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<blockquote data-quote="Albatross" data-source="post: 698335" data-attributes="member: 17720"><p>Son got his replacement ID last Monday and said he had 2 "certain" jobs lined up, *IF ONLY* he had some work boots. His last day at the shelter was supposedly Friday if he did not have a job. So I got him some work boots, same day in-store pickup.</p><p></p><p>Yes, I know better, and I did it anyway.</p><p></p><p>He took 2 extra days to pick up the boots, then decided one of the jobs was too far to travel, then said the other one didn't call. We haven't heard from him in a week. His phone is off.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I think I am facing something similar. I am guessing that he either exchanged the boots for booze and got kicked out of the shelter for drinking OR he is in the wind again, or both.</p><p></p><p>He has his food stamps and his ID now. Easier to hit the road than to get a job.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Yes, exactly. Did my son ASK for boots? No. Did he even WANT the boots? Probably not. Not having boots was the last excuse he had for not working.</p><p></p><p>I KNOW better! I have been down this road SO MANY times before! Yet I continue to try to force change in the hopes that *he* can be what *I* want him to be.</p><p></p><p>How silly is that?</p><p></p><p>I saw this in "The Language of Letting Go" this morning. It seemed to really fit. With my son I can be a real "Energy Fairy", sprinkling my "magic change dust" all over the place. I really need to stop.</p><p></p><p><span style="color: #4d4dff">"Much of our obsessing, our intense focus on others, is done to facilitate this "out of body experience" we call codependency. We obsess, we babble, we become anxious. We try to control, caretake, and fuss over others. Our energy spills out of us onto whomever."</span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #4d4dff">Our energy is our energy."</span></p><p><span style="color: #4d4dff"></span></p><p><span style="color: #4d4dff">"If our energy is spilling out of us in unhealthy ways, we can ask ourselves what is going on, what is hurting us, what we are avoiding, what we need to face, what we need to deal with. Then we can do that."</span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Albatross, post: 698335, member: 17720"] Son got his replacement ID last Monday and said he had 2 "certain" jobs lined up, *IF ONLY* he had some work boots. His last day at the shelter was supposedly Friday if he did not have a job. So I got him some work boots, same day in-store pickup. Yes, I know better, and I did it anyway. He took 2 extra days to pick up the boots, then decided one of the jobs was too far to travel, then said the other one didn't call. We haven't heard from him in a week. His phone is off. I think I am facing something similar. I am guessing that he either exchanged the boots for booze and got kicked out of the shelter for drinking OR he is in the wind again, or both. He has his food stamps and his ID now. Easier to hit the road than to get a job. Yes, exactly. Did my son ASK for boots? No. Did he even WANT the boots? Probably not. Not having boots was the last excuse he had for not working. I KNOW better! I have been down this road SO MANY times before! Yet I continue to try to force change in the hopes that *he* can be what *I* want him to be. How silly is that? I saw this in "The Language of Letting Go" this morning. It seemed to really fit. With my son I can be a real "Energy Fairy", sprinkling my "magic change dust" all over the place. I really need to stop. [COLOR=#4d4dff]"Much of our obsessing, our intense focus on others, is done to facilitate this "out of body experience" we call codependency. We obsess, we babble, we become anxious. We try to control, caretake, and fuss over others. Our energy spills out of us onto whomever."[/COLOR] [COLOR=#4d4dff]Our energy is our energy." "If our energy is spilling out of us in unhealthy ways, we can ask ourselves what is going on, what is hurting us, what we are avoiding, what we need to face, what we need to deal with. Then we can do that."[/COLOR] [/QUOTE]
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