After 2 years plus of silence...my brother called...Lordy, Lordy!

[DDD]

This isn't an earth shattering post but it sure is "curious". As you all know I am 70 and have two older siblings remaining. My sister I have mentioned before is a rather loveable motor mouth who believes that she and her husband "know" National politics inside out and goes on...and on...and on about her far right ideals. on the other hand, lol, she is a good person. My big brother is a retired Colonel who has gotten stranger and stranger since his wife passed some years ago.

Yesterday he called me after over two years+ of silence. We have "always" talked on St. Patty's Day andshared menu's and songs and old family stories. My calls (usually he called me since I am the poor one) went unanswered. I knew I had not been unkind etc. and finally figured it must be because he feels that I have sacraficed my life for the grandchildren and he held me in distain.

Well, people, he called yesterday crying and asking if I would forgive hm. That was a no brainer, lol. Then he tells me that he quit calling me because I never answer the phone at night and he figured I was avoiding him. WTH! I've been pulling the plug on the phone at 8 every night for a few years. I am a senior citizen who works full time and parents a difficult child...I need some rest. Plus, I'm not only available at the store number every day..I have a blankin' toll free number.


Life is weird, people! We talked for two hours (that turned out to be on my dime, lol) and he is happy to be back in sync. Meanwhile in my head I'm thinking "how stupid is that", DDD

 

[InsaneCdn]

Classic. SO many family mis-understandings are just about that simple. Glad it could be resolved!

p.s. Do you have voice-mail or an answering machine? That way, when you unplug the phone, someone can still leave a message - so, you would still know of someone like your bro. called.

 

[DDD]

Nope. I just pull the plug for the sake of my sanity. I had far too many late night calls from difficult child#1 over the years needing to be picked up etc. My hearing is super sensitive so any message or click will wake me up. Yeah, I've been parenting difficult child's for too many decades. Now, lol, I figure that if a serious crisis arises locally I'll get a knock on the door and if any crisis arises from afar I will face it the next day. May be selfish but I've been hyper diligent for decades and now I deserve to at least try to get some sleep. Both my siblings have been retired for a long time. So far that's not on the horizon for me....we do live in different worlds. Much as I'd like to try theirs, lol, I have to live mine. DDD

 

[InsaneCdn]

For the record - I totally understand not wanting an answering machine - for those very reasons. BUT... voicemail doesn't work that way. It is provided by your phone company. If your phone is not answered, OR unplugged, then the call is re-routed to THEIR computer - you hear nothing. There will be a little light or something on your phone, or a fast beep in your ear when you go to use the phone, to tell you there is a message. But voicemail is silent - something to think about.

 

[DDD]

Hmmmm....but silence is golden. Maybe this will clarify it a bit more. My big sister completely knows that 8 pm is the cut off for the phone (as do the children and grandchildren) SO she will call at five of eight and say "Oh, thank goodness I got you before you unplugged the phone". Then she talks (no exaggeration) for an hour or two and I am nodding off as I listen. Now, honestly, does that make any sense?? She's not sharing deep thoughts or urgent problems. She just wants to talk. Meanwhile from six AM when she gets up to eight PM she doesn't call? I don't get it. Really I am a nice guy sort but I have claimed 8 pm to 8 am as time for me to regenerate. If they lived anywhere nearby I might feel obligated to "take calls" but there's nothing I can do during the night that would be helpful anyway. Nope. I'm being a DDD advocate (saving my sanity advocate). You can email, you can fax, you can call my work number or call my toll free number but I will not answer my home phone after eight! LOL DDD

 

[Hound dog]

I'm glad the misunderstanding was resolved.

But I have a sneaky suspicion something may have triggered his insight and the phone call itself to fix the situation. It could've been a scare with him, or something with a friend ect.

Doesn't matter though, what matters is that he made that call and fixed it. Good for him.

 

[DDD]

I guess in my posts I forgot to mention, lol, that it was really nice to hear from him. He had his 80th birthday this week and perhaps that triggered him to rethink his choices. All these years I have "thought" it was something on a heavy duty level and I just couldn't believe it was what it was. Even though it drives me semi crazy I guess if you have spent decades retired and living a peaceful daily life it must be difficult to understand what it is like to still be working and living the difficult child lifestyle that the CD family knows all too well. DDD

 

[TerryJ2]

OMG. I wonder how many misunderstandings are so easily repaired. You are so lucky! Bravo!