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Advice needed - mother who is a difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="ScentofCedar" data-source="post: 160970" data-attributes="member: 3353"><p>Your brother is being damaged too, in his contacts with his mother. Somehow, we think we can function despite the toxic parent, once we have become adults.</p><p></p><p>But I think that is not true.</p><p></p><p>In our interactions with others, we learn who we are now, today.</p><p></p><p>Love your brother.</p><p></p><p>Believe for him that the things the mother says are lies and falsehoods designed to keep a bully in power once her children have grown too big to victimize physically.</p><p></p><p>Parents who victimize their children ~ whether emotionally or physically ~ are bullies.</p><p></p><p>Even as we become adults, the balance of power is non-existent in the parent-child relationship.</p><p></p><p>If your mother were to change, I am sure you would be there for her that same instant. It sounds though, like she has not chosen to change.</p><p></p><p>A bully will always seek a victim, and will always choose to victimize, if the opportunity is presented.</p><p></p><p>That's what I say, anyway.</p><p></p><p>Wishing you well, tryinghard.</p><p></p><p>Once you can see these issues clearly, your perspective will change between one breath and the next.</p><p></p><p>You will no longer be anyone's victim, because you will radiate from your own source.</p><p></p><p>Barbara</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ScentofCedar, post: 160970, member: 3353"] Your brother is being damaged too, in his contacts with his mother. Somehow, we think we can function despite the toxic parent, once we have become adults. But I think that is not true. In our interactions with others, we learn who we are now, today. Love your brother. Believe for him that the things the mother says are lies and falsehoods designed to keep a bully in power once her children have grown too big to victimize physically. Parents who victimize their children ~ whether emotionally or physically ~ are bullies. Even as we become adults, the balance of power is non-existent in the parent-child relationship. If your mother were to change, I am sure you would be there for her that same instant. It sounds though, like she has not chosen to change. A bully will always seek a victim, and will always choose to victimize, if the opportunity is presented. That's what I say, anyway. Wishing you well, tryinghard. Once you can see these issues clearly, your perspective will change between one breath and the next. You will no longer be anyone's victim, because you will radiate from your own source. Barbara [/QUOTE]
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Advice needed - mother who is a difficult child
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