Agh....I am so tired of this!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by lovelyboy, Sep 19, 2012.

  1. lovelyboy

    lovelyboy Member

    Remember we decided its not the right time yet for difficult child to go on a school camp for 3 days...because he started getting panic attacks exct....begging me not to go!
    So now the teacher makes things sound so great for the camp and I am sure she was manipulating him in going because she feels this will be good for him....Well so I said ok he can go...because she made me look like the baddy who doesnt want my son to go! When he told her the next morning he could go...she said yes! Like she got a victory....Well that was a week ago....my son is starting to act out at home, cant concentrate on his homework, cries every afternoon because he feels tired and overwhelmed....he is becoming a mess and obviously doesnt realize why and struggles to deal with the emotions of being torn between pleasing and enjoying his teacher and camp and fear for leaving the house and going! I know and you know the reason, maybe I must let teacher know what a mess she has putt my son in and what hell our home and family is going through???!!!
     
  2. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    OK- well, in my humble opinion, that's when you tell them that inspite of your better judgement, you tried what they recommended and it's not working. So it needs to change immediately.
     
  3. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Ditto!! I would also talk to difficult child about his feelings and use it as a teaching moment. Explain to him what you think he's feeling and encourage him to talk about it. Make sure he also knows that it's okay to not do what the teacher wants sometimes .... not using those exact words of course. If it were me, I would also have a talk with the teacher about not manipulating him that way. But then, that's just me and I will go to the ends of the Earth to protect my son from unnecessary stress that I KNOW he can't handle.
     
  4. lovelyboy

    lovelyboy Member

    I am playing with the idea!
    At the moment I honestly dont know what will do more harm!? For him not to partake in the excitement in class of planning and looking forward of going or being excluded and not going! I am kind of thinking to wait a bit longer and see, but dont know how much my son can take anymore.... It's still 2 weeks before they go!
    Remember he has no insight....so if I with hold now I am the baddy and opposition! I am kind of hoping for something that will draw the line?
    Teachers must not try and fix kids or their protective parents! There is a good reason why we do the things we do!!!
     
  5. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Get used to it... even the BEST teachers we've had, have been this way. They absolutely do NOT understand. Even the ones who have their own challenging kids, don't quite get it.

    It will be up to you to be the brick wall, to call the shots ahead and do not change.

    But that will come with time and practice... (been there done that)

    As for this one... having given in, you are caught between a rock and a hard place. No matter what you do NOW, it will be the wrong thing. (been there done that too)

    We didn't ask for this. My only consolation has been... my difficult child didn't ask for it either.
     
  6. lovelyboy

    lovelyboy Member

    Very true......Thats why I am so upset about the situation....She already said yes to him before discussing it with me!
     
  7. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Not sure when this trip is taking place, but I'd give it a little more time.
    I'd be inclined to send my son on the trip, and act as a chaperone, which would create a buffer.
    I'm sorry that the teacher went ahead with-plans before consulting you.
    Having said that, it's possible that her "YeSSS!" reaction was her excitement about having him come along, rather than anything punitive.

    I know that back-and-forth drama. So sorry.
    Hugs.
     
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