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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 679918" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>You were missing yourself, Leafy. You were not accepting yourself. They ~ whoever they are ~ cannot bequeath acceptance, like some magical beneficence or some now you see it, now you don't trick. Only you can cherish yourself. No one can do it for you and no one can take it away once you know how to self-cherish. It has something to do with not requiring perfection and with not believing perfection matters. I am not there yet, so I can only tell you that little bit about that whole perfectionism thing. I know it is in there somewhere at the living heart of things, though. That is where Brene Brown's "Sit with the feelings." comes in. That is there the gladiator comes in, and work, and Copa's Germany. Whether someone else cherishes us or condemns us or whatever it is that they do, <em>to ourselves</em>, we are the only ones who can cherish all of ourselves. Until we do that, no one else can cherish us, either.</p><p></p><p>Internal, versus external, locus of control.</p><p></p><p>Ahem.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Yes.</p><p></p><p>It all becomes so complex we cannot make sense of how to go about changing any of it. So, we have to choose simple. (Which is also what every spiritual tradition tells us, way down in the heart of it.)</p><p></p><p>Kinder.</p><p></p><p>That is something we can do, in our face to face days.</p><p></p><p>But sometimes, I am really mean. That too is where the value of work comes in.</p><p></p><p>I am not to Germany yet.</p><p></p><p>But I do begin to glimpse the value of work.</p><p></p><p>Here is something beautiful:</p><p></p><p><em>"The years teach us much the days never knew."</em></p><p></p><p><em>Ralph Waldo Emerson</em></p><p></p><p>This too has to do with the intrinsic value of work, and of the value of mistakes.</p><p></p><p>Most scientific advances occurred through mistakes. Did you know?</p><p></p><p>Yep.</p><p></p><p>Even unraveling the structure of the D N A molecule.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 679918, member: 17461"] You were missing yourself, Leafy. You were not accepting yourself. They ~ whoever they are ~ cannot bequeath acceptance, like some magical beneficence or some now you see it, now you don't trick. Only you can cherish yourself. No one can do it for you and no one can take it away once you know how to self-cherish. It has something to do with not requiring perfection and with not believing perfection matters. I am not there yet, so I can only tell you that little bit about that whole perfectionism thing. I know it is in there somewhere at the living heart of things, though. That is where Brene Brown's "Sit with the feelings." comes in. That is there the gladiator comes in, and work, and Copa's Germany. Whether someone else cherishes us or condemns us or whatever it is that they do, [I]to ourselves[/I], we are the only ones who can cherish all of ourselves. Until we do that, no one else can cherish us, either. Internal, versus external, locus of control. Ahem. Yes. It all becomes so complex we cannot make sense of how to go about changing any of it. So, we have to choose simple. (Which is also what every spiritual tradition tells us, way down in the heart of it.) Kinder. That is something we can do, in our face to face days. But sometimes, I am really mean. That too is where the value of work comes in. I am not to Germany yet. But I do begin to glimpse the value of work. Here is something beautiful: [I]"The years teach us much the days never knew."[/I] [I]Ralph Waldo Emerson[/I] This too has to do with the intrinsic value of work, and of the value of mistakes. Most scientific advances occurred through mistakes. Did you know? Yep. Even unraveling the structure of the D N A molecule. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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