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Advice Wanted-Teen Daughter
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<blockquote data-quote="ourlilrayofhope08" data-source="post: 160556" data-attributes="member: 5361"><p><span style="font-family: 'Century Gothic'"><span style="color: darkorchid">it sounds like it might be time for you to" fight fire with fire", so to speak. every child has a "price", and i mean all children. you just have to find out what her price is and go from there. just keep in mind that things will probably get worse before they get better. but i promise u if u stick to ur guns and follow thru with your "threats" or "consequences" then u will come thru this whole thing feeling like there is hope and that there is something out there that works. you just have to really,really stick to your word. think things thru before you hand down punishments and pick your battles. but on things that there is no 2ways about it, you need to figure out what you want from her and what you're willing to do to achieve it. anything is possible, believe me. you can get them (our children) to do anything we really want or need them to. as far as the chores are concerned, if she cant complete her chores as "her"part of keeping up the household, then you need to be able to not feel the need to do anything "extra" for her. whatever u do dont do them for her. in my house my hubby and i have figured out what our firls prices are , not that they dont change all the time, but for the most part we know, and if they are not wantong to do their part to maintain the household then they dont get to do things they want to do. there is no outside influences allowed, i.e... no friends, no phone calls, no going anywhere, straight home from school, no tv or music or anything until their homework and chores are done. they will miss those things before those things miss them. if u have to strip her environment down to the bare minimum. her bedroom only really requires a bed and sheets/blankets/pillows and school supplies to complete homework. other that that thay dont have to have all the other things that we as parents give them in their rooms. start out with whatever is her price. if she cant live without the phone then that goes first, if its the cd's or cd player, then that needs to go too. and until you get what u are wanting or needing from her, then she will not get what she is wanting or thinking she is needing either. be aware, she is probably gonna raise the stakes at some point, and if and when she does then you have to raise them too. once she figures she cannot bully u anymore then she will do what is expected of her. just be strong and know u are not alone.<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/felttip/wink-very.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":wink-very:" title="wink-very :wink-very:" data-shortname=":wink-very:" /></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ourlilrayofhope08, post: 160556, member: 5361"] [FONT=Century Gothic][COLOR=darkorchid]it sounds like it might be time for you to" fight fire with fire", so to speak. every child has a "price", and i mean all children. you just have to find out what her price is and go from there. just keep in mind that things will probably get worse before they get better. but i promise u if u stick to ur guns and follow thru with your "threats" or "consequences" then u will come thru this whole thing feeling like there is hope and that there is something out there that works. you just have to really,really stick to your word. think things thru before you hand down punishments and pick your battles. but on things that there is no 2ways about it, you need to figure out what you want from her and what you're willing to do to achieve it. anything is possible, believe me. you can get them (our children) to do anything we really want or need them to. as far as the chores are concerned, if she cant complete her chores as "her"part of keeping up the household, then you need to be able to not feel the need to do anything "extra" for her. whatever u do dont do them for her. in my house my hubby and i have figured out what our firls prices are , not that they dont change all the time, but for the most part we know, and if they are not wantong to do their part to maintain the household then they dont get to do things they want to do. there is no outside influences allowed, i.e... no friends, no phone calls, no going anywhere, straight home from school, no tv or music or anything until their homework and chores are done. they will miss those things before those things miss them. if u have to strip her environment down to the bare minimum. her bedroom only really requires a bed and sheets/blankets/pillows and school supplies to complete homework. other that that thay dont have to have all the other things that we as parents give them in their rooms. start out with whatever is her price. if she cant live without the phone then that goes first, if its the cd's or cd player, then that needs to go too. and until you get what u are wanting or needing from her, then she will not get what she is wanting or thinking she is needing either. be aware, she is probably gonna raise the stakes at some point, and if and when she does then you have to raise them too. once she figures she cannot bully u anymore then she will do what is expected of her. just be strong and know u are not alone.:wink-very:[/COLOR][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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