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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 679484" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>New Leaf, I have read the initial posts again.</p><p></p><p>First, let me say this: I am finding this dialog very useful and valuable. I am learning a good deal about what I think and where I stand, a good thing.</p><p></p><p>I am grateful to you for hearing me out. And by challenging what I have written. That helps me to understand better what is my thinking, because by doing so, I must clarify my own thinking to myself.</p><p></p><p>That is the value of all of this. Where we go, where we may travel, in response to the challenges of others. Doing this alone would not work in the way that this does.</p><p></p><p>I am inviting you to continue this dialog. I would like to do so.</p><p></p><p>There was a Dr. Seuss book with a title something like: <u>The places we may go</u>. If I remember I will check on the title and perhaps re-read. I saved all of my son's books. My sister threw them away or did something else with them, I do not know. But I can buy another copy. Maybe I will.</p><p></p><p>If would be helpful for me to know, specifically, which words of my own indicated that I had misconstrued your post (and which parts of your post did I misconstrue)? Then we can go from there. That would be interesting to me and valuable.</p><p></p><p>I believe I understood your post, but I disagree with certain points. But I have to be open to the possibility that I did not understand. And you have the opportunity here to speak up for yourself. Speaking up for yourself is not the same as blaming others for speaking up for themselves. That I speak up for myself is not intended to be aggression against you. That you may choose to see it that way, is a choice.</p><p></p><p>When somebody has hurt me here on CD, when I have reflected upon it, I had the choice to see it as about them or myself. I have the potential (but have not always done so) to have realized that my hurt is my responsibility. And the extent to which I feel they hurt me, and it is their responsibility to fix themselves, to right<em> their</em> thinking, <em>their</em> way of expressing themselves, I was wrong. </p><p></p><p>They did me a favor by pointing out to me where I was either wrong, weak, self-serving or in denial. Or guilty because underneath it all I had felt I had done something wrong. My defensiveness was a weakness.</p><p></p><p>Those people did me a favor and I needed them in my life. They help me see myself better, and to heal my deep hurts. In looking back, they were my best friends, the people who hurt me. It costs very little indeed, to lie or to overlook or to ignore. How does that really contribute to anything?</p><p></p><p>I am working very hard to be real and to tell the truth. I am risking being wrong. That is OK. I would rather be wrong than weak and afraid.</p><p></p><p>So back to the original theme of this post:What do you believe was misconstrued? Maybe we need to start over from there and to dialog about it, so that I can correct any mis-perception and/or try to explain better, what I did mean.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 679484, member: 18958"] New Leaf, I have read the initial posts again. First, let me say this: I am finding this dialog very useful and valuable. I am learning a good deal about what I think and where I stand, a good thing. I am grateful to you for hearing me out. And by challenging what I have written. That helps me to understand better what is my thinking, because by doing so, I must clarify my own thinking to myself. That is the value of all of this. Where we go, where we may travel, in response to the challenges of others. Doing this alone would not work in the way that this does. I am inviting you to continue this dialog. I would like to do so. There was a Dr. Seuss book with a title something like: [U]The places we may go[/U]. If I remember I will check on the title and perhaps re-read. I saved all of my son's books. My sister threw them away or did something else with them, I do not know. But I can buy another copy. Maybe I will. If would be helpful for me to know, specifically, which words of my own indicated that I had misconstrued your post (and which parts of your post did I misconstrue)? Then we can go from there. That would be interesting to me and valuable. I believe I understood your post, but I disagree with certain points. But I have to be open to the possibility that I did not understand. And you have the opportunity here to speak up for yourself. Speaking up for yourself is not the same as blaming others for speaking up for themselves. That I speak up for myself is not intended to be aggression against you. That you may choose to see it that way, is a choice. When somebody has hurt me here on CD, when I have reflected upon it, I had the choice to see it as about them or myself. I have the potential (but have not always done so) to have realized that my hurt is my responsibility. And the extent to which I feel they hurt me, and it is their responsibility to fix themselves, to right[I] their[/I] thinking, [I]their[/I] way of expressing themselves, I was wrong. They did me a favor by pointing out to me where I was either wrong, weak, self-serving or in denial. Or guilty because underneath it all I had felt I had done something wrong. My defensiveness was a weakness. Those people did me a favor and I needed them in my life. They help me see myself better, and to heal my deep hurts. In looking back, they were my best friends, the people who hurt me. It costs very little indeed, to lie or to overlook or to ignore. How does that really contribute to anything? I am working very hard to be real and to tell the truth. I am risking being wrong. That is OK. I would rather be wrong than weak and afraid. So back to the original theme of this post:What do you believe was misconstrued? Maybe we need to start over from there and to dialog about it, so that I can correct any mis-perception and/or try to explain better, what I did mean. COPA [/QUOTE]
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