Advice Needed. Any Kind Soul?

[0500264]

Hi all, am new to this forum.
Advice needed from all kind souls out there.

I suspect that my son is taking drugs although I'm unsure which kind of drugs. Recently he has been returning home late and everytime he returns home he locks himself at home. In the morning when he wakes up, he always seem to be out of sorts and runny nose etc. I am really worried, any ways how I could approach him? I am really confused.

Thank you for your help in advance.

 

[DDD]

Welcome. Glad you found us. Sorry you needed to look.

You haven't indicated how old your son is, whether this is a new pattern or a long time pattern of behavior, whether he has any problems that require medication or assistance etc. Those factors help us reach out with a bit more accuracy. Is he in school? Working? Interacting with the family?

Based on what you posted I would assume that you have reason to be concerned. Around here we all put great stock in Mom's Intuition. If you are worried enough to find support here then probably there is a good reason. We are a caring group and I'm sure you will get the listening ear and support you need here. Just tell us a bit more. Hugs. DDD

 

[BusynMember]

Hi there and welcome.
It's never fun to suspect your child is using drugs. I had to go through it and I was in serious denial until she was arrested. If you suspect something that serious, I would ask him first. He will probably lie or say "Just pot once or twice or sometimes." But if his nose is running he is probably snorting something. I wouldn't worry about hurting his feelings. If you strongly suspect he is using drugs, this is dangerous--I'd go through his room when he wasn't home. I hated doing that, but my daughter wouldn't tell me the truth. The good news is s he quit, but that's a long, long story.
How old is your son and has his behavior changed besides locking himself in his room?

 

[Big Bad Kitty]

Have to agree with Midwest Mom. This is serious and needs to be addressed right away. Ask him first. Give him a chance to talk to you about it. If necessary, get a home drug testing kit.

Welcome to the board. Glad you found us, but sorry you had to.

 

[everywoman]

Understand that he will deny, deny, deny. Buy a drug test but understand that he may know how to cheat the drug test. Follow up. Ask questions. Do some research. Learn all you can.

 

[BusynMember]

The only negative about a drug test, which is a good idea, is that some stuff won't show up (or so I believe--they didn't have one back in the day or I would have tested my daughter whether she screamed and yelled at me for it or not). She needed the help.

 

[susiestar]

I am sorry. This is a tough situation. I would take him in for a "checkup" and ask the doctor to run the most complete drug panel they have. they can test for different types of substances, some tests are for 7, some 10, some for more. Ask for the most comprehensive.

but have him give the urine sample BEFORE he knows that you want this checked out. Then confront him in the doctor office with the doctor, or else when the results come in. But make sure you are not alone with him when you confront him.

Let him know you love him no matter what, and that you want to help him with this. But make sure he KNOWS you will not enable the behavior.

It would be a good idea for you to start going to NarcAnon meetings or AlAnon meetings so that YOU have some support.

I am so sorry you are dealing with this. Welcome to our site. There is a lot of support here.

 

[Ephchap]

Hi and welcome. As others have said, sorry you had to find us, as that means there are problems going on.

I'm also wondering about your son's age, any psychiatric diagnosis's, school, etc. Without knowing some of that, it's hard to give much advice ... other than what was stated above, which I wholeheartedly agree with. If you suspect or think it, believe it. Mom's intuition is very rarey wrong when it comes to this.

I also agree that drug testing needs to be done, as if he is drugging, he will lie. You can count on it. I do like Susie's suggestion of having the doctor run a drug screen, but again, that depends on your son's age (consent and all that). Drug screening is definitely necessary though, since you suspect it.

We're here to help in any way we can - whether it be to offer advice or suggestions, or if it's just to offer a shoulder to lean on.

Again, welcome aboard !

Deb

 

[0500264]

Thank you very much for all the overwhelming responses. Will take in consideration. Update all of you soon

 

[standswithcourage]

I agree also. I still have a drug using son. He has all kinds of excuses to use. He is in major denial. He has snorted crushed up pills before. I dont know if that is what your son is doing but if his nose is running it is a sign of something like that. Especially if you know it is not just a cold! I would approach him first - he will probably lie because of pride issues and he doesnt want to be found out - but eventually the truth will come out. You are right it persuing it. Stay brave and on the war-path!