine. She's in outpatient tx now for two months and she seems to be doing ok, and lives with her parents.

 

[detachingmother]

I have heard of stimulant psychosis being permanent if enough of the drugs are used on long enough "runs", or if the users are already prone to mental illness or mentally ill.

"Speed" like meth and Adderal (done in higher than normal dosages) are neurotoxins. They cause permanent damage to certain areas of the brain.

Good luck on your job interview. If it turns out to be the right job for you, I hope you get it.

Yep, unfortunately, this is what seems to have happened. My son smokes a little weed, and bc of his past, that never really bothered me because it kept him calm and even helped that major manic episodes, but now even a little of that sets him off into delusions.

I don't smoke with him, I don't do any drugs, just want to clarify that. lol But yes, i think I have witnessed first hand how awful meth can be. Also, when he was young, docs said ohhhh ADHD, and gave him medications, back then it was ritalin. He would be more "zombied" out on that, but now he loves Adderol and even one of those sets him off into oblivion of FBI, ATF, DEA delusions.

Yes, what you say, I have seen first hand.

 

[GoingNorth]

The only controlled substances I use are those prescribed to me by my doctor, and those are used only as prescribed.

I was into drugs from the age of 15-20 and quit cleanly and Cold Turkey. I started studying drug users and drugs about a year ago as I became fascinated with modern drugs and the sociobiology of their use and their users.

As part of my studies, I became interested in the neurochemistry of drugs, ie, how they affect the brain chemically. I am limping along in my studies there, because organic chemistry isn't one of my strongest subjects.

 

[pigless in VA]

And often, at least in the past, he sometimes can sound so intelligent, that he can make it out like I am the crazy one, who needs to go and they end up not even taking him.

DM,
That happened many, many times with my husband. One time, he called the police on me because the telephone rang. Yep, you read that right, the telephone rang. A few times. Too many in his mind. By the time the police arrived, husband had pulled himself together enough to sound coherent. That was one of the many times that I took the children and went to a hotel in order to feel safe.

I wish there were a better way to get seriously mentally ill people the help they need and deserve.

 

[detachingmother]

Pigless, You're story resonates with me as I have indicated in the message I sent you.

Just gives me chills....and only YOU are like sons girlfriend, and he is like your ex-h. So hard for me to rationalize, but I cannot be in denial, and I have to face the truth.

Breaks my heart what you had gone through. I am doing everything I can to make it clear to GFs parents and authorities understand this, but it just doesn't work.

When I watch documentaries, like the one the other day, with Klebolds (one of the columbine killers) mom on, and the reporters ask, "Didn't you know anything was wrong??" - "didn't you try to get your son help when you saw what he was writing in his diary?" These questions make me so upset, WHY?? BC EVEN when we try to Do something NO ONE LISTENS!!!!

I can outright tell GFs parents, "LOOK, I am afraid my son has the potential to HURT your daughter in an ever lasting kind of way, the possibility IS there!!" They say back, "oh, well we are very religious, we think if he finds GOD, then all will be OK!!" I just shake my head, what in the world is wrong with these people. I am not a COLD mother, I fear for everyone involved with him when he goes into delusions and paranoia.

I am beginning to think some things truly are inevitable. Some things may just be pre-determined and there isn't a dang thing anyone can do about it.

My son killed a cat, thinking it had a microphone in it!!....I have said this, he was in jail for it, I didn't make it up....but nope, sometimes people just think I am the crazy one--I am referring to his GFs family now, but I have to remember he's filled their heads with his own version, and it's a doozy of a version, about how he had such a bad upbringing.

He's also sprayed girlfriend in the eyes with WD-40 during a fit over his truck not starting one day, and who knows what else. Her parents KNOW this. I think her dad semi gets it now, he took out a Stalking PPO against him, but then he takes her down to visit him in jail and gets her phone time, and she sends letters non-stop. Astounding to me. I have a daughter too, and I would lock her up and probably hurt a young man who hurt her....so sad and conflicting to feel this way about one's own son.

There's a lot of dysfunction and "labels" in my family, and it's very hard to deal with. So much so, that I went to a well known Uni and earned my degree in Clinical psychiatric---highest honors (that might be too much info--I do not work in the field, as I actually do not agree with most of what I've learned), but I still can't fix anything. So I do know quite a bit about certain things, I have in the past worked in the field, but couldn't stand it, so used degree in a different way until my job became obsolete. anyway, digress again. Yah, the old cliche' that people who study psychology, have alot of psychology problems in their own lives. True in my case. The only psychology I like now, is positive motivational theories and concentrations...

