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<blockquote data-quote="Mattsmom277" data-source="post: 330856" data-attributes="member: 4264"><p>Sometimes it is paralyzing to hear something new , even if it is just more of "the same old". Same $#@# , different day - type thing. </p><p></p><p>On my birthday my mother arrived at my door. First time in 2 years. No phone call. 8a.m. doorbell rings, there she stands like we talk, communicate, have a relationship, like we'd seen each other in recent times. Worst few hours of my life. Nothing new really, given she is prone to pulling hurtful stunts and it is main reason that I don't see her to begin with. Paralyzed was the word for me. And I'm beyond detached from her. Truly. Yet it truly is post traumatic stress related. It was a trigger. I was shell shocked almost. </p><p></p><p>I had plans to go out that day with my aunt and cousin. Only relatives I have really, it was my birthday gift from them. I had to call to cancel. I was a emotional mess. My aunt talked to me on the phone for about an hour. At the end I felt much better, but a rung out rag at the same time. She announced she wasn't letting me ruin my birthday in a bad state of mind over my mother, so she'd be here as planned to pick me up, no arguing allowed. Then she hung up!</p><p></p><p>Best gift she could have given me. I dragged my pathetic tush to the shower, got ready, and went out. It was a good choice, best I could have made. The thing is, it was made for me, I wouldnt' have made it without my aunts insight that day. I would for sure have regretted it in later days. </p><p></p><p>the thing is, it can be so hard to not have emotional triggers played on. No matter how much we work on ourselves. I'm sorry your friends are struggling. I hope they can find a way to get past it all.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mattsmom277, post: 330856, member: 4264"] Sometimes it is paralyzing to hear something new , even if it is just more of "the same old". Same $#@# , different day - type thing. On my birthday my mother arrived at my door. First time in 2 years. No phone call. 8a.m. doorbell rings, there she stands like we talk, communicate, have a relationship, like we'd seen each other in recent times. Worst few hours of my life. Nothing new really, given she is prone to pulling hurtful stunts and it is main reason that I don't see her to begin with. Paralyzed was the word for me. And I'm beyond detached from her. Truly. Yet it truly is post traumatic stress related. It was a trigger. I was shell shocked almost. I had plans to go out that day with my aunt and cousin. Only relatives I have really, it was my birthday gift from them. I had to call to cancel. I was a emotional mess. My aunt talked to me on the phone for about an hour. At the end I felt much better, but a rung out rag at the same time. She announced she wasn't letting me ruin my birthday in a bad state of mind over my mother, so she'd be here as planned to pick me up, no arguing allowed. Then she hung up! Best gift she could have given me. I dragged my pathetic tush to the shower, got ready, and went out. It was a good choice, best I could have made. The thing is, it was made for me, I wouldnt' have made it without my aunts insight that day. I would for sure have regretted it in later days. the thing is, it can be so hard to not have emotional triggers played on. No matter how much we work on ourselves. I'm sorry your friends are struggling. I hope they can find a way to get past it all. [/QUOTE]
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