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<blockquote data-quote="lovemysons" data-source="post: 608943" data-attributes="member: 3305"><p>Hi there,</p><p>What works or doesn't work? Hmmm...that's a really good question and I think much of it depends on the individual as almost all of us would agree that it is a personal battle and a personal daily decision to remain sober. </p><p></p><p>For us...We took the boys to AA meetings and also private counceling session's. Unfortunately, neither of these things ultimately worked out well as both of our son's continued to look for drugs/alcohol after they were released. </p><p>We tried different kinds of schools too including: alternative school, church school, a wilderness school type program, homeschooling etc.</p><p></p><p>What has seemed to work (yrs in the making) was simply having to deal with life as an adult. Our oldest son was very involved with Meth for awhile. He even stole computer equip from one of husband's client's for this drug. He ended up in prison and struggled a bit with alcohol after he was released. But having his first daughter seemed to change everything...that and being given an opportunity to share in the workload and benefits of a partnership in his own company. Now he has a wife, 3 beautiful daughters, his own home, and is a partner in his own company. Lots of pressure and responsibility...so far he is successful. </p><p></p><p>Now, our younger son is a different story. While his older brother was in prison he decided to join the military. Made it through basic but a year into it was given a general discharge (honorable) as I believe he came up positive on a UA and did not fit into military well. He now has 3 beautiful children and a very sweet wife...it has made no difference for him as you can see through my recent posts. </p><p></p><p>So it will be up to your difficult child. No matter how much money you throw at the problem...the decision to turn his life/his will over to the care of God is his alone. It cannot be forced or bought. </p><p></p><p>The rehab your son is at should provide a discharge plan that will include meetings, getting a sponser, alternative activities to use, schedules, etc. </p><p></p><p>I am impressed that your son "told on himself". That does sound like a good sign as now his hiding places have been exposed. I am hopeful that your son is truly ready to embrace sobriety. You just never know what it will take! </p><p></p><p>I also think the school sounds good...However, given my experience, I would want to see a period of sobriety before investing yourselves further. Like for instance, if difficult child can keep up the work for 2 months after rehab, then you all might then be willing to pay the tuition on this new school. It would give him a goal to work for...and I think that can make a difference. </p><p></p><p>Glad you are looking ahead at the possibilities. </p><p>Thinking of you,</p><p>LMS</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="lovemysons, post: 608943, member: 3305"] Hi there, What works or doesn't work? Hmmm...that's a really good question and I think much of it depends on the individual as almost all of us would agree that it is a personal battle and a personal daily decision to remain sober. For us...We took the boys to AA meetings and also private counceling session's. Unfortunately, neither of these things ultimately worked out well as both of our son's continued to look for drugs/alcohol after they were released. We tried different kinds of schools too including: alternative school, church school, a wilderness school type program, homeschooling etc. What has seemed to work (yrs in the making) was simply having to deal with life as an adult. Our oldest son was very involved with Meth for awhile. He even stole computer equip from one of husband's client's for this drug. He ended up in prison and struggled a bit with alcohol after he was released. But having his first daughter seemed to change everything...that and being given an opportunity to share in the workload and benefits of a partnership in his own company. Now he has a wife, 3 beautiful daughters, his own home, and is a partner in his own company. Lots of pressure and responsibility...so far he is successful. Now, our younger son is a different story. While his older brother was in prison he decided to join the military. Made it through basic but a year into it was given a general discharge (honorable) as I believe he came up positive on a UA and did not fit into military well. He now has 3 beautiful children and a very sweet wife...it has made no difference for him as you can see through my recent posts. So it will be up to your difficult child. No matter how much money you throw at the problem...the decision to turn his life/his will over to the care of God is his alone. It cannot be forced or bought. The rehab your son is at should provide a discharge plan that will include meetings, getting a sponser, alternative activities to use, schedules, etc. I am impressed that your son "told on himself". That does sound like a good sign as now his hiding places have been exposed. I am hopeful that your son is truly ready to embrace sobriety. You just never know what it will take! I also think the school sounds good...However, given my experience, I would want to see a period of sobriety before investing yourselves further. Like for instance, if difficult child can keep up the work for 2 months after rehab, then you all might then be willing to pay the tuition on this new school. It would give him a goal to work for...and I think that can make a difference. Glad you are looking ahead at the possibilities. Thinking of you, LMS [/QUOTE]
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