I am truly at a point, where people will do what they want. This is where I've been for more than a few years. No one can stop them from being a detriment to society--OUR SYSTEM FAILS US EVERY DAY. This is probably how I've always felt, which is why I find most psychiatric talk to be almost a waste UNLESS the person actually wants help. There are many many people who want the help but lack the desire to actually follow through. I don't know what else I can do to "protect" him from himself, or girlfriend. I pray nothing like that happens, but it's in the back of my mind more than just a little bit.

I love my son, with all my heart, I know he loves me too, but this may be too much for him to handle. It is too much for me to handle. I am not helpful to him. And he surely doenst' seem to get it.

Guess I am a little angry today...this is how I feel--I think I got some of it out here... .

Sorry, I am new and already ranting...

 

[detachingmother]

Oh and I definitely agree with medications for the more severe cases. Jail isn't the answer. At all. If it costs $40 k plus per inmate to incarcerate them, surely there could be better answers to those incarcerated who are a "menace" to society. Sorry, I am angry with a non working system.

 

[pigless in VA]

Rant away, DM. I agree that our "system" doesn't work.

As far as the girlfriend's father is concerned, I think he does understand that your son can be dangerous. He's hoping for the best, though. And his daughter is probably begging him to allow her contact with your son.

I think you've done a great job about being honest about your son. You've tried to get him help. You've done what you could to keep people safe.

Please do not hold yourself responsible for what your son does while ill.

I clearly remember telling multiple police officers that my husband was dangerous. They never believed me. Not even after he had an accident and fled the scene. I think in hindsight that all the officers just thought I was hysterical. I know I repeated over and over that my husband needed help. That he wasn't thinking clearly. It never seemed to matter how I phrased it. The authorities can't take action until someone gets hurt. Especially when the ill person can explain away all the strange behaviors.

I did find out that the people in the hit and run accident were hurt but not severely.

I'm going to repeat this, because I want you to really take it to heart: don't hold yourself responsible for what your son does while he is ill.

 

[JMom]

Detaching mom, wow, you are really going through it. I am praying for you and your son and everyone else involved.

Lord, wrap your arms around this mom and send a band of angels to the jail, to girlfriend and baby. Help them all heal, help them out of this mess.

I have faith that you can use all things to your good. Lord, I know you give us free will, but I humbly ask for your grace for this unborn child and his/her mentally injured dad.

I love you, in Jesus name I pray.

 

[TheWalrus]

My daughter has Borderline (BPD). I found out recently mental illness runs on her bio-dad's side. A grandparent committed suicide and, looking back, I think bio-dad suffers from Borderline (BPD) as well. Funny thing is, he disappeared from her life at a young age. She was a tough teen but succeeded and did well in school. She re-connected with bio-dad after graduation, fell in the wrong crowd, became drug addicted, almost succeeded in a suicide attempt that caused a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI)...and now is full blown Borderline (BPD).

She can also be delusional when on meth. We didn't know she was using until it was too late. She can be verbally abusive and has physically attacked boyfriends. She is the most danger to herself.

Unfortunately, she accepts her diagnosis as far as what it GETS her - medical insurance, disability payments, food stamps...welfare. However, she refuses to accept it as far as how much help she needs - she thinks she is fine now and refuses treatment. That was our boundary: get treatment for the Borderline (BPD) and drug use or you cannot come home. Needless to say, she doesn't live here.

And as far as mental health treatment, nowhere would take her unless she went voluntarily (which she wouldn't) and even with suicide attempts, only keep her 5 days. We found a few places that would take her 3-6 months but they were faith-based, work based, or both...and she had to voluntarily check herself in.

It is so sad to see what they need that they aren't mentally capable of seeing or accepting and having nowhere to turn. There is no good system in place for mental health.

As hard as it is to accept, jail may be the best place for him to be if he refuses treatment - it keeps him from harming himself, his girlfriend, the baby or anyone else. For the guilt...there is none. Maybe I should have seen the Borderline (BPD) in my ex, maybe I should have known more about his family, maybe I should have recognized deeper problems in her than rebellion...but we don't look at our children under a microscope, looking for what is "wrong." We see the beauty and perfection of our babies and can become blind to their faults for a long time. And even if I had known? While I hate where she is and the path she is on, I had many beautiful years and fond memories with her...and I have no reason to think it isn't possible to have that with her again. It is just that the responsibility is on her for that to happen.

