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<blockquote data-quote="Jena" data-source="post: 409862" data-attributes="member: 4514"><p>Janet </p><p> </p><p>you are right and you wouldnt' believe it yet i adore kids, all kids. i truly do. i love hanging out with them, talking to them their innocence just all of it. seeing the world through their eyes.</p><p> </p><p>i guess i just feel beat up. i've tried so many things for difficult child since it seems like age 4 it hit, we knew early with the not sleeping etc. yet once she hit school tha'Tourette's Syndrome when the fun awlays begins. i feel defeated because nothing i do, change, doctor's medications nothing helps her at all.Star's told me too it's that one thing you just cant' do well. yet thing is it's the most important.</p><p> </p><p>the glasses was just no big deal yet something snapped in me and i did the woo is me routine and bad i know i did. i used to be able to fit in all the good junk the painting on my easel, my free time, etc. yet i guess that slots' been taken up by marriage and husband. </p><p> </p><p>did you feel that way? that your home was under seige by him since birth? i love her please dont' misunderstand. yet she'll be 12 on monday and to be very honest i'm afraid. im afraid of where she'll wind up, what the next year will bring. will she ever have a friend in this lifetime go to school, function normally take a shower care be positive? will she stop wetting her bed ever?</p><p> </p><p>parenting easy child as i'm sure you knwo day and total night. now she's kicking up the teen years have been a huge struggle obviously. yet up till than she was a walk in the park. nothing and imean nothing i do with difficult child works. ppl keep mentioning residential yet i dont' wanna give up the fight. it doesnt' feel right yet. i dont' know if this post was so much about me and what i'm missing, as to what she's missing by always being with me each night each day with me. i feel like i cant' breath she gets aggrivated i get frustrated she blows up i blow up. yuck. </p><p> </p><p>than in the background as i go through the trenches here is literally the only and i mean only place that gets it. my mom continuously throws out stupid suggestions meaning well from her perch yet she has no idea what life is like. what it's like not to be able to pee alone, or watch your kid sit day after day alone. gut wrenching.</p><p> </p><p>yea i look at you, your life and it gives me hope i will not lie. and yes i'll be that grandma who bakes the cookies, does the babysitting offers help. tha'Tourette's Syndrome the grandma they didnt' get. it's not about cig. smoke lol i saw your other response on last thread. it's about the lack of trying to "get" difficult child spend time with her connect. they invite us over she sits there with-me smoking and drinking away rambling on about HER life. doesn't sit with-difficult child color, talk, etc. </p><p> </p><p>i guess i need to take a deep breath, find some me time in this insanity i'm wearing thing take care of me somehow make the time at some point. so i can handle the rest. i've held strong so far and i just feel like now im faltering and kinda like ok i give i give lol.</p><p> </p><p>thanks!!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jena, post: 409862, member: 4514"] Janet you are right and you wouldnt' believe it yet i adore kids, all kids. i truly do. i love hanging out with them, talking to them their innocence just all of it. seeing the world through their eyes. i guess i just feel beat up. i've tried so many things for difficult child since it seems like age 4 it hit, we knew early with the not sleeping etc. yet once she hit school tha'Tourette's Syndrome when the fun awlays begins. i feel defeated because nothing i do, change, doctor's medications nothing helps her at all.Star's told me too it's that one thing you just cant' do well. yet thing is it's the most important. the glasses was just no big deal yet something snapped in me and i did the woo is me routine and bad i know i did. i used to be able to fit in all the good junk the painting on my easel, my free time, etc. yet i guess that slots' been taken up by marriage and husband. did you feel that way? that your home was under seige by him since birth? i love her please dont' misunderstand. yet she'll be 12 on monday and to be very honest i'm afraid. im afraid of where she'll wind up, what the next year will bring. will she ever have a friend in this lifetime go to school, function normally take a shower care be positive? will she stop wetting her bed ever? parenting easy child as i'm sure you knwo day and total night. now she's kicking up the teen years have been a huge struggle obviously. yet up till than she was a walk in the park. nothing and imean nothing i do with difficult child works. ppl keep mentioning residential yet i dont' wanna give up the fight. it doesnt' feel right yet. i dont' know if this post was so much about me and what i'm missing, as to what she's missing by always being with me each night each day with me. i feel like i cant' breath she gets aggrivated i get frustrated she blows up i blow up. yuck. than in the background as i go through the trenches here is literally the only and i mean only place that gets it. my mom continuously throws out stupid suggestions meaning well from her perch yet she has no idea what life is like. what it's like not to be able to pee alone, or watch your kid sit day after day alone. gut wrenching. yea i look at you, your life and it gives me hope i will not lie. and yes i'll be that grandma who bakes the cookies, does the babysitting offers help. tha'Tourette's Syndrome the grandma they didnt' get. it's not about cig. smoke lol i saw your other response on last thread. it's about the lack of trying to "get" difficult child spend time with her connect. they invite us over she sits there with-me smoking and drinking away rambling on about HER life. doesn't sit with-difficult child color, talk, etc. i guess i need to take a deep breath, find some me time in this insanity i'm wearing thing take care of me somehow make the time at some point. so i can handle the rest. i've held strong so far and i just feel like now im faltering and kinda like ok i give i give lol. thanks!!! [/QUOTE]
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