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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 636985" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi there. Welcome to our Nightmare...haha. Joke. It's actually a nice place to feel understood. It is hard for us to know how to handle our underage drug addicts, of which I had one who DID quit. I'll tell you how I handled her...since it worked, maybe it will help you or give you ideas, maybe not. Each kid is different. My user daughter is now 30 and we just got home from visiting her, her SO and my adorable infant grandbaby...and they are as boring as any normal family. And she abused almost every drug you can think of, speed being her drug of choice. Your son may be doing more of "not just weed" than you think he is. We had no idea how much my daughter used and what she used until s he quit and was willing to tell us the whole ugly story. It was quite a shock.</p><p></p><p>First of all, we stopped the money completely. She got an outside job and that was fine, but no money came from us. We got her the bare necessities...healthy food and clothes from a thrift shop of Walmart or else she had to pay for anything better. She was not allowed to use the internet. There weren't really cell phones back then, but if there had been, we would have stoped paying for that. She had been paying us for car insurance (her part of it) and putting her own gas in, which all of my kids had to do because we wanted them to have strong work ethics (they do), but after she was obviously on drugs, her use of our vehicles ended. We also regularly searched her room and found lots of interesting stuff and did report it to her parole officer. In fact, once a cop brought his dog in to sniff her room. I forgot about that until our ride home today when my husband reminded me and we had a laugh over it (thank God we can laugh about it now). We simply told her if she did illegal things in our house, she lost all privileges from us and had lost her right to privacy. Our house/our rules. She knew that if she didn't quit, she'd eventually have to leave when legal age, and she did leave. And she quit.</p><p></p><p>In my opinion only, I think it would do him more good if he worked elsewhere from you. Hate to say it, but drug users are big on stealing because they want free money for more drugs. They are not trustworthy. Or as my now clean daughter says, "Never trust a druggie. They lie all the time."</p><p></p><p>As a minor, most of the consequences have to come from us. And, yes, they rage and scream at us for it (shrug). Oh, well.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 636985, member: 1550"] Hi there. Welcome to our Nightmare...haha. Joke. It's actually a nice place to feel understood. It is hard for us to know how to handle our underage drug addicts, of which I had one who DID quit. I'll tell you how I handled her...since it worked, maybe it will help you or give you ideas, maybe not. Each kid is different. My user daughter is now 30 and we just got home from visiting her, her SO and my adorable infant grandbaby...and they are as boring as any normal family. And she abused almost every drug you can think of, speed being her drug of choice. Your son may be doing more of "not just weed" than you think he is. We had no idea how much my daughter used and what she used until s he quit and was willing to tell us the whole ugly story. It was quite a shock. First of all, we stopped the money completely. She got an outside job and that was fine, but no money came from us. We got her the bare necessities...healthy food and clothes from a thrift shop of Walmart or else she had to pay for anything better. She was not allowed to use the internet. There weren't really cell phones back then, but if there had been, we would have stoped paying for that. She had been paying us for car insurance (her part of it) and putting her own gas in, which all of my kids had to do because we wanted them to have strong work ethics (they do), but after she was obviously on drugs, her use of our vehicles ended. We also regularly searched her room and found lots of interesting stuff and did report it to her parole officer. In fact, once a cop brought his dog in to sniff her room. I forgot about that until our ride home today when my husband reminded me and we had a laugh over it (thank God we can laugh about it now). We simply told her if she did illegal things in our house, she lost all privileges from us and had lost her right to privacy. Our house/our rules. She knew that if she didn't quit, she'd eventually have to leave when legal age, and she did leave. And she quit. In my opinion only, I think it would do him more good if he worked elsewhere from you. Hate to say it, but drug users are big on stealing because they want free money for more drugs. They are not trustworthy. Or as my now clean daughter says, "Never trust a druggie. They lie all the time." As a minor, most of the consequences have to come from us. And, yes, they rage and scream at us for it (shrug). Oh, well. [/QUOTE]
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