 

[Ironbutterfly]

I read an article for parents who's adult children are in jail to not fund their accounts. This is considered enabling. They have to have it hurt hard to be in prison, to lose everything, so that they will learn. If you fund the account, it makes it easier on them. They get contact with outside world, they get their donuts, extra food, which they can trade for phone cards to call people they shouldn't, etc. I found this article after I had funded my son's account. I found out he was trading his stuff for a phone card to call the crack girlfriend, who had put a PPO out on him. I found out after he had left the detention center what he had done. So if it ever happens again, no, I won't fund his account.

I am so sorry you are going through all of this- there are many folks who have gone through the grand-children side of things; using them as pawns, making you feel guilty, the threats, and they can help you through this part of it all. I haven't experience that but I know it would be difficult. But I am agreement that the parents should be responsible for their children, but if you suspect any abuse, do call CPS.

Jail sometimes is the only thing that can help them out of their downward spiral to hell, for them to realize consequences for their actions. He is safe, has a place to sleep, no drugs available, not stalking girlfriend. He needs a major time out- and hopefully the courts will get him help he needs.


Big Hugs to you and stay strong, stay the course.

 

[detachingmother]

I hear you Pigless, I told Gfs family bc I know it would be hard to live with myself if something happens. The girlfriend is having her own problems with mental health, and is in therapy every Monday. I think she is getting stronger and I do see positive growth, now it's been about two months. I commend her for that, and talk to her every day. Not fun, but I bite my tongue and give it my best effort. She cannot take her medications right now, not that she usually does anyway, and she's more childish and immature than usual. She takes Buspar (?) and it does help her.

I suppose the reason I have been so vocal is if something happens I think it will lessen the aftermath for how accountable I will feel, regardless. That will be inevitable, I will always think there's something more I could have done.

Walrus, I am sorry to hear your daughter is not well either. It sounds like you have your hands full too at times. I wish I could find a faith based place to take him. I've tried everywhere I could think of...yep, same here, most places only take his for up to 5 days.

Jmom, thank you so much for your kind prayer. I do feel like God's loving hand is on my shoulder most of the time. I've been upset the past week more so than usual. Call it "mother's intuition" since I feel like something very bad is going to happen.

Pigless, I think I read about you being at a Bagel shop and just started crying your eyes out while waiting in line....that's been happening to me a lot. Everywhere. Almost happened on a job interview yesterday. Luckily it didn't. I was offered the job.

A very positive thing happened tonight--- I had a call back from an old friend who happens to be a psychotherapist, who is going to get in touch with the psychiatrist at the jail tomorrow. Just by God's good will, he happens to know him and is on phone calling terms with him. This is the same friend who has helped a few times in the past in between trying many other options. Now hopefully he will get his medications. I have no idea if he will actually take them or try to sell them, which brings me to Iron Butterfly's response.

Iron Butterfly, I know I should not be funding his account. One this I buckle. I feel in my heart of hearts he is suicidal. I need to talk to him about every three or four days, and I go up to five days with out padding call account. Also, just for basic half way decent nutrition, I feel like he needs some money in account. I know where he is, there is only cornflakes for breakfast and nasty juice-watery koolaid type stuff.

At dinner it's always four pieces of bread and either one piece of salami or one piece of bologna cut in half--and maybe a piece of barely edible fruit and a small piece of cake as hard as a brick. Sounds crazy, but this didn't come from him, it came from someone I know who works there. Its downright nasty. They do get a warm lunch, but again, awful. No condiments, utterly disgusting from what I gather from a worker there. A place called Aramark handles the food....I wouldn't feed it to my dog.

With that said, he is very limited on what I will give. At first there were more phone calls just because I had to figure out what was going on and why was he there. He's been having a drought and has been out of everything for about 5 days now. I am very upset with him bc he took his coffee and traded it for a phone call to harrass his girlfriend, accused her of cheating. So basically, he been going without, until and if he can learn to do what's right.

So, yes, I know it's bad, but on a certain level, I just want him to remember he is human, not some monster. When he abuses this privilege he will go without for awhile. I might be rationalizing, but he should have some dignity and things that will help him keep some dignity.

