After a week at p-hospital he is back in rehab.

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by MyHeartHisLife, Sep 20, 2014.

  1. MyHeartHisLife

    MyHeartHisLife New Member

    difficult child spent a week in the p-hospital and is doing very well, now back on medications and he was discharged yesterday to 30 day rehab (the same one) He was accepted to their 90 day program BUT when insurance runs out(usually they pay 30 days) we would be responsible for $300 a day. We cannot afford that. We are tapped out. It's really unfortunate that we are in the middle class where we can't get assistance and we don't make enough to foot the bill. Since he has insurance (ours) he doesn't qualify for assistance even though he's homeless! Social worker didn't recommend dropping him from insurance. She said to use it until they won't pay anymore because at least he can get immediate services where people with-o insurance tend to go on waiting lists for rehabs and other services. He will still qualify for food stamps and such but medical type stuff he doesn't. He really needs 90 days (and wants it!) I'm not sure what to do.

    Also, since the 2 sober homes try's didn't work out my husband and I are considering letting him stay here temporarily (2-4 months) when he gets out until he can get a job and on his feet. He said he is to influenced by others and lacks the self control to say no (when he's on medicine he thinks so clearly and gets it) BUT we have a few issues and considerations beyond the obvious.

    One, technically if a licensed driver lives in a household they have to be on the insurance. His insurance will be astronomical because he has tickets/accidents (and possibly a DWI) and he has not had any insurance since he left our house (he had no car either). We already pay a lot with 2 other teens on our insurance. While he will not be aloud to drive our cars...we worry he may take one and something could happen (he's a terrible driver) So that is something to consider. Anyone know if you can exclude a driver living with you or any other recommendations?

    Secondly, we lease our home. He is not on the lease. "Guests" can only stay two weeks at a time as our lease agreement states. We used this as an excuse in the past for reason why he can't live with us. We do NOT want to put him on the lease. Apparently, that gives them "rights" and they have to be evicted if something go awry.

    Are there any other options besides sober homes? I really don't want him living here but if by chance he could make it if he did, of course I would do it. I just don't have a crystal ball. Either way, this is the LAST time I am going through this, if he goes back to the streets I'm done. My body and mind can't take it anymore.
     
  2. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Are there any of those cheap hotels/motels you pay by the month in your area? Is there a YMCA close to you? Rooms to rent? These are all options I've heard discussed on this forum before.

    I've never heard about the rule about licensed drivers who live with you having to be on your insurance. Have you verified that?

    If you do decide to allow him to live with you, his "rights" as a tenant vary with each state. In CA. you have to legally evict someone with a court order, but that is not the case in other areas, you may want to find out exactly what eviction means in your state so that you have all your ducks in order before you make any choices.

    You may also want to post your questions about other options in the Substance Abuse forum here, the folks there are well versed in these areas.

    Good luck, I hope you find solutions to your inquiries.
     
  3. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I am not entirely sure about the insurance stuff but I think you are correct. If the person is under a certain age and has a driver's license then they have to be on your insurance. I got around that when mine were teens because none of them were allowed to get their licenses. Now if your son was living in my state, he would have a driver's license illegally because he doesnt have insurance. In NC you have to be covered by insurance in order to get and keep a driver's license.
     
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    In our state you have to insure everyone in the house who drives. This is in case your kid decides to joy ride with your car...they want to make sure the other guy will be insured and it also protects you so you don't have to pay if the adult kid gets into an accident. I actually think it's smart.

    I would look at Recovering's options. Although I don't walk in your shoes, I am guessing it is stressful for you to live with this adult child. I wouldn't. If he refuses to go where you are willing to pay him to go, then I'd just let him do it himself or go homeless. You can give him a list of homeless shelters and places to eat (there are usually plenty).

    Hugs for your hurting heart.
     
  5. 2much2recover

    2much2recover Well-Known Member

    See if he can get a room-mate closer to work - tell him to go through AA/Narcotics anon. Maybe a sponsor would help. Of this would be something he would have to seek out. As far as room-mate- maybe cheaper in the long run to pay enough rent until first paycheck. DO NOT SIGN ANY CONTRACT!
     
  6. MyHeartHisLife

    MyHeartHisLife New Member

    Thank you guys for your comments and support. We will keep looking into alternative places for him. We still have some time but we are trying to be as prepared as possible. It is all so overwhelming! You'd think 3rd time around would be easier on us but it's actually harder. I try to be optimistic but it's hard when you feel you've traveled this road before and you and he are still lost!
     
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