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Advice needed - mother who is a difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="ScentofCedar" data-source="post: 160624" data-attributes="member: 3353"><p>There is a story about a family of frogs living in a poisoned pond. One of the frogs, a female, managed one day to crawl out of the poisoned pond and onto the bank. From the bank, which was also poisoned, but not AS poisoned, she could see her family. From her changed perspective, she could see how the poison was affecting those she loved.</p><p></p><p>Even so, she just could not make herself go back into that poisoned water.</p><p></p><p>Instead, she crawled away from the family pond.</p><p></p><p>Soon enough, she stumbled upon another, different pond. The water was clear, and sunfilled. There was so much food, and the breezes were warm and mild.</p><p></p><p>And so, she stayed in her new pond, and grew strong and healthy.</p><p></p><p>She took a mate.</p><p></p><p>But when she realized she was pregnant, she found herself thinking more and more about those she loved and had left behind in that horrible poisoned place. </p><p></p><p>Before the time came to lay her eggs, she made the journey back to the poisoned pond.</p><p></p><p>She intended to stay for only a little while ~ just long enough to see her family again, and to tell them there was a better way, a better place, free of the poison that was destroying them all.</p><p></p><p>But no one would listen.</p><p></p><p>She tried harder.</p><p></p><p>As the poison from the pond entered her own body again, she felt herself grow weaker. She began to wonder whether all the things she had been so sure were true ~about the clean, lovely pond and the better way ~ she began to wonder if those hadn't been lies or maybe, just her own imagination.</p><p></p><p>She lost faith really, in the things she had been so sure were true.</p><p></p><p>The pond seemed somehow less poisonous, now that she had been back for awhile.</p><p></p><p>She began to forget who she was, who she had been in that other, clean place.</p><p></p><p>And she grew weaker and weaker, as the days passed.</p><p></p><p>Soon, she no longer possessed the strength of purpose that had led her to climb that bank, the first time.</p><p></p><p>And it was in the poison pond that she laid her eggs, one day.</p><p></p><p></p><p>************* </p><p></p><p>This story has helped me understand my own position.</p><p></p><p>When we entertain thoughts having to do with the poisoned pond, when we wonder whether it was really as awful, and as harmful to us, as we once believed it was, that is when we are in danger of returning to the pond.</p><p></p><p>But like that little frog, we may lose our way, lose our senses of purpose and of self, if we do go back there.</p><p></p><p>Barbara</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ScentofCedar, post: 160624, member: 3353"] There is a story about a family of frogs living in a poisoned pond. One of the frogs, a female, managed one day to crawl out of the poisoned pond and onto the bank. From the bank, which was also poisoned, but not AS poisoned, she could see her family. From her changed perspective, she could see how the poison was affecting those she loved. Even so, she just could not make herself go back into that poisoned water. Instead, she crawled away from the family pond. Soon enough, she stumbled upon another, different pond. The water was clear, and sunfilled. There was so much food, and the breezes were warm and mild. And so, she stayed in her new pond, and grew strong and healthy. She took a mate. But when she realized she was pregnant, she found herself thinking more and more about those she loved and had left behind in that horrible poisoned place. Before the time came to lay her eggs, she made the journey back to the poisoned pond. She intended to stay for only a little while ~ just long enough to see her family again, and to tell them there was a better way, a better place, free of the poison that was destroying them all. But no one would listen. She tried harder. As the poison from the pond entered her own body again, she felt herself grow weaker. She began to wonder whether all the things she had been so sure were true ~about the clean, lovely pond and the better way ~ she began to wonder if those hadn't been lies or maybe, just her own imagination. She lost faith really, in the things she had been so sure were true. The pond seemed somehow less poisonous, now that she had been back for awhile. She began to forget who she was, who she had been in that other, clean place. And she grew weaker and weaker, as the days passed. Soon, she no longer possessed the strength of purpose that had led her to climb that bank, the first time. And it was in the poison pond that she laid her eggs, one day. ************* This story has helped me understand my own position. When we entertain thoughts having to do with the poisoned pond, when we wonder whether it was really as awful, and as harmful to us, as we once believed it was, that is when we are in danger of returning to the pond. But like that little frog, we may lose our way, lose our senses of purpose and of self, if we do go back there. Barbara [/QUOTE]
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