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Aggravated and humiliated (ridiculously long; sorry)
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 378409" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Not at all. There is a huge gulf between Munchhausen's, and Munchhausen's by proxy. The perfect indicator that your case is NOT MbP is, your son was clearly not in your control. He failed to turn up. You can't have MbP if the child is not completely controlled by the parent. He mentioned Munchhausen's but you already said you weren't fully paying attention because you were so upset. He may have been saying, "Well, it COULD be, but I don't think so; we would need to rule it out." He sounds like he was desperate to help you and was probably grasping at straws.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Don't be too hard on the doctor - he was doing the best he could, anything he said was prompted by what you told him. What else could he do? I know others advise moving on and finding a new doctor - you feel you want to, but a big part of your feelings I suspect are due to you having exposed yourself so much, perhaps showed so much emotion that you feel embarrassed to see him again. Don't be concerned by this. Often when the doctor sees this, they realise just how desperate we are and that desperation does not come out of thin air.</p><p></p><p></p><p>No, it wasn't for nothing. You got the chance to say as much as you could (the patient's presence would have helped - but you had done what you could) and you had told the doctor enough for him to suggest referring him on. It sounds like the doctor, if he had seen your son, would have said the same things to you anyway. When we are concerned about our difficult children, a GP is the first (brief) port of call; what we need is a specialist referral. You have that. Even if the person you have been referred to is another GP, it will be a GP with more experience in difficult children and hopefully better able to help you find the right specialty, trying to shortcut your trek to a diagnosis. </p><p></p><p> The process of getting your child assessed and diagnosed is not linear. It is tedious, it is distressing and it is very frustrating in the ay you bounce form one referral to another, hopefully each time getting closer. It is like walking a maze; there are dead ends and wrong paths, but each wrong path explored is a path ruled out. WHat remains reduces in the number of possibilities and this is a GOOD thing, because it means you are more likely to get onto the correct path, when you have eliminated more of the wrong ones. And with a maze, when you are really lost - put your hand on the left wall (or the right - pick one and stick to it) and keep your hand there. Very few mazes cannot be solved that way eventually. It takes longer, you cover more of the same territory, but eventually you will get to the end of it. OK, enough metaphor.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 378409, member: 1991"] Not at all. There is a huge gulf between Munchhausen's, and Munchhausen's by proxy. The perfect indicator that your case is NOT MbP is, your son was clearly not in your control. He failed to turn up. You can't have MbP if the child is not completely controlled by the parent. He mentioned Munchhausen's but you already said you weren't fully paying attention because you were so upset. He may have been saying, "Well, it COULD be, but I don't think so; we would need to rule it out." He sounds like he was desperate to help you and was probably grasping at straws. Don't be too hard on the doctor - he was doing the best he could, anything he said was prompted by what you told him. What else could he do? I know others advise moving on and finding a new doctor - you feel you want to, but a big part of your feelings I suspect are due to you having exposed yourself so much, perhaps showed so much emotion that you feel embarrassed to see him again. Don't be concerned by this. Often when the doctor sees this, they realise just how desperate we are and that desperation does not come out of thin air. No, it wasn't for nothing. You got the chance to say as much as you could (the patient's presence would have helped - but you had done what you could) and you had told the doctor enough for him to suggest referring him on. It sounds like the doctor, if he had seen your son, would have said the same things to you anyway. When we are concerned about our difficult children, a GP is the first (brief) port of call; what we need is a specialist referral. You have that. Even if the person you have been referred to is another GP, it will be a GP with more experience in difficult children and hopefully better able to help you find the right specialty, trying to shortcut your trek to a diagnosis. The process of getting your child assessed and diagnosed is not linear. It is tedious, it is distressing and it is very frustrating in the ay you bounce form one referral to another, hopefully each time getting closer. It is like walking a maze; there are dead ends and wrong paths, but each wrong path explored is a path ruled out. WHat remains reduces in the number of possibilities and this is a GOOD thing, because it means you are more likely to get onto the correct path, when you have eliminated more of the wrong ones. And with a maze, when you are really lost - put your hand on the left wall (or the right - pick one and stick to it) and keep your hand there. Very few mazes cannot be solved that way eventually. It takes longer, you cover more of the same territory, but eventually you will get to the end of it. OK, enough metaphor. [/QUOTE]
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