After all is said & done......

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by timer lady, Jun 15, 2011.

  1. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    What can I say? I'm so frustrated.

    A bed has been found & kt has been approved for treatment. We toured the facility; kt asked some very intelligent questions & rec'd her answers. I was proud of her ~ she tried, really tried, to keep an open mind.

    kt is refusing treatment at this facility. No other beds open until mid to late July. By that time the approval for treatment will have expired unlikely to be approved once more. The reason being if kt is managing this long in the home she doesn't need the treatment.

    I truly believe that the push for treatment is in part due to kt's ability of (or lack thereof) to function safely. I know the other reason for the push is to give me a break from the nonstop chaos.

    kt is presenting as stable yet I can see how difficult it is for her to maintain that presentation. She falls apart (disassociates) fairly quickly on a regular basis or when expected to function at her age level.

    On it goes....

    I haven't been here much for that I apologize ~ just too crazy around here.

  2. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Why didn't she like the facility? Is it something that can be adjusted so that she will go?
  3. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    JJJ, she's terrified of the size of the building, the fact that there's a homeless shelter in some part of the building (tho thoroughly detached from the treatment center & there's never contact because of the level of security), the dark hall they'd have to retreat to in case of tornadoes & mostly the noise.

    I've tried all sorts of common sense ideas on how kt can/will be able to handle those issues & that other issues (homeless shelter) will be handled by security. kt will no longer discuss it; when I gently pushed her yesterday to look at the big picture she disassociated. Ick.
  4. keista

    keista New Member

    I really hate that logic. The reality is if you have no choice you make do. That doesn't mean you are "doing well"

    (((((HUGS))))) to both of you.

    Don't give up on her, and don't give up on trying for another approval if necessary.
  5. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Has she seen and toured the faciility that will have a bed in July? Just wondering if any facility will get her ok. I still can't believe that she is legally in the driver's seat on such an important life choice. I honestly don't know how you keep your sanity when you consistently have to deal with such ongoing less than sane events. As always I am sending supportive caring thoughts you way. DDD
  6. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It


    I wish I had some magic answer to make her accept this treatment or to make her better. Keeping you in my prayers!
  7. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Linda... I have no answers... Only lots of gentle hugs.
  8. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I am so sorry Linda. I wish there was some way to get thru to her. I so know what you (and she ) goes through trying to maintain that tiny hold on sanity.
  9. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    ((hugs)) I'm sorry things are so difficult.
  10. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    *hugs* hon. I really wish they had more sense than that.
  11. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Many hugs, Linda.
  12. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Thanks all .... I've posted an update on another thread. Kind of the same with more news.

    I appreciate all the thoughts & wisdom.
  13. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    I know the laws vary by area but the idea that someone her age can make decisions like that herself, especially about mental health care, is absolutely ridiculous! Just the very fact that she NEEDS it so badly should mean that she's not capable enough or mature enough to be making that decision herself! I'm sure you have explored every avenue but is there no way that she can be put in there involuntarily or would that only be if she was judged to be a danger to herself or others?
  14. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

  15. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Donna, I've yet to understand the laws that give children under 18 the right, the decision for care. Many studies indicate that the brain isn't fully developed until children hit their mid 20's. AND the powers that be give mentally/emotionally disturbed children the right to make decisions regarding their health care ~ both physical & mental. :groan:
  16. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Ohhhhhh, Linda.
    I can only hope she changes her mind. Quickly.