Jail is where he needs to be, since right now there are no other options. I am not so sure about how safe he is though. I am not so much worried about someone hurting him, but young men have committed suicide in there...and I worry he will try that and succeed.

Thank you all for helping me through this, just that the friend will call the psychiatrist tomorrow will help me sleep easier tonight-- and all of the help I have been given here... I am actually floored at how forthcoming you all have been in helping me. Thank you so much.

 

[GoingNorth]

My late husband turned down a very lucrative job running the kitchen at a prison in far Southern IL right after he got out of the Army. (Before he went to cooking school).

On the third interview, they had him spend a half day "working" in their kitchen and husband got a look at how poor the quality of their food was, how poorly/dangerously it was handled, and how little the prisoners were given to eat, and refused the job on the spot.

Also, commissary doesn't sell much "real" food in most prisons, more snacks and junk food.

The closest you can get to real food is ramen and stuff like tinned sardines and the like, both loaded with fat and sodium, though sardines at least have some decent nutritonal value.

Even in the Army, with fluctuating availability of ingredients, a good cook could turn out tasty, nutritious food.

 

[detachingmother]

Yep, it's gross stuff. Unusually bad at this particular jail. The last two jails he was in had decent meals, so no need to pad commissary. I also put $ in so he can write letters--need $ for stamps. It's one of the times we communicate best, is in writing.

One thing this Aramark does, is they have a site called icare.com. This I believe is why they serve such crappy food in the actual jail kitchen, is because they want people ordering "hot food" and spending tons of money online. It's bad too...nothing really healthy.

But I have been able to order hot food online that gets to him at his jail. The guys who are lucky enough to have family who will do this order 5 "hots" and hide them in their locker and eat them throughout the week, bc they can only have one order per week.

The hot choices are, pizza, wings, philly steak and cheese, buffalo chicken sandwiches and boneless wings. All about $15 each, except the philly cheese steak is $11 appx. I've only sent this type of stuff twice, and he can only get it on Saturday. This is one way they get a little bit of condiment, and pepsi with a few otis spunkmeyer cookies.

Yep, crazy, but it's ALL ABOUT THE MONEY, if they want to eat where he is, they almost have to have $ spent by family members. Otherwise they eat next to rotten and definitely stale food. Not all jails are this bad, but this one is absolutely disgusting.

I am also able to send beef jerky, chicken, and tuna for protein, and that is a little better. Even so, they package it in such a way that you are almost forced to by various packages to make one decent package. For instance, they will put the tuna with wraps in one big package, but if you want mayo and pickles, you have to order another package. It's ALL about that money with these friggen jails. It's nothing great but it's at least edible.

 

[GoingNorth]

The prices for "hotmeals" are obscene. The fact, by the way, is that I've eaten in Aramark run corporate cafeterias, and they do know how to put out a decent meal.

The problem is,that with the current political climate in this country, no-one much cares about prisoners being treated humanely.

Back in 81, shortly after husband and i married, we moved to Milwaukee. husband was driving a cab, and being as he was only 23 at the time, had a mouth on him.

He got into it with a couple of Milwaukee cops because he left his cab standing outside a bar while ran in to find his fare. (The bartender had called a cab for a customer not fit to drive.)

Unfortunatly, he mouthed off at the cops, and got "tuned up" for his pains.

Being as how it was Memorial Day weekend, and husband and I had recently had a discussion about his tendency to be a wise-arse, I decided to let him soak in county lockup for the holiday weekend.

Well, he was very subdued when I picked him up after the arraignment, which I took to mean he'd learned his lesson.

Then the puking and runs started. Poor guy had picked up food poisoning from the swill the county jail was passing off as food. He was sicker than a dog for a week.

husband had worked as a kitchen manager (pancake and short order) before we married and had a food service sanitation certificate, so he knew exactly what bug he had and how it had been transmitted, and was totally grossed out on top of being ill.

In jails and prisons. The doctor or PA or APNP is paid a salary. The inmates are charged a fee for every time they see medical personnel. Those fees come out of the inmate's commissary account.

That "tune-up" was the 2nd to last time husband got his nose broken, and the county refused him medical care. The Army fixed his nose for him when they realized he could only breathe out of one nostril.

 

[pigless in VA]

Good news about the medications. I hope he takes them and his thinking clears.