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Advice Wanted-Teen Daughter
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 160020" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>Oh, that's so sad, when she was so good b4!</p><p> </p><p>I've been hurt a few times, too, at almost exactly the same age your daughter is. I find that it's best just to walk away because my easy child really needed her independence, and if I got on her case too much I would alienate her. Turned out that was the right thing to do ... several of her friends are not on speaking terms with-their mothers and one doesn't even live with-her any more. It's a hard time. You just have to have faith that her old personality will return.</p><p> </p><p>We've pd for a few of our easy child's dresses, and she's worn her cousin's dress, and has worn her other dresses a cpl times ea. She goes to a LOT of dances and we told her we would buy only 1 or 2 but not all of them. One of the dances is casual so we had her choose a dress she could wear to dinner and church. She whined a bit but it turned out fine.</p><p> </p><p>In reg. to last-min. notice for rides, welcome to teen life!!!! That is SO typical. My easy child does it for bake sales, too. Thank d*G I've finally gotten on the PTO email list so the moms give me a heads-up. </p><p>Sometimes, if it's something important, I take her, but I make her "pay me back," either by cleaning or doing something else. Other times, she has had to skip it. And other times she's gotten a ride with-a friend both ways.</p><p>This is only the beginning, I'm afraid. You will have to learn to pick your battles.</p><p>I think the diff between my easy child and yours is that my easy child is Machiavellian enough to know that if she begs sweetly enough, and maybe puts on tears, I may cave in. But if she gets nasty, NO WAY.</p><p> </p><p>No matter what you do for a living, whether you're a fulltime mom or you're running for president, your kids will never understand that your time is valuable. They won't get it until they are your age.</p><p> </p><p>Oh, and the bedroom ... I always ask easy child what she plans to do over the weekend. She'll tell me, and I'll say, "That's after you clean your room and do your own laundry, right? Because if it's a mess, I'll send your friends away." I have actually done it, but her friends don't leave--they run up and clean her room for her! LOL.</p><p>Now when I say it, she gets a stunned look on her face and everything is clean within an hr or two. (Yes, I've had her boyfriend folding laundry at the DR table b4 she could go out to dinner.)</p><p> </p><p>I really, really want that MEANMOM license plate ...</p><p> </p><p>Good luck!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 160020, member: 3419"] Oh, that's so sad, when she was so good b4! I've been hurt a few times, too, at almost exactly the same age your daughter is. I find that it's best just to walk away because my easy child really needed her independence, and if I got on her case too much I would alienate her. Turned out that was the right thing to do ... several of her friends are not on speaking terms with-their mothers and one doesn't even live with-her any more. It's a hard time. You just have to have faith that her old personality will return. We've pd for a few of our easy child's dresses, and she's worn her cousin's dress, and has worn her other dresses a cpl times ea. She goes to a LOT of dances and we told her we would buy only 1 or 2 but not all of them. One of the dances is casual so we had her choose a dress she could wear to dinner and church. She whined a bit but it turned out fine. In reg. to last-min. notice for rides, welcome to teen life!!!! That is SO typical. My easy child does it for bake sales, too. Thank d*G I've finally gotten on the PTO email list so the moms give me a heads-up. Sometimes, if it's something important, I take her, but I make her "pay me back," either by cleaning or doing something else. Other times, she has had to skip it. And other times she's gotten a ride with-a friend both ways. This is only the beginning, I'm afraid. You will have to learn to pick your battles. I think the diff between my easy child and yours is that my easy child is Machiavellian enough to know that if she begs sweetly enough, and maybe puts on tears, I may cave in. But if she gets nasty, NO WAY. No matter what you do for a living, whether you're a fulltime mom or you're running for president, your kids will never understand that your time is valuable. They won't get it until they are your age. Oh, and the bedroom ... I always ask easy child what she plans to do over the weekend. She'll tell me, and I'll say, "That's after you clean your room and do your own laundry, right? Because if it's a mess, I'll send your friends away." I have actually done it, but her friends don't leave--they run up and clean her room for her! LOL. Now when I say it, she gets a stunned look on her face and everything is clean within an hr or two. (Yes, I've had her boyfriend folding laundry at the DR table b4 she could go out to dinner.) I really, really want that MEANMOM license plate ... Good luck! [/QUOTE]
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