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Advice needed - mother who is a difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="Sara PA" data-source="post: 160463" data-attributes="member: 1498"><p>I have to respond to that part about "if she dies...." Is it really worse for her to die without having contact with you for a number of years or worse for her to die having made you absolutely miserable for X number of years prior? It isn't like anything is going to be different if you reestablish a relationship. </p><p></p><p>If you do reestablish a relationship, set <em>your</em> boundaries for <em>yourself</em> (not for her). Decide how you are going to deal with her behaviors, how much abuse you are going to take from her, how much contact you will have with her. Then follow your plan. Don't expect that you will be able to control <em>her</em> behaviors. We can control only ourselves.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Sara PA, post: 160463, member: 1498"] I have to respond to that part about "if she dies...." Is it really worse for her to die without having contact with you for a number of years or worse for her to die having made you absolutely miserable for X number of years prior? It isn't like anything is going to be different if you reestablish a relationship. If you do reestablish a relationship, set [I]your[/I] boundaries for [I]yourself[/I] (not for her). Decide how you are going to deal with her behaviors, how much abuse you are going to take from her, how much contact you will have with her. Then follow your plan. Don't expect that you will be able to control [I]her[/I] behaviors. We can control only ourselves. [/QUOTE]
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Advice needed - mother who is a difficult child
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