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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 698060" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>When my son starts to pick an argument with me I hear the robot voice from lost in space "danger, danger will Robinson" I know that it's a trap. You are right, it's something we cannot win. My son is a master at talking in circles and it can be exhausting. I go into safe mode and keep my responses very plain. </p><p>I have often wondered why my son will try and engage me into one of his debates. I wonder if it's because he is trying to prove he can break me or is he trying to avoid having a "real" conversation.</p><p></p><p></p><p>I agree!! When I finally stopped looking at my son in regards to him "needing" to change, things changed for me. When I realized that my wanting him to change was more about me and what I wanted than what he wanted was a huge turning point for me. I still don't like the lifestyle he is living but it's his life, his choice. </p><p></p><p>My son did send me a message that he wants to change, he's tired of his life being in a rut and that he wants our relationship to be better. I'm optimistically guarded. I'm so grateful I have this site to ask for feedback.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 698060, member: 18516"] When my son starts to pick an argument with me I hear the robot voice from lost in space "danger, danger will Robinson" I know that it's a trap. You are right, it's something we cannot win. My son is a master at talking in circles and it can be exhausting. I go into safe mode and keep my responses very plain. I have often wondered why my son will try and engage me into one of his debates. I wonder if it's because he is trying to prove he can break me or is he trying to avoid having a "real" conversation. I agree!! When I finally stopped looking at my son in regards to him "needing" to change, things changed for me. When I realized that my wanting him to change was more about me and what I wanted than what he wanted was a huge turning point for me. I still don't like the lifestyle he is living but it's his life, his choice. My son did send me a message that he wants to change, he's tired of his life being in a rut and that he wants our relationship to be better. I'm optimistically guarded. I'm so grateful I have this site to ask for feedback. [/QUOTE]
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