Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
Family of Origin
After Narcissistic Abuse Link
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 680211" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I could never get across what was happening to me.</p><p></p><p>what happens to us is to some extent a product of our own perceptions...how we interpret the events in which we are a part or those we witness. </p><p></p><p>that is why we can enter late adulthood believing ourselves to have been responsible for what happened when we were four years old. Or conversely, believing we have no responsibility for that which befalls us when we are over 60. </p><p></p><p>we can choose to re-think events we experienced at 4, through adult eyes. </p><p></p><p>you see, I believe that we have control and responsibility to decide we are wrong. that because we perceived something, at 4, does not mean we must believe and live by it at 60. to rethink our lives, is not to accept blame or responsibility for our circumstances at 4 years old. it is only to say that now that i have greater capacity and potential i can choose differently. joseph chose to live as if he had all of the power in his hands at 20, 30, 40 whatever. he chose to not settle scores of a 4 year old. because to have done so, would diminish him. </p><p></p><p>we have that same potential as did he. and responsibility, too.</p><p></p><p>I believe you cedar are our pre-iminent model in this. even if you cannot help your sister to evolve and to confront herself, to leave behind her 4 year old self, you keep asking, requiring yourself, to extend yourself and your help to her, and others, here. you do so to be your best self. you require that of yourself, independent of any response or requirement. to me, that is a worthy goal. even though i know in myself that i choose to not yet do the same.</p><p></p><p>we can persist with adaptive patterns that served us when we were 4, or not. our own choice. to decide if something serves us and others, we need first to become aware. becoming aware is never a wrong thing, to me. even if we decide, especially if we decide something different.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 680211, member: 18958"] I could never get across what was happening to me. what happens to us is to some extent a product of our own perceptions...how we interpret the events in which we are a part or those we witness. that is why we can enter late adulthood believing ourselves to have been responsible for what happened when we were four years old. Or conversely, believing we have no responsibility for that which befalls us when we are over 60. we can choose to re-think events we experienced at 4, through adult eyes. you see, I believe that we have control and responsibility to decide we are wrong. that because we perceived something, at 4, does not mean we must believe and live by it at 60. to rethink our lives, is not to accept blame or responsibility for our circumstances at 4 years old. it is only to say that now that i have greater capacity and potential i can choose differently. joseph chose to live as if he had all of the power in his hands at 20, 30, 40 whatever. he chose to not settle scores of a 4 year old. because to have done so, would diminish him. we have that same potential as did he. and responsibility, too. I believe you cedar are our pre-iminent model in this. even if you cannot help your sister to evolve and to confront herself, to leave behind her 4 year old self, you keep asking, requiring yourself, to extend yourself and your help to her, and others, here. you do so to be your best self. you require that of yourself, independent of any response or requirement. to me, that is a worthy goal. even though i know in myself that i choose to not yet do the same. we can persist with adaptive patterns that served us when we were 4, or not. our own choice. to decide if something serves us and others, we need first to become aware. becoming aware is never a wrong thing, to me. even if we decide, especially if we decide something different. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
Family of Origin
After Narcissistic Abuse Link
Top