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Advice for family on the edge?
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<blockquote data-quote="erbaledge" data-source="post: 363445" data-attributes="member: 4334"><p>What happens when you find out she's been on the internet at a friends' house? Does she get a consequence? What kind?</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>What consequences did she get here? For each. One suggestion, the whole in her bedroom wall, have her fix it with your supervision. It's not hard to do. Yeah, unless you paint her whole room, the wall won't look fantastic, but that's not the point in the consequence. It's about teaching her real life consequences, if she put a wall into her home as a grown up, she'd have to fix it or pay someone to do so.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Suggestion: I believe you said she's 14? Call her bluff. If she were my daughter, and i knew she *was* having sex, I would want her put onto birth control, because let's be real, parent's can not be with their kids 100% of the time, so better safe then sorry. And since she's saying she is having sex, ask that they also test her for stds'. So basically a full fledged pap/etc appointment.</p><p></p><p>Now, here is something I am learning about doing with my gfg15. With gfg15, I can not *make* her do anything, literally. So that's fine, assign the wall consequence. Until she fixes the wall, whether it be today, this weekend, 2 weeks from now, a month - whatever - she will not 'move on'. So no television, no internet, no computer, no radio/tv/special electronics in her room, no cell phone, no phone calls, no going to friends, NOTHING! Make sure you have plenty of paper, pencils, crayons, etc available. When she throws out " well then I will have nothing to do." <or> "I'm bored" or whatever - tell her "I know you are bored (showing her you listened to her and know what she is saying) so here are pencils/paper/etc, use it to write letters to your friends/family, draw pictures for yourself/friends/family, write poetry, scribble; Whatever you choose dear, here is how you may occupy your time". </p><p>- this way, she has the control of when she get's ungrounded of sort. The first day, she'll probably test you; be patient, in due time she'll get it done, I hope. </p><p>- offering the art supplies again is showing that you are listening and understand her. She's bored, so you are giving her an ally that has lots of potential, shoot, if she wants to make paper air planes fine. </p><p></p><p>I hope this helps, it's just some insight/ideas that came to me.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="erbaledge, post: 363445, member: 4334"] What happens when you find out she's been on the internet at a friends' house? Does she get a consequence? What kind? What consequences did she get here? For each. One suggestion, the whole in her bedroom wall, have her fix it with your supervision. It's not hard to do. Yeah, unless you paint her whole room, the wall won't look fantastic, but that's not the point in the consequence. It's about teaching her real life consequences, if she put a wall into her home as a grown up, she'd have to fix it or pay someone to do so. Suggestion: I believe you said she's 14? Call her bluff. If she were my daughter, and i knew she *was* having sex, I would want her put onto birth control, because let's be real, parent's can not be with their kids 100% of the time, so better safe then sorry. And since she's saying she is having sex, ask that they also test her for stds'. So basically a full fledged pap/etc appointment. Now, here is something I am learning about doing with my gfg15. With gfg15, I can not *make* her do anything, literally. So that's fine, assign the wall consequence. Until she fixes the wall, whether it be today, this weekend, 2 weeks from now, a month - whatever - she will not 'move on'. So no television, no internet, no computer, no radio/tv/special electronics in her room, no cell phone, no phone calls, no going to friends, NOTHING! Make sure you have plenty of paper, pencils, crayons, etc available. When she throws out " well then I will have nothing to do." <or> "I'm bored" or whatever - tell her "I know you are bored (showing her you listened to her and know what she is saying) so here are pencils/paper/etc, use it to write letters to your friends/family, draw pictures for yourself/friends/family, write poetry, scribble; Whatever you choose dear, here is how you may occupy your time". - this way, she has the control of when she get's ungrounded of sort. The first day, she'll probably test you; be patient, in due time she'll get it done, I hope. - offering the art supplies again is showing that you are listening and understand her. She's bored, so you are giving her an ally that has lots of potential, shoot, if she wants to make paper air planes fine. I hope this helps, it's just some insight/ideas that came to me. [/QUOTE]
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