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Advice needed on 11 year old boy who is behaving criminally
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 363466" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Welcome!! It is nice to "meet" you, though I am sorry you needed to find us. </p><p></p><p>I agree that it would be highly unlikely for symptoms of autism to suddenly start at your son's age. What has changed or happened right around the time your son started to do these things? Chances are that there is some trigger.</p><p></p><p>I always hate to bring this up, but sudden onset of symptoms this severe can be a sign of sexual abuse. If he never behaved this way it would take something serious and major to cause these behaviors. Do NOT NOT NOT just go and ask your son if someone touched him or hurt him. Children will usually try to figure out what you want to hear. Just asking the question several times can change the answers from no to yes. Here in the US there have been some really HUGE cases of supposed sexual abuse that turned out to not have happened. The only reason accusations were made was because someone NOT trained in how to handle these things has asked the question over and over (can be different people asking it). The child says no but adults keep asking so the child figures that no is the wrong answer and says yes so that they will please the adult. Of course the child doesn't realize what is going on, they are just trying to please the adults.</p><p></p><p>To figure out if there is sexual abuse of some kind you will need to have someone trained evaluate your child. First I would sit and go through all the adults and older kids in your child's life. If there is a therapist you are working with you can ask them if your child should be evaluated for this. </p><p></p><p>Many kids go through a phase where they are very curious about fire. Not all, by any means, but it is not uncommon. You can ask your local fire dept if they have any safety programs for kids your son's age and if they will speak to your son. Here the fire stations have programs that help the kids learn fire safety. They even have a trailer that they pull up for kids to go through to experience what it would be like if there was a fire. Our local fire dept brings it to the schools and many other events around town to make sure every child has a chance to learn about it. One member here was told to give her child a metal garbage can and 500 matches and to make her child sit and light every single match, one after another. It was to help her child get bored with playing with fire. Not sure if this would be the advice of your fire dept, but you may want to consider it.</p><p></p><p>As for asking the police to talk to your son, it may be a good idea. They will NOT treat a child who is doing these things the way they would treat an adult. Here is often seems they give our kids too many chances to change so the kids end up thinking the police won't do anything to them no matter what. But often they will at least talk to children and try to scare them. It may be worth a try. You could at least call a non-emergency number and ask them what they would do.</p><p></p><p>I hope these give you some ideas.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 363466, member: 1233"] Welcome!! It is nice to "meet" you, though I am sorry you needed to find us. I agree that it would be highly unlikely for symptoms of autism to suddenly start at your son's age. What has changed or happened right around the time your son started to do these things? Chances are that there is some trigger. I always hate to bring this up, but sudden onset of symptoms this severe can be a sign of sexual abuse. If he never behaved this way it would take something serious and major to cause these behaviors. Do NOT NOT NOT just go and ask your son if someone touched him or hurt him. Children will usually try to figure out what you want to hear. Just asking the question several times can change the answers from no to yes. Here in the US there have been some really HUGE cases of supposed sexual abuse that turned out to not have happened. The only reason accusations were made was because someone NOT trained in how to handle these things has asked the question over and over (can be different people asking it). The child says no but adults keep asking so the child figures that no is the wrong answer and says yes so that they will please the adult. Of course the child doesn't realize what is going on, they are just trying to please the adults. To figure out if there is sexual abuse of some kind you will need to have someone trained evaluate your child. First I would sit and go through all the adults and older kids in your child's life. If there is a therapist you are working with you can ask them if your child should be evaluated for this. Many kids go through a phase where they are very curious about fire. Not all, by any means, but it is not uncommon. You can ask your local fire dept if they have any safety programs for kids your son's age and if they will speak to your son. Here the fire stations have programs that help the kids learn fire safety. They even have a trailer that they pull up for kids to go through to experience what it would be like if there was a fire. Our local fire dept brings it to the schools and many other events around town to make sure every child has a chance to learn about it. One member here was told to give her child a metal garbage can and 500 matches and to make her child sit and light every single match, one after another. It was to help her child get bored with playing with fire. Not sure if this would be the advice of your fire dept, but you may want to consider it. As for asking the police to talk to your son, it may be a good idea. They will NOT treat a child who is doing these things the way they would treat an adult. Here is often seems they give our kids too many chances to change so the kids end up thinking the police won't do anything to them no matter what. But often they will at least talk to children and try to scare them. It may be worth a try. You could at least call a non-emergency number and ask them what they would do. I hope these give you some ideas. [/QUOTE]
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