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Advice needed - mother who is a difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="tryinghard" data-source="post: 160580" data-attributes="member: 4570"><p>Sara, you are absolutely right which is why I haven't had contact yet. I know 100 percent that nothing will change in our relationship because I do not believe my mother has the ability to change. What I wonder is how I will feel if she dies and I have never spoken to her again. I wonder if it will help her at all if we start some type of a relationship again. I guess I feel I will be overcome with guilt if I do not try.</p><p> </p><p>Big Bad Kitty, thank you for your kind words. My dear and wonderful brother carries the guilt of feeling like he was the cause of the problem between my mom and I and he feels horrible. He is constantly encouraging me to talk to her. He tells me that I need to beable to except her for who she is. He is not mean to me at all, I just think he really wants us to reconcile because he feels so bad. My mother manipulates the heck out of him and says horrible things to him. He just takes it because she is his mother. I have told him many times I wish I had the same strength he does. He definitely understands and always listens to me. I do get a kick out of when he calls me upset because of what my mother has done or said.</p><p> </p><p>I love my son, thanks for your support...I am sorry it mad you cry....It is very sad not to have your mother when you are older to confide in and be friends with.</p><p> </p><p>Dammit Janet. You sound like you absolutely did everything you could do...and you can sleep well! I think that is where I am concerened...I feel like I should do more so that I too can sleep at nigt<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/faint.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":faint:" title="faint :faint:" data-shortname=":faint:" /></p><p> </p><p>Daiseylover, my mom is a religious fanatic too..interesting. Also, other than that one time that she apologized for being a bad mom...she has never said anything is her fault or that she is sorry. </p><p> </p><p>Thanks to all of you. You do not know how much your comments and insight mean to me.</p><p> </p><p>I really am starting to agree I need a good therapist to get me through A LOT of different issues</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="tryinghard, post: 160580, member: 4570"] Sara, you are absolutely right which is why I haven't had contact yet. I know 100 percent that nothing will change in our relationship because I do not believe my mother has the ability to change. What I wonder is how I will feel if she dies and I have never spoken to her again. I wonder if it will help her at all if we start some type of a relationship again. I guess I feel I will be overcome with guilt if I do not try. Big Bad Kitty, thank you for your kind words. My dear and wonderful brother carries the guilt of feeling like he was the cause of the problem between my mom and I and he feels horrible. He is constantly encouraging me to talk to her. He tells me that I need to beable to except her for who she is. He is not mean to me at all, I just think he really wants us to reconcile because he feels so bad. My mother manipulates the heck out of him and says horrible things to him. He just takes it because she is his mother. I have told him many times I wish I had the same strength he does. He definitely understands and always listens to me. I do get a kick out of when he calls me upset because of what my mother has done or said. I love my son, thanks for your support...I am sorry it mad you cry....It is very sad not to have your mother when you are older to confide in and be friends with. Dammit Janet. You sound like you absolutely did everything you could do...and you can sleep well! I think that is where I am concerened...I feel like I should do more so that I too can sleep at nigt:knockedout: Daiseylover, my mom is a religious fanatic too..interesting. Also, other than that one time that she apologized for being a bad mom...she has never said anything is her fault or that she is sorry. Thanks to all of you. You do not know how much your comments and insight mean to me. I really am starting to agree I need a good therapist to get me through A LOT of different issues [/QUOTE